


Trail Mix

by SamCyberCat



Series: Zombie Diet [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombies, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-12
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-08-30 14:50:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 22
Words: 45,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8537293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamCyberCat/pseuds/SamCyberCat
Summary: The last two survivors heading out of Iwatobi are Sousuke and Makoto. Something that Makoto isn't taking very well in light of what they've been through.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Zombie AU SouMako. This was originally going to be a party-favour fill for the Makoto Tachibana Birthday Exchange 2016, but after writing it I realised that maybe it didn't fit within the guidelines of no harm coming to canon characters, so I'm posting it as its own thing instead. And maybe also because I've got a backlog of Makoto fics waiting for his birthday and I'm caving into temptation by posting one of them now.

Sousuke hadn't spoken to Makoto since they'd left the town. At first because they were running, but then because of the other reason. It was funny, you'd think that between the two of them Sousuke would be the one hit hardest by what they'd seen happen to Rin, but this had been going on for so long that he'd reached the point of numb acceptance. Once someone was gone, there was no getting them back. The best way he could honour his lost friends would be to make sure the rest of them stayed alive.

...Even if 'the rest of them' was starting to look like just him and Makoto.

He glanced over at Makoto, who'd finally stopped running. He stood there hunched over, with his hands on his knees, panting to himself. Though Sousuke suspected he was making a show out of it to avoid having to talk. Not that Sousuke would talk anyway. At least not until he thought Makoto was ready for it.

Makoto wasn't adjusting to this at all. As much as it was weird to think of the outbreak as something they had to adjust to. But there was no getting around it. They had to keep moving and not go back for those that they couldn't save. They could cry about it later, yes, but it was so hard to find a safe place to do that. Even now Sousuke was scanning his eyes across the mountain path for anyone who might jump out at them. They weren't safe here – there were too many places for the infected to hide and the trees only got thicker the further along the path they went. That was a risk they had to take anyway, but it wouldn't do them any favours to stop for too long. All the same, Sousuke didn't want to say that to Makoto.

“I know... what you're thinking...” Makoto said. His panting was forced; “But what's the point... if it's just us...?”

“The point is we're alive,” Sousuke bluntly replied.

“For how long?” muttered Makoto.

“Probably not very long, if you keep acting like this,” Sousuke said.

“How do you expect me to act? He ripped into him right before our eyes!” Makoto snapped. He stood up straight, all traces of his mostly faked fatigue gone now.

“And if we'd waited long enough then he would have gotten back up and come after us. We both know Rin wouldn't have wanted that,” dismissed Sousuke.

“He'd have wanted us to be safe...” Makoto murmured, looking as if he was finally coming to terms with it.

“Yeah. And we're going to be.”

With that, Sousuke started walking again. Soon enough he heard the sound of Makoto's footsteps behind him, which was the only small comfort he had right now. They could carry on talking as they moved, but Sousuke couldn't afford to take his eyes off the trail for too long. Especially considering it was getting dark now... Which was exactly why they'd originally planned to set out on this journey tomorrow. But plans change. Rin was with them when they'd made that plan. And now he wasn't...

“What's to say that Sano is going to be any different?” Makoto called after him.

“Nothing. But what other choice do we have?” Sousuke replied, without looking back, “If it's safe then we have time to warn people there, maybe get help if we can. And if it's not then we can try to find our friends at least and move on after that. My parents have a shop there, so hopefully we'll be able to take refuge for the night, if nothing else.”

“I hope your parents are all right...” Makoto replied.

As far as Sousuke had been able to figure out, Makoto's own family weren't all right. Even if he hadn't talked about it, their fate was written all over Makoto's face. And considering that Sousuke's main driving force at this point in time was to see if his family had made it, the idea of that not being the case for Makoto suddenly hit him hard.

He slowed down to match Makoto's pace, taking the opportunity to have a good look behind them as he did. Why didn't people evolve with eyes in the back of their heads? That would have made escaping during a zombie apocalypse so much easier.

“So do I. And Kisumi's there too, so maybe we'll find him,” said Sousuke, because he'd noticed that Makoto had raised an eyebrow at him when he'd slowed down.

“Yeah... I have a few friends in Sano. It'd be terrible to think that... they'd met with the same end as... as...” Makoto was losing his nerve. Sousuke slapped an encouraging hand on his back, which seemed to ground him enough for him to continue, “...Why did Rin have to come back to Iwatobi now of all times?”

“Because the universe hates him, I guess,” muttered Sousuke, “Still, if you look at it one way he was being eaten out by Haru in the end, so it probably wasn't all bad for him.”

Makoto gasped, “That's terrible! That's not even funny...”

Then, as he said it, he started to laugh. And Sousuke laughed, too. Which resulted in them walking up a treacherous mountain trail as two crazy people who didn't know if they'd live through the night, laughing about how a zombie who used to be their friend had brutally murdered their other friend. There was no going back at that point.

“...We're ruined, aren't we?” Makoto asked, still laughing as he did, “No matter what happens... we're still ruined.”

Sousuke looked up ahead, to a path filled with eerie darkness and possibly things worse than that, but definitely no shelter until they reached Sano. Suddenly it stopped seeming so funny, as much as he told himself it had to be.

“Yeah...” he said, “We are.”

He felt Makoto pull away from him, only to then reach across and put his hand into Sousuke's. He squeezed it firmly, which seemed to be reassuring for both of them. Then he nodded to Sousuke, as a silent thanks for not objecting to it.

“Then you're right that we need to pick up the pace. I'm sorry for slowing us down before. If we keep up like this then we'll make it by sunrise,” Makoto stated.

“Yeah, as long as we keep our eyes everywhere,” Sousuke added.

“Sounds good,” chimed Makoto. And there was something almost deranged about the way he said it. But honestly Sousuke would be more worried if he'd sounded normal at this point.

So the two of them kept on up the trail, watching the path in front of them and behind them, watching the trees on either side, and sometimes watching each other. Because each other was what they needed to have right now. They couldn't stop to think about what they'd lost. Too much despair lay that way. But with each other they could have a future and that was a bizarre concept that they both desperately needed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Sousuke and Makoto arrive in Sano they find that the situation there is much the same as it had been in Iwatobi. They take shelter in Sousuke's parent's shop and there they receive the first small glimmer of hope they've had for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a one-shot, but then I said the same thing about my 45-chapter-and-counting Professor Layton fanfic when I started that as well... But yes, I had more that I wanted to write about SouMako dealing a zombie apocalypse. Like the first chapter, the ones that follow will be more like snapshots of what's happening than fully detailed chapters, but I think it might work better that way. Hope you enjoy the ride!

As Sousuke sat looking out of the bedroom window, he wondered how exposed they were on the second floor. Downstairs was the shop front, which thankfully came equipped with sturdy, metal shutters. As a child Sousuke used to think that those shutters made his family home feel less like a house than the ones that he saw when he went to visit his friends. But right now he couldn't be more thankful for the protection they granted them from the outside world. Upstairs there were just glass windows. Sousuke wished that they'd bars installed on the outside, but it was too late to stress over that now.

They wouldn't be staying here for long anyway. He'd decided that, though he'd yet to tell Makoto or his mother. This place might provide them temporary safety, with the shutters acting as a shield against the outside and a supply of food from the shop that would last them a few months if they did want to stay. But Sano itself was not safe. They would eventually run out of food and if more of the infected had come into the town by that point then they'd just make it harder for themselves when they did need to leave. So it would be best to take what the needed from here, ready themselves and then move on.

Though as he looked over at Makoto and his mother, part of him doubted they would ever be ready. Which was something he couldn't blame them for. They'd both seen their loved ones hurt in ways that no one deserved to watch. Sousuke had too, but...

...No, there was no but. When he closed his eyes he still saw his father. The father who had looked after him when he was a child and raised him into a strong, capable young man. The same father who had become a danger to his family and friend, through no fault of his own, because of the infection. Sousuke would have nightmares about having to take him out with the family's trusty old axe probably for the rest of his life.

Nightmares were for when he slept, however. There was something inside Sousuke that accepted that while he was awake he needed to block it all out as best he could to protect those who were left. He was... good at doing this. Uncannily so. And as much as this was a trait that was proving helpful in the circumstances, he could still tell when he looked into the eyes of the other two that they were wondering about him. Wondering why he wasn't as shaken as they were. Maybe they were marvelling at him, maybe they were a little afraid of him. Whatever the reason was, Sousuke couldn't stand looking at those faces right now, which was why he'd chosen to sit at the window. Keeping watch was a convenient excuse.

Makoto and his mother had taken to each other almost instantly. They were both broad, tall and overly sensitive. Kindred spirits in every way. As soon as his mother had set eyes on Makoto it was as if she could just tell what he'd been through and in that moment she decided that he was now her family as well. They would look after each other because parts of their own families were now not there to look after. Probably more than parts, in Makoto's case...

They sat huddled together in the corner of the room. Sometimes they talked, but mostly they let the silent understanding flow between them. Sousuke could almost feel them look in his direction every now and then, but he didn't break his focus away from the window.

The streets had been empty for at least an hour. There were thankfully less infected in Sano than there had been in Iwatobi. But then again, he hadn't seen any survivors around either. Chances were that those who had avoided death had left the city a while ago and Sousuke hoped to soon be joining them.

It was as this thought ran through his head that he heard the last noise he expected – a beep from his phone.

Amongst everything that had happened, the phone had been far from his mind. He'd kept it with him out of habit, but he didn't expect it to be working any more. Even if it had been, he wouldn't have gotten any signal in the mountains and, well... there weren't many people left for him to call. His parents were older than most when they'd had him, so they were just at the tail-end of the generation that didn't understand mobile phones at all. His father had always been vaguely weary of them.

But it seemed that someone was trying to get in touch with Sousuke, assuming that the message wasn't a delayed one. He fumbled in his pocket for it while the other two watched. When he picked it up and read the message he then had every reason to hope the message was a recent one.

“It's from Kisumi...” he said. That made Makoto sit up alert, so he went on, “...Sounds like he doesn't expect to get a reply. This reads like a mass text he's sent to everyone in his contacts, which is a damn good idea, actually. You might get the same message as well, Makoto.”

“I didn't... have time to pick my phone up when I left the house,” replied Makoto. And he didn't need to explain that any further; “Anyway, I'm glad to hear it's him. Is he all right?”

“He says that him and Hayato are seeking shelter in Sano. Doesn't mention the rest of his family. I'm just sending him a reply now,” Sousuke answered. He watched the single bar of signal on his screen and willed the message to go through.

“You're telling them to come here, aren't you? I won't have those poor boys left exposed on the streets,” said his mother. The tone was that of an instruction more than a question.

“Yeah, they're coming here with us,” Sousuke confirmed, “But I don't like the idea of Kisumi wandering the streets with a kid to get here. Not while those things are lurking about. It's too exposed. So I'm going to meet them halfway.”

Makoto got up; “I'll come too-”

“-No, you won't. You'll stay here and look after my mother,” Sousuke growled.

Part of him expected Makoto to argue, but he didn't. Instead he lowered himself back down into the seat and nodded across at him.

“All right,” he said. Then he turned to Sousuke's mother and added, “I'll look after you, Mrs. Yamazaki.”

“That's very kind of you. But please, call me Mother,” Sousuke's mother replied.

“Of course... M-mother, thank you,” said Makoto. And even though he'd stuttered there was certainty to his voice. This was someone who Sousuke could trust with the safety of his last living relative.

“Don't be long, Sousuke. And don't put yourself at risk if you don't have to,” his mother instructed, as he headed towards the door.

“I'll try not to,” grumbled Sousuke.

As much as he didn't want to go against her word, Sousuke wasn't in the habit of making promises he couldn't keep. Out there he couldn't be sure if he or anyone else could be safe, but if he could help it he would return here with Kisumi and Hayato.

Nothing else was said as he left, which Sousuke was glad of. It wouldn't do to waste any more time. He headed downstairs and grabbed the key to the door from the hook, along with the axe, because he'd probably need it. After unlocking the door, he pressed the button on the fob to raise the shutters just high enough for him to duck out under them. He allowed himself a quick glance both ways down the street, saw that it was clear and then lowered the shutters again. The layered 'thunks' of the metal sheets hitting off each other as the shutters settled on the ground were satisfying to listen to – they meant that the two people left inside would be safe.

Then he was free to head off down the street, driven on by the need to find these two unexpected survivors and lead them back to the closet thing to safety he had to offer right now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two familiar faces have survived the infection, so Sousuke has set out to bring them back to the shop with him. Although before they can get back, Sousuke is given another sign that they're not safe to stay in Sano.

The last time he'd seen Kisumi had been before the Christmas just gone. His friend had been scolding him for being difficult to buy for, saying that if he didn't update his Amazon wishlist then he wasn't getting him anything. Sousuke had promised to update it later.

...He'd forgotten to do it and, true to his word, Kisumi had gotten him nothing for Christmas that year.

Right now, such frivolities were about as far away from either of their minds as they could get. Though if Sousuke could ask for any gift in the world then a shotgun would be high up there, not that he knew if Amazon would stock them.

He was having to make do with his axe, though he fancied himself that his aim was good. Getting so close to the infected wasn't the best choice, but he'd rather take them out now than have them follow him and the Shigino brothers back to the shop. Besides, there was only a handful of them, not like the swarms from Iwatobi. If he could get a few good swings at their necks then it'd be over soon.

Kisumi couldn't be of much help right now, since he needed to stay back and protect Hayato. But Sousuke would rather have them both out of the way than in the line of fire regardless. He could hear Hayato sobbing as he hacked away, which didn't help at all, but now wasn't the time for Sousuke to feel bad about what he was doing, so he blocked it out and continued.

Eventually the last one fell. It was a miracle he hadn't been bitten. As he stood there panting for breath, Kisumi approached, with Hayato close behind him. Kisumi walked over to the bodies, but Hayato stopped at Sousuke and stared up at him with wide eyes.

“...Thank you,” he whispered. Even after watching Sousuke hack these people apart and obviously being scared by it, Hayato was thankful. Something about that made Sousuke feel a little better about everything.

“You're welcome,” he replied. Then he looked over at Kisumi, “Do you know any of those people?”

“Yeah... This guy was in the same middle school as me. I think he was a few years older than I was,” Kisumi answered, nudging a brunette man with his foot, “...Never thought I'd see him again like this.”

“None of us were prepared for what's happened. Most of our friends from Iwatobi are gone,” Sousuke said, “Makoto's with me though. He's back at the shop with my mother.”

“I'm glad Makoto's okay...” mumbled Hayato.

“Noriko, too,” Kisumi agreed, “Though I take it your dad didn't make it...?”

“No, we had to... well, he's in the backyard now,” Sousuke said, “I'd like to get a chance to bury him before we leave, but I don't know if it'll be safe to do so. I think he'd rather we all moved on safely than put ourselves at risk for his sake.”

“So we're not staying at your house?” Kisumi checked.

“Not for longer than we need to. I want out of the city as soon as we can. It's best to move on and look for somewhere that isn't infected. And if we can't find anywhere like that then we'll be safer in the country anyway,” said Sousuke.

“Practical as always,” Kisumi sighed, “But all right. We'll be sticking with you, so if you go then we'll come with you.”

He was glad that Kisumi wasn't going to argue. His mother might not take it as well, but if he had at least one other person on his side then maybe she could be convinced. After all, no matter how many generations that shop had been in their family for, their lives would always be more important. Especially now that there were five people to look after.

Hayato had started to tug on his jacket, so Sousuke looked down at him and waited for him to gather up the courage to talk. Since Hayato had always been a nervous child, patience was the best approach for him.

“...My m-mama and papa g-got turned into zombies as w-well...” he said. It was the first time Sousuke had heard someone actually use the z-word, but there was no point avoiding it and kids were always straight to the point; “...I was in the h-house with them, but K-kisumi saved me b-before they could g-get me...”

“That's a good big brother you've got looking after you,” Sousuke praised. He reached down to ruffle Hayato's hair, “And don't worry, my mother and Makoto will look after you as well.”

“...Th-thanks...” Hayato whispered.

“Look at that,” Kisumi interrupted, “They've been coming down that way all afternoon. You guys must have got lucky missing them if you came from Iwatobi.”

Sousuke and Hayato looked in the direction he was pointing, which was off towards the mountain trail in the distance. Sure enough, scattered groups of the infected were heading down the path, as if to cement the fact that they weren't safe here.

“We walked during the night and got here early in the morning,” Sousuke replied, “It's funny, because we were originally going to leave in the morning when it was light, but I guess it worked out for the best that we didn't.” He looked back at the other two, who were still staring at the far-off zombies. Nothing good would come of hanging around here; “...Anyway, we should probably get a move on. I want to leave before Sano's crawling with them. More so than it is already.”

“You don't have to tell me twice,” hummed Kisumi.

Finally breaking his gaze away from the mountain, Kisumi walked over to Hayato and picked him up. He held him close to his chest and Hayato clung on, shivering all over. Sousuke couldn't blame either of them.

With a nod to Kisumi, he began to walk back towards the shop. It was a trek that they'd made ever since they were kids, back when they both used to hang out here, together with Rin. They could probably walk this route with their eyes closed, not that right now would be the time to try. At a few junctions Sousuke grunted to take a different route though. It might take them a bit longer, but Sousuke would rather stay where he had a good view of the road than risk taking a shortcut down a back alley and being caught by an infected person with little room to fight them. Kisumi seemed to understand and never questioned his judgement.

After what felt like an age they got back to the shop. As they approached, Sousuke briefly saw his mother's face in the upstairs window, then she disappeared. Before they'd even reached the door the shutters were raising. She must have grabbed the spare set of keys from the back.

“Kisumi, Hayato...! I'm so glad you're safe!” she called, rushing out to greet them.

“You too, Noriko!” Kisumi replied.

He put down Hayato and the two of them hugged her tightly. She had been a familiar face to them since they were both too young to remember, after all. Sousuke let them have this moment as he kept an eye on the streets. They seemed to be clear and by the time the three of them broke apart he looked across to see that Makoto was hovering in the doorway.

“Hi, you guys,” Makoto called, his voice sounded hoarse, “Let's get back inside so we can talk properly.”

No one objected to that notion. The four of them hurried back into the shop and his mother lowered the shutters behind them. Then she locked the door, because it never hurt to be extra careful. With that done, the five of them made their way upstairs, through to the living room. Perhaps having an upstairs living room would seem strange to some, but growing up with the shop downstairs, Sousuke had gotten used to it.

There were open containers of sandwiches from the shop spread out on the floor. The fresh food was the best choice to eat first anyway, Sousuke thought. They didn't know how much longer they'd have power for and those certainly wouldn't last if they took them with them on the road. It was better to eat these now and save the tinned food for later.

Hayato wasted no time in sitting down. Then he grabbed a container and tore it open to take out the sandwich inside. He ate feverishly as the other four talked.

“They were coming from Iwatobi down the same path we came from,” Sousuke told Makoto.

“Anyone... we knew?” Makoto asked, though he sounded as if he wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer.

“They weren't close enough for us to see. But even if there was, we can't think about that now,” said Sousuke.

“Y-yeah... I know. It's just all so hard to come to terms with...” mumbled Makoto.

“We'll manage,” Kisumi soothed, “I know how you feel. We... we came across Natsuya on the way back here and there was just... nothing we could do. But it had to be that way. I have to protect Hayato first.”

Makoto nodded; “He was an older brother himself, so he would have understood... I was an older brother too...”

Upon hearing that, Hayato put down his sandwich and came over to Makoto. He shyly climbed up onto his lap and Makoto pulled him into a hug. As he watched them both, Kisumi smiled.

From where Sousuke was sitting, it looked like Makoto still was a big brother after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they make to leave Sano, Sousuke has an idea that might help them. However, it involves looting the house of a dead person and his mother isn't exactly wild about that prospect.

They were finally leaving the shop and that in itself was a small miracle. As Sousuke had expected, the idea of leaving was not well-received by his mother. She'd argued that they were safer there than they would be anywhere else, with the shutters to protect them and a good supply of food. But Sousuke had insisted that the food wouldn't last forever and since more zombies (yes, he'd taken a leaf out of Hayato's book and stopped glossing over the word) seemed to be heading this way from Iwatobi they'd only be making it harder for themselves the longer they stayed.

His mother had eventually conceded, though not without muttering that the shop had been in their family for generations, which was something else that he'd expected to here from her. It wasn't that his mother was spiteful, she just placed a lot of value in tradition and to have that so forcibly uprooted wasn't easy for her. Sousuke told himself that whatever ancestors they had would probably value the family's continued existence over the shop anyway. Or at least he hoped they would...

So after gathering up a good selection of tinned foods, blankets and other things they might need, the five of them had set out. With one final look at the shop front, his mother lowered the shutters. She said there was no point in leaving the place exposed for if they ever did need to go back there and Sousuke wholeheartedly agreed with her.

Yet as they walked, it was only a few blocks away before the next source of conflict introduced itself and it had nothing to do with the zombies. A small house came into view and seeing it caused an idea to spark in Sousuke's mind, one that he knew his mother wouldn't approve of.

“What was that old lady called? The one who lived there,” Sousuke asked, with a gesture towards the house.

“You know, I don't remember. But I do remember what she used to be like when we were kids,” Kisumi replied, “We all used to duck under the fence when we ran past her house or else she'd come out and yell at us. And Rin used to yell right back, so we had to run away before she caught us. Heh, haven't thought about that in years.”

It was unusual for Kisumi not to recall someone's name, but then again, outside of their brief interactions with the grumpy women they hadn't really known her. And when his mother didn't join in to say who she was, it confirmed Sousuke's suspicions that she'd mostly kept to herself.

“I saw her wandering around when I went out to find you two the other day,” Sousuke informed Kisumi and Hayato, “She was infected.”

“That's such a shame...” Kisumi mumbled.

“It might not be a shame for us, since it means she's not using her house any more,” Sousuke pointed out.

“You are absolutely not looting an old woman's house,” his mother gasped, “I taught you more respect than that, Sousuke.”

“There was one time when we were kids that Rin got her so riled she said she was going in the back to get her gun. We... didn't stick around long enough to see the end of that. Even Rin was terrified,” Kisumi mused, as he clicked upon what Sousuke was getting at. Then he looked into the horrified face of Sousuke's mother and added, “Look, I'm not saying I like the idea of breaking in or anything, that's just what she said.”

“She was probably just saying it to scare you. Old ladies don't really keep guns around the house,” Makoto chimed in, though his laugh was awkward enough to suggest that he didn't believe what he was saying.

There was a pause in which all the attention was on Sousuke and his mother as they stared each other down. They were both good at staring - Rin used to joke that Sousuke had inherited his resting bitch face from his mother. But after about a minute his mother gave in and shook her head.

“I won't stop you, but I don't like it,” she muttered.

“Fine. I'll just go in an have a quick look,” Sousuke replied, “There's no point in sticking around too long if there's nothing.”

With that, he headed off down the garden path towards the front door, which was hanging open anyway. Hopefully that was because she'd left it that way and not because some other survivors had beaten them to rifling through this place. When Sousuke reached the house he was glad that none of the others had followed him, even if he suspected that was because they didn't want this crime hanging over their heads. Part of him felt that if the outbreak went on then they'd have to accept doing this eventually, but he wasn't going to be the one to preach at them. People needed to figure these matters out on their own.

He pushed the door open and walked inside, overwhelmed by the smell that greeted him. The poor old woman probably had no one to care for her and had spent years stumbling over herself just to get by. As a kid he'd been scared of her, but now he just felt bad that no one had bothered to help her out over the years, only for her to meet such a terrible end.

A quick look in the kitchen showed that the house had been looted, but only by animals. A stray cat hissed at him from where it was eating something pulled out of an over-turned bin. He left the cat to it and instead went to search more promising rooms.

The living room held nothing of use and neither did the closet. It wasn't until he got to the bedroom that he finally found what he'd been looking for. Because there it was, propped up against the wall next to her bed, as a testament to everything Sousuke had feared about this house when he was a kid – the shot gun.

It was old and clearly hadn't been serviced, but Sousuke figured that it was probably only there to give the women some comfort against the fear of burglars. Even so, some hunting around produced a box of rounds from a clothes drawer that suggested she wouldn't have been afraid to use it if need be.

With this bounty in hand, Sousuke quickly headed back out onto the streets, where the other four were waiting for him. A small gasp from Hayato made him believe that the old woman hadn't given up threatening kids who hung about outside her garden even as the years pressed on. He felt bad for confirming Hayato's worries, since if he'd been that age he'd probably have ran a mile upon seeing the shot gun, but he told himself that this would help them in the long run.

“I'm not using this,” he announced, when he'd joined them, “We have two weapons now, this and the axe. I'm getting good with the axe, so I want to keep with that so that no one else has to get close to them. With this you can have some distance from them. So who's having it?”

Kisumi all but backed away and although his mother stood her ground, it was clear from her expression that she would not take something he'd stolen from a dead person's house. To Sousuke's surprise, it was Makoto that stepped forward.

“I'll... take it,” he said, though he sounded hesitant, “I want to do my part to protect everyone.”

“Thank you,” Sousuke replied, and he truly meant it, “Just try not to waste too many rounds figuring it out, because I'm not sure if we'll find any more after this. When we find somewhere safe to stay I can spend some time with you trying to figure out aiming it while it's not loaded.”

“I'd appreciate that,” Makoto said, as he took the gun that was offered out to him.

All eyes were on Makoto right now and Sousuke could tell that he wasn't thankful for that fact. For the first time, Makoto took the lead as they walked on, probably to avoid having to look into faces that felt differently about him now that he was holding such a weapon. Sousuke himself even felt differently about Makoto right now, but not in a bad way. So he picked up his own pace to walk with him. Surely when the others saw that they would realise there was no point in doubting someone who wanted to protect them.

Though even if they kept a little behind, the others did come and that was the important part. He kept looking back over his shoulder to check on them, because he didn't want to put too much distance between the group, but he always found that they were there. Which was fortunate, because just far enough away for it to not yet be a problem, Sousuke could see a single zombie headed in the same direction as they were.

He told himself that it was nothing to worry about and the zombie would in time either change direction or give up following them. If it didn't then it could act as practise for Makoto's shooting and, should that fail, it would meet its end through Sousuke's axe.

With that small comfort, he decided that there was no point in bothering the others about the zombie just yet.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As they stop to rest for the night, Makoto comes to Sousuke to ask for advice about the shotgun. It would have gone well, if not for the approaching zombie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, there's actual Sousuke & Makoto interaction in this chapter of my SouMako fic. Sorry it took so long to get back to that.

Sousuke had to admit that he'd been dozing when Makoto came over to talk to him. It was settling into evening after a long day, with some pale light still hanging about the clouded sky. They'd used most of the day to put Sano behind them and were now quite far out in the country. Even though they'd travelled along the roadside, there'd been no cars pass them and no other survivors in sight. But on the plus side, any zombies they'd seen were far enough away to not bother them.

Which included the one that had been following their group since they'd left Sano...

He wasn't sure if he should tell them about it, because he didn't want to cause a panic. When they'd found a roadside bus shelter and agreed to rest there overnight, Sousuke volunteered to do the first guard shift, hoping that he could dispatch the approaching zombie before anyone else saw it and started to worry.

But the thing about zombies was that they were so damn slow. Sousuke had sat with his back resting against the bus shelter, staring out at the road, his eyes never leaving the figure in the distance, and yet it still didn't seem to be getting any closer. There was no doubt that it was headed towards them, but when it would get there was another matter entirely.

After sitting there for so long without doing anything, it was no surprise that Sousuke had started to drift off. Even so, when Makoto called out to him and he very clearly jolted awake, he felt disappointed in himself. The others were trusting their lives to him and he shouldn't let them down like this.

Though in his usual manner, Makoto waved it off and acted as if it was fine. He probably didn't really think it was fine though. Sousuke knew there was more going on in Makoto's head than what he ever voiced.

“How are the others doing?” Sousuke asked. He got up and stretched, willing himself awake.

“They're fine,” Makoto replied, “Hayato and your mother have already gone to sleep. Kisumi's awake, but I don't think he wants to leave Hayato's side right now, so I thought I'd come and check on you.”

“Everything's all right here,” said Sousuke, as he gestured around to the nothingness that surrounded them.

“Good. That's for the best. Actually... there was something else that I wanted to ask you,” Makoto said.

“Shoot,” Sousuke prompted.

“That's kind of the problem,” admitted Makoto, with one of his nervous chuckles, “This gun you gave me earlier, I just have no idea what to do with it. You said that you'd help me figure it out when we got settled somewhere and, well, here we are.”

“Sure, let's see what we can do,” Sousuke replied.

As he took the shotgun that Makoto offered out to him, Sousuke figured it was probably not a good idea to tell Makoto that he'd never used one of these either. His family had always been very handy people – if you can fix something yourself then there was no need to waste money on a new one, his father had always said. Because of that, Sousuke had grown up repairing his own toys whenever they broke, with better and worse results. Even when it hadn't gone so well though, Sousuke would keep at it until he eventually realised what he needed to do to get it right. His old childhood bicycle might not have been the best in the neighbourhood, but it had seen him through so many years (and a few scraped knees) thanks to his own repair work. With all that experience in D.I.Y. botching behind him, Sousuke felt that he could probably figure the gun out soon enough.

Though it would have been easier without Makoto staring at him curiously, taking in every way that Sousuke turned the gun about in his hands as if he might learn something for it. Then again, that was why he was here...

It wasn't loaded. Sousuke managed to figure that much out quickly enough. He'd had a feeling that was the case anyway, but he wanted to be sure before they practised firing it off anywhere. With that established Sousuke held it up and took aim, staring out into the field opposite their bus shelter.

“Shouldn't be too hard to work out,” he mumbled, “It'd be easier if we could practise directly, but I want to save the shells for stopping the infected or hunting for food. Maybe we could do some of that tomorrow morning, if we get up early enough, but it's getting too dark now for it to be worth the risk.”

Makoto was silent for a moment. Then he asked, “How do you think the others will take to hunting for food?”

“My mother won't mind. We used to do a lot of camping and she was keen on the idea of living off the land. Though we didn't actually kill anything ourselves,” Sousuke replied, “I'm not sure about Kisumi, he's always been a little squeamish. And Hayato... well, he's just a kid. He'll probably take it hard at first, but I find that kids adapt well and Hayato's smart.” He paused there, redirecting his focus to look at Makoto, “...But no matter how anyone feels, we have to do it.”

“I know that,” Makoto assured him, with a firm resolve. Sousuke's concerns hadn't been lost on him, “It's just a shame that the shells won't last forever. What do we do when we run out?”

“We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. By that time we might have found other people or a place to stay or even some other weapon to defend ourselves with. Heck, I wouldn't rule out finding more shells either, it's possible,” Sousuke answered. Then he passed the gun back to Makoto; “Why don't you give it a try? Best to see how your aim is now, while there's no risk.”

“Right...” Makoto murmured.

He gripped the gun and pointed it in the same direction that Sousuke had done, though it quickly became apparent that his hand was far too shaky. Maybe nerves were getting the better of him. As Sousuke watched, the end of the gun shook about like someone who'd fallen in a lake on a cold, January morning.

“It's no good...!” Makoto hissed.

His teeth were gritted and his brow was furrowed in determination. He was was tense. Far too tense for this.

“Relax,” Sousuke muttered, “If you're stressed then it's only going to make it harder.”

“I'm probably going to be pretty stressed when I'm pointing this at a zombie, you know?” Makoto snapped.

Sousuke stepped closer to him and took hold of his arms, forcing them into a steady position and then holding them there. He heard a little gasp of surprise from Makoto, but he didn't object. After a few pointed seconds of silence, Sousuke spoke again.

“You're not going to be using this against a zombie the first time, so don't worry about that,” he said, “I know hunting might be hard for you to stomach as well, but even if you mess up the first time it doesn't matter. We have enough canned food for the moment. So you can relax for now. I won't get mad at you if you use up a couple of shells figuring this out when we're hunting tomorrow, as long as I know that you're trying.”

“Right...” Makoto whispered again.

“For the moment, all you need to do is focus on that rock in the field. Block everything else out, just aim at the rock as if it's the only thing that matters,” Sousuke went on.

He stood with Makoto for a few moments, watching his eyes as he stared dead ahead. When his breathing started to steady, Sousuke let go of his arms and sure enough, Makoto's aim stayed true and didn't falter. Sousuke nodded in satisfaction.

“I think you're getting it,” he complimented.

“Thanks,” Makoto said, lowering the shotgun, “I guess we'll find out tomorrow. Do you want me to take over on lookout for now? You seemed pretty tired.”

“No, I'd rather-”

Damn. Sousuke had forgotten about the zombie. He whirled his head back towards the road and, sure enough, it had gotten closer. He'd have to deal with it soon.

“How long has that been there for?” Makoto checked, having seen what Sousuke was looking at.

“It's been following us since we left Sano,” confessed Sousuke, since he saw no point in lying, “I'd been hoping it'd stop after a while, but when it didn't I figured that I could deal with it before you all found out, so no one had to worry.”

Whether Makoto approved of that or not, he didn't say.

“Looks like it's close enough now that we could go out and stop it before it gets here,” Makoto said.

“Yeah, let's do that,” agreed Sousuke, “You go tell Kisumi where we're going, then come catch up with me.”

Makoto shook his head; “I want to go ahead first. Let me have this.”

It was against Sousuke's better judgement, but he saw the look of fire in Makoto's eyes and how he clutched onto the shotgun in his hands. So he nodded in approval, then turned to go back into the bus shelter.

Inside, Kisumi was still wide awake. Part of Sousuke suspected that he'd heard the conversation anyway, because he was quick to agree that this was fine and that he'd keep an eye on the other two until Sousuke and Makoto got back.

Their talk was short, but even so, when Sousuke got back out onto the road Makoto was already far ahead of him, having made great strides towards the zombie. Sousuke hurried after him, axe in hand, ready to deal with whatever damage came of this.

At least that was what he thought, up until Makoto abruptly stopped. Sousuke had been watching him the whole time, but this caught him by surprise. At first he thought maybe Makoto had deemed he was at an appropriate distance to take a shot from, even though it still seemed to Sousuke to be too far. But then Makoto's body started to shake even worse than it had been when they were practising just before. He stared dead ahead all the while. Was he overwhelmed by fear...?

Nothing good would come of this. Sousuke picked up his pace to catch up with him. But before he even got that far, Sousuke moved his gaze onto the approaching zombie that Makoto was staring at. Then suddenly the problem became clear.

It was Haru.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How do you solve a problem like Haruka? That isn't a question Sousuke knew how to answer even when Haru was alive. And now that he's undead, Sousuke finds himself stuck in the middle of a debate about Haru's continued existence.

“This is crazy! You can't actually be serious!” Kisumi yelled, his stared fixed upon Makoto.

“I am serious,” Makoto replied. He returned the glare with one of his own and it was obvious to Sousuke that he was trying to sound calmer than he actually felt.

Not for the first time, Sousuke wished that Rin was here. Rin was a natural born leader and even if he didn't know the answer in a situation he was able to rally people together to help them reach a decision. Rin knew how to handle arguments. It was a skill that Sousuke didn't possess. He'd seen and been involved in his fair share of conflicts, sure, but if someone disagreed with him then he'd never seen the point in wasting breath trying to convince them otherwise. Except in situations like this, you couldn't just walk away from the debate. They needed a leader to bring them to a decision and Sousuke had the terrible suspicion that role was going to fall to him.

Also not for the first time, Sousuke tried to stop himself from thinking that the reason Rin wasn't here with them was outside, tied to a tree some few yards away from the bus shelter they'd taken refuge in.

“Look, I understand that you two were close,” Kisumi said, jolting Sousuke back to the conversation, “Haru was my friend as well. I like Haru. But this isn't about Haru. That thing out there isn't Haru any more. And you need to... you have to see that, right?”

“He's not like the other infected,” Makoto insisted.

“He killed Rin! You told me he did!” Kisumi snapped.

“Yes, he did. I... know he did...” said Makoto. He swallowed hard before he continued, “But he's different now to back then. I don't know what changed or why, but something has changed. Once he reached us he just... stopped. He let us tie him up, he never tried to harm us – it wasn't like back in Iwatobi at all.”

“Maybe he's trying to lure us into a false sense of security,” Kisumi suggested.

“But they're not like that. At least not from what we've seen,” argued Makoto, “There has to be a reason why Haru's followed specifically us. And he has been following us, Sousuke told me so. There's something inside him that's still Haru, there has to be. And if we kill him then we're killing more than just an infected. Heck, maybe him being so different could help us learn about what's going on and if there's anything we can do about it.”

“I'm not trying to learn how to cure them, I'm trying to get out of here with my life and the lives of the few friends I have left,” Kisumi said, “Look, I'm sorry. If it was just us then maybe I'd be more willing to test out your theory, but I have Hayato to look out for and...”

At that point, Kisumi trailed off. A quick scan of the bus shelter from all of them was enough to make it clear that Hayato wasn't there any more. Once Kisumi realised that he turned and sped outside without a word, headed straight for the tree that Haru was tied to.

Sousuke followed, of course, and so did his mother and Makoto. Sure enough, they found Hayato sat there in the dried dirt that surrounded the tree, not two feet away from Haru. The two of them were watching each other in perfect silence, up until Kisumi grabbed Hayato from behind and pulled him away.

“Agghh...! Kisumi, stop it!”

“What do you think you're doing!” Kisumi spun Hayato around to face him, holding tightly onto his shoulders; “He could have bitten you or worse!”

But Hayato shook his head, eyes filled with the same defiance as Makoto's had been only minutes earlier.

“He won't do that,” Hayato replied, “He was just looking at the ground when I got here, but when I called his name he looked up at me, like he understood. Then he just watched me. He never tried to hurt me.”

Kisumi didn't seem to be taking in what Hayato was saying, instead tearing up badly and shaking all over. Then he rested his head on Hayato's shoulder, slackening his grip, but not moving his hands from where he'd been holding onto him. Kisumi was emotionally drained and Sousuke could hardly blame him.

“We can't do this,” Sousuke's mother stated. It was the first time she'd spoken up since the start of the debate. She looked at Makoto, her expression hard to read, before she went on, “I'm sorry. I don't know this Haru person, but you were clearly close to him. All the same, our situation is too dangerous for us to even consider your idea. We've all lost people to this, but I can tell you now that even if it was my husband tied to that tree instead of your friend that I still would not suggest doing what you want to do. And those two are the reason...” She pointed at Kisumi and Hayato, “...They are a family, they still have that left. And to bring a zombie with us would be a danger to that child.”

There was a long pause. Makoto took a few deep breaths, seeming to be trying to find his focus. What Sousuke's mother was saying made sense and he knew that, but Sousuke could tell that he wasn't going to back down from his side of the argument so easily.

“I understand what you're saying... I've been... selfish and I'm sorry for that, Kisumi... But I can't kill Haru. Nor can I watch someone else do it. I just can't...” he said.

“We don't have to kill him. If it's too hard for you then we could leave him tied to that tree. After all, you said he hasn't moved since you left him there,” Sousuke's mother replied.

Sousuke inwardly winced to that. There were times when his mother had even less tact than he did.

“He'd try to follow us again if we left, I just know it,” Makoto insisted, “Wouldn't that be just as cruel...?”

“It'd be risky. In time he might break through the rope or wear his skin away trying and then he could come after us again,” Sousuke's mother muttered.

She stopped to look at Haru as she said this and Sousuke couldn't help but do the same. Haru looked right back at them, even through his pupil-less eyes Sousuke could tell that he was watching. It certainly was enough to make you wonder if he could understand what they were saying, if he knew that they were talking about his fate and had no way to communicate back to them. If only there was some way for him to let them know that he was safe then this would be a whole lot easier, but there just wasn't. Whatever happened to Haru right now was entirely down to them and that was terrifying. Perhaps even more so than watching what had happened to the others. Because in those cases there'd been nothing anyone could do about it once they were bitten. But right now they were entirely morally responsible for Haru...

“We should take a vote,” Makoto said, “I know that it's pointless, I can tell how you all feel, but... it's the right thing to do, isn't it? At least then we can say that we decided as a group and went with the majority.”

“And what if we say to leave him behind...?” asked Kisumi, raising his head from Hayato's shoulder.

“Then I stay, too. You can take the shotgun, I wouldn't want to hinder your chances of survival further than I already have done, but there's just no way I can leave Haru when there's a chance he might still be in there,” Makoto replied.

In the pit of his stomach, Sousuke felt that he wanted to punch Makoto. It was frustrating that after they'd done so well in getting away so far that Haru was now making him act... so illogically. He wanted to see it from Makoto's perspective, he wanted to be sympathetic, but even if it was his best friend here instead of Makoto's he couldn't do what Makoto was planning on doing.

Out loud, Sousuke let none of those feelings be apparent, however. What he did instead was pull himself up to his full height and fold his arms.

“Then we vote,” he said, “Each of us in turn, until we know what we're doing.”

“I vote that Haru comes with us,” Makoto said instantly. He looked to the others, still trying to appeal to them, “He could stay further back with me while the rest of you walk ahead. That way you'd be at less risk.”

“My vote is that we leave him. Even if he does break free, hopefully we'll have put too much distance between us for him to follow by then,” Sousuke's mother said, not at all swayed by Makoto's words.

Kisumi faltered and didn't meet Makoto's eye; “...I have to vote that we leave him as well. Sorry, Makoto, but it's for Hayato's safety...”

“No, I want to take him with us! That's how I vote!” Hayato barked, suddenly.

“Hayato... I'm sorry, but you're too young to have a vote,” Kisumi soothed, “You don't know what you're saying.”

“But I'm saying what Makoto's saying and you let him vote,” insisted Hayato.

“Because Makoto's an adult,” Kisumi replied.

“No, we should let him vote,” said Sousuke's mother, to everyone's surprise, “Kids understand more than you give them credit for. We've let Sousuke make his own decisions since he was younger than Hayato and he's turned out fine.”

With that, Sousuke was painfully aware that the focus was shifted onto him. If they counted Hayato's vote then both sides were even and he was the tie-breaker. Which was the last position he wanted to be in. Honestly, he'd just assumed that the majority would go towards leaving Haru behind and once they'd decided that then he'd need to figure out what to do about Makoto.

Makoto who, right now, knew how this was going to go. If Hayato's vote had given him a tiny sliver of hope, then Sousuke having the final say on the matter snatched it away again. Sousuke watched as Makoto's head dropped towards the ground, resigned to what he knew was coming.

...And suddenly Sousuke couldn't stop himself from thinking back to the old lady's house, when he'd suggested taking the gun. None of them had wanted to, none of them were ready to accept that it might be for the best, but Makoto had stood up for Sousuke in the decision all the same. Then once they had the gun, it was Makoto who walked by Sousuke's side when no one else did. Maybe Makoto had his doubts, but he believed in Sousuke to do what was best.

Now was the worst time that Sousuke could return the favour.

“I vote that we take him with us,” Sousuke said. He tried to ignore the gasp from Kisumi and continued, “But we're not going to be stupid about this. Makoto and I will stay with him, since we're the least at risk. The rest of you will walk further ahead, so if anything does go wrong then you'll have a chance to get away. Kisumi, you'll have to take the gun from Makoto, so you have something to defend yourselves.”

“R-right...” Kisumi murmured, his face pale.

“At nights we'll tie him up away from us and take turns keeping an eye on him,” continued Sousuke, “If there are any changes, if he starts to seem more like himself or more like... a zombie, then we'll reassess what to do.” He stared at Makoto; “I'm not above killing him if needs be.”

Makoto's eyes were wide with shock. There were tears streaming down them, along with a glint of... gratitude?

“Th-thank you... s-so, so much...” he whispered.

“I wish I could say the same...” Kisumi sighed, though he didn't argue the point further.

With that, Sousuke walked away from them. He was overwhelmed, he felt like he'd made the wrong choice and regardless of if it was right or wrong, he'd definitely made their journey harder than it had been before. Haru was a walking risk and even if you ignored that, he'd slow their pace down to a dawdle. Why had he chosen to take him with them...? Was it because even if they had left him that there was the threat of Makoto staying behind as well? Or was it purely and simply because Makoto's helpless acceptance of his assumed fate had burned an unwanted hole into Sousuke's chest?

He went to sit behind a tree. One that was free from any zombies.

After not enough time, his mother came to sit with him.

“You didn't make that decision with your head,” she accused.

“I know,” Sousuke grunted.

“All the same, that is the decision you've made for us and I will follow you,” she assured, “I've raised you to know what you're doing and I trust you. So you need to stick by your choice and make us see that it was worth listening to you.”

“Thanks?” Sousuke replied. He put the emphasis on the question mark, so his mother would be able to tell that he was annoyed.

“Don't be so difficult,” she tutted.

“You didn't teach me how not to be difficult,” he snorted.

That made his mother laugh. He hadn't heard her laugh for a long time, even before all of this came about. As she reached over to kiss him on his forehead, he didn't object. And honestly he felt all the better for it.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the first full day of travelling with Haru following them, Sousuke has a brief heart-to-heart with Makoto.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to be moving onto writing a chapter for a different fic next, because I wanted all of my multi-chapters to have one new chapter for the start of the year. But what can I say? I got inspired to carry on with writing more of this after the last chapter.

Sousuke wasn't sure what had caused him to act in the way he had done. The one principal that he'd had to accept since the start of this was that he had to look at his actions objectively. With everyone constantly on the verge of panic, no good would come of him being the same way, so he needed to be ready for anything and, if he had time to do so, stop to analyse any situation before taking action.

But truthfully, that wasn't who Sousuke was. He acted with his heart more than his head when it came down to it. And so far all the decisions they'd made that he'd felt were logical – leaving the shop, taking the gun, going with a vote for what to do about Haru – had resulted in everyone becoming annoyed or at the very least unsettled.

The choice to take Haru with them was the one matter that stuck out like a sore thumb when it came to choosing with his head or his heart. It had been neither. Both head and heart were in agreement that the better choice would have been to leave him behind. Yet he'd voted the way he had done for Makoto. It would have been too much to carry on without Makoto or to expect Makoto to leave Haru entirely while he still had some hope there might be a trace of the living Haru left in there. Haru made Makoto act nonsensically and, as a knock-on effect, apparently Makoto was starting to make Sousuke act that way as well.

Except even if Makoto had “gotten his own way”, as his mother might have put it, in regards to Haru, that didn't mean it made him happy.

They'd had to walk a good distance away from the rest of the group all day, both for everyone's safety and because Haru couldn't walk at more than a snail's pace anyway. At least he did walk though. As soon as they'd made to leave the bus shelter, Haru had come to life again, pulling away from the tree until Sousuke had gone over to untie him. It was a sad sight. And all throughout their journey, Haru had done nothing more than walk passively with Makoto and Sousuke. Not that this had stopped Sousuke from keeping a tight grip on his axe, just in case.

Now that it was nightfall, they'd settled down against the back of a tall, rocky ledge at the side of the road, in the hope that it would reduce their risk of being caught from behind. Haru had been tied up some distance away, with Makoto taking first shift to watch him, and once again, Haru had settled. Yet still, no one was talking to anyone more than they had to. Sousuke, his mother and Kisumi all stayed silent, with Hayato looking worriedly between them all until sleep finally took him.

Sousuke was glad to get away from the tension when it had been his turn to take over guard duty from Makoto for the rest of the night. But that short period of relief had only lasted up until he'd reached Makoto, who he found crying steadily and... calmly? Could any kind of crying be described as calm? If so, then what Sousuke was seeing right now fitted the bill perfectly.

That had been when Sousuke had taken hold of Makoto, hugging him tightly. Which led up to where he was right now, wondering what he was doing. Another decision that had been made on impulse instead of analysis. Yet... Sousuke knew it was the right one.

Makoto had tensed at first. Honestly, Sousuke had no idea how much he was used to receiving affection from others. And even if he was, Sousuke wasn't like most of Makoto's friends. They still didn't know each other that well.

Part of Sousuke expected Makoto to tell him to let go, but after the moment of tense surprise had passed, Makoto put his arms around Sousuke to return the affection. His grip was tight, speaking more volume than the silent sobs. Makoto rested his head onto Sousuke's shoulder and stayed that way for several minutes, with Sousuke trying to understand what was going on in his stomach the whole while. Haru stared across at them indifferently from where he was tied, but Sousuke ignored him.

Then Makoto shifted his head to face towards Sousuke's ear and whispered, “...Thank you.”

As he pulled away, Sousuke begged the unwanted tensions inside of him to ease. He needed to be a steady pillar for the others to lean against, not battling butterflies like a confused high school student. Makoto wouldn't thank him for that.

“You're welcome,” he muttered, “Seems like you needed it.”

“I did...” Makoto agreed, with a nod, “I still feel like I've done the wrong thing... Everyone hates me, don't they?”

“No, they just want to be safe. That's all there is to it. If Haru can prove that he's just going to stay the way he is now or maybe even get better, then they'll come around in time,” reasoned Sousuke.

“Part of me wishes th-that... that he hadn't shown up...” Makoto admitted, “I was just starting to accept it all...”

“Life is full of things that you wish hadn't happened. The living part is how you deal with that,” said Sousuke, fully aware that he sounded like the grumpiest afternoon special that had ever aired. And it seemed that this wasn't what Makoto wanted to hear. He went silent for a long time and when it became apparent he wouldn't talk, Sousuke went on, “...I didn't keep my promise to you.”

“Hmm...?” Makoto prompted, distantly.

“I said I'd show you how to hunt this morning. It's now almost tomorrow morning and I still haven't,” he replied.

“Yeah... Though I think it's fair to say that we had enough distractions,” Makoto said.

“Even so, I want to keep to my word. Go back to the others, let them know we're going to be hanging around here for a while tomorrow morning so I can try to catch us something, then try to get some sleep. You'll need to be up again at first light,” instructed Sousuke.

“You're going to be exhausted if you stay up until morning and then go out hunting,” Makoto warned.

“Don't worry about me,” dismissed Sousuke.

There was hesitation from Makoto, but he knew there was no point in arguing; “All right then. And thank you. For this and for the hug.”

“Don't mention it,” Sousuke grumbled.

With that, Makoto left. Sousuke watched him walk all the way back to the others and then settle down amongst them, shuffling over to Sousuke's mother to talk with her. All Sousuke could hope was that the others would be reasonable towards him, because the last thing Makoto needed was to be shunned right now. But Sousuke knew inside himself that they were all reasonable people. This would all iron out. Somehow.

He looked across at Haru, who was also watching Makoto's journey, but made no attempt to move. Once Makoto had sat down, Haru settled again, lowering his head back to the ground.

“You're a pain,” Sousuke grunted, “And I'd just been starting to like you before all this zombie business.”

Haru raised his head again, this time looking at Sousuke with eyes that couldn't possibly see him.

“I'm not going to talk to you any more tonight, so don't get your hopes up,” Sousuke warned.

It was hard to tell how much Haru understood him, but after a few moments of continued silence from Sousuke, Haru's gaze fell back to the ground. Which was for the best, Sousuke felt. He didn't make any other attempts to attract Haru's attention for the rest of the night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke takes Makoto out to practise hunting, leaving the others to fend for themselves for a while. What they find could either be a blessing or a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up that this chapter has more violence in than any of the others so far. It's not a massive amount, but I thought it'd still be best to warn for it.

It was Kisumi who came to greet Sousuke just before dawn the next morning, not Makoto. As he approached, Sousuke noted that he wasn't carrying the gun. Which made sense, since they'd need it for hunting. Somehow Sousuke felt reluctant to leave his axe after travelling this long with it, but he knew that the others would have to have something to defend themselves with.

“We all agreed that I'm watching Haru while you two are away,” Kisumi called, once he was close enough, “Noriko's going to keep an eye on Hayato, so I'd be thankful if you could leave the axe with her.”

“What about you?” Sousuke asked.

“They're not far away if anything happens,” Kisumi replied, with a shrug, “I'd just feel better if our one weapon stayed with someone who was close to Hayato.”

“Makes sense. Hopefully we'll find another weapon soon enough, since just the axe and the shotgun isn't ideal,” said Sousuke.

“Yeah. So... what's Haru been like?” Kisumi said.

They both turned to look at Haru, who was staring at them now that they'd started talking. It was clear that this was making Kisumi uncomfortable, so Sousuke decided to put him out of his misery.

“He's basically been like that. From what I can tell, he responds to noise, that's why he's looking at us. If you don't talk then he'll just stare at the ground. Might be best to let him do that while I head off with Makoto, because he does seem to be keeping an eye on Makoto in particular and I don't want him trying to follow us,” said Sousuke.

“Okay, I'll stay quiet,” assured Kisumi, though they both know that wouldn't be easy for him, “Oh, and good luck waking up Makoto when you get over there. From my experiences, he's not a morning person.”

“You mean he's not even awake yet?” Sousuke grunted.

He shook his head and marched away without another word to Kisumi. Though he did hear Kisumi chuckle quietly as he left, so he assumed that, if nothing else, Kisumi was looking forward to a good show.

Sure enough, once he got over to rocks that the others were huddled against, Makoto was still sound asleep. His mother was awake, keeping watch over the sleeping Hayato. Sousuke passed her the axe and then shook Makoto's shoulder.

“...Mmnnhhh...?”

“Makoto. Get up.”

“...Nnnggg... go away...”

“We're going out to practise with the shotgun.”

“...Noooo... later...”

“If we leave it too long then all the animals will be gone.”

At this, Makoto rolled over to face him, his eyes open and staring out at Sousuke darkly. Every trace of the kind, pleasant Makoto that everyone always expected to see was entirely absent right now and Sousuke found himself dearly wishing that they'd brought coffee with them when they'd left the shop.

“...I'm awake,” Makoto muttered. It sounded in equal parts a statement and an accusation.

Sousuke gave him the space that he needed to get up, which had something to do with how nervous this new side he was seeing from Makoto made him feel. He caught sight of his mother smirking at him and scowled, knowing that he dare not look back towards Kisumi for fear of the same reaction. Meanwhile, Makoto pulled himself up, stretched and then tossed his head back and forward a few times, willing the sleep out of his system. When he spoke again, it was the sugar and sunshine that everyone was used to from Makoto. Only now Sousuke knew not to trust it.

“Right! Let's head out then, shall we?” Makoto chimed, with a clap of his hands.

“You need to keep quiet or you'll scare the animals away,” Sousuke stated.

With that, he walked off, expecting Makoto to follow. He didn't feel up to dealing with this sort of behaviour right now. Everything was complicated enough without also trying to work out the truth behind Tachibana Makoto. That was a subject Sousuke didn't know if he was equipped to tackle...

They walked through the trees, which was exactly what they'd been avoiding doing up until now, but it was the only way they were going to find anything, if they even had a chance to. Besides, they hadn't seen another zombie since Haru, so they might even be out of the danger zone until the infection spread further.

“Do you think that... animals might be infected?” Makoto whispered.

“I don't know,” Sousuke admitted, “If they're anything like how the infected people are then hopefully we'll be able to spot them out.”

That didn't feel like much of a comfort, either to Makoto or himself. There were so many questions to be asked in that regard, if Sousuke let his mind wander far enough. How exactly would an animal behave if they were infected? Humans had different limitations, so would an infected dog, for example, be able to move further and faster? If a migrating animal was infected then would the virus spread to other countries that way? And, more immediately important, if they ate the meat of an infected animal would it infect them? Sousuke didn't know the answer to any of these questions and they were troubling to think about.

Fortunately, it didn't take them very long of walking through the forest before they found something. A sika deer was wandering through the trees just ahead of them, currently unaware that it was being watched. Makoto tensed, but had the sense not to speak, which Sousuke was thankful for. Looking at the deer, Sousuke noted that it had blue tape around one of its antlers, which was... odd, but he didn't have time to question it.

He passed the gun wordlessly to Makoto, who looked at him with almost pleading eyes for a second, but Sousuke looked away again to get the shells from his pocket. By the time he turned back, Makoto's resolve seemed to have settled.

As Makoto fumbled to load the shotgun, precious seconds slipped away and Sousuke wondered if he was wasting time on purpose. But once he was ready, Makoto pointed the gun towards the deer, which was still wandering along at its own pace. His aim wasn't as shaky as Sousuke might have expected, possibly due to the brief lesson that Sousuke had given him before Haru came along.

They both held their breaths as Makoto pulled the trigger. The shot sailed out and the loud bang it produced caused several birds to take off above them. Then Makoto swore loudly. The deer darted away.

“It's fine, you did well,” Sousuke reasoned, putting a hand on Makoto's shoulder.

Makoto shrugged it away; “I missed! I wasted a shell...”

“If you're learning then it's not wasted,” Sousuke replied, “I told you that before. And I can tell that you tried. Let's just carry on.”

“Everything will be gone now, you heard how loud those birds were,” Makoto muttered.

Honestly, Sousuke didn't disagree with him, but he wanted to at least try to look for something else, so the two of them pressed on. They saw no more deer and although a boar ran by them, it was moving too quickly to be worth them trying to catch it.

After about an hour, Sousuke was going to suggest they give up and head back. But before he could, something caught Makoto's eye and he moved ahead of Sousuke. When Sousuke followed him, he quickly saw what it was. Not an animal, but a cottage, out here in the forest.

This was either a goldmine or a death sentence. There was no smoke coming from the chimney, the door was hanging open and there were no signs of recent activity anywhere. The walls on the outside of the cottage were lined with tools and Sousuke noted that there were rolls of coloured tape littered about – whoever was here had probably marked the deer they saw earlier. But it seemed that they weren't here now.

“This is great,” Makoto said, “There's going to be supplies here or at the very least shelter!”

“Yeah, but where are the people who lived here?” Sousuke muttered.

They looked at each other, the same dreaded fear settling upon them both, then they turned and ran from the clearing. It had been an hour since they'd left the others, but they'd been walking, so if they ran it would take less time to get back. Sousuke tried to reason with himself that if there were zombies about then they would have come across them before now, but then again zombies didn't seem to wander with purpose, except for Haru. So there was a chance that they just hadn't come across them until now.

He held onto that hope as they ran and ran and ran, until they got back to the road. They came out at a different place to where they'd left, but that didn't stop them. They kept moving, the rocks that Hayato and his mother had been resting against coming into sight. Only they weren't there now. And as the two of them drew level with the rocks, they saw why.

There were five zombies. Kisumi was closest to them and swinging the axe fruitlessly. It must have been given back to him by Sousuke's mother at some point, as she was currently trying to keep Hayato at enough of a distance away to be safe. Haru was pulling at the rope that held him to the tree.

“Leave them!” Sousuke yelled.

But his voice was drowned out by the sound of gunfire. A single shot soared through the air and landed in the shoulder of one zombie, the impact knocking it back. By the time Sousuke was looking over at Makoto, in a weird kind of admiration, Makoto was taking aim again.

“You need to get Kisumi away from them,” Makoto said.

There was no arguing with that. Sousuke headed off, going towards the others, while trying to stay out of the way of Makoto's line of fire. Thankfully his mother had the sense to pull Hayato into the side of the road, staying still but constantly looking behind her to make sure no others would sneak up from another direction.

Kisumi sprinted towards Sousuke as soon as he could and thrust the axe into his hands; “I'm sorry! I tried, but I can't do it!”

“Don't worry, just get to the others and we'll handle them,” Sousuke promised.

He turned towards the zombies to hack at the nearest one, an elderly man, but Sousuke tried not to think too much about that. Kisumi, however, did not run to Sousuke's mother and Hayato like Sousuke told him to, instead heading straight for Haru.

“What are you doing! Stop!” Sousuke yelled.

But Kisumi didn't stop. When he reached Haru he went over to the tree and untied the rope. Sousuke didn't have time to find out what he thought he was doing before Haru pulled away, moving with intent.

He came towards the three zombies that were still standing and opened his mouth. To say the sound that came out of it was inhuman wouldn't have been accurate. It was human and to some extent it still sounded like Haru, if he'd punctured his lungs, which... was entirely possible. But at the same time it was hollow and it was loud. Sousuke had never heard a noise like that come from a zombie up until now. They did make noises, grunting and murmuring as they moved about, but nothing like the bellow that came from Haru.

The three standing zombies backed away, stunned by him. Their reaction was enough for Makoto to shoot at one and hit it clean through the head. That prompted Sousuke to follow his example, swinging his axe at one of the other stunned zombies.

Haru walked methodically forward, towards the one that Makoto had shot in the shoulder earlier, who was now getting up again. When Haru descended upon him he went straight for the neck, seemingly trying to bite through to the bone.

There was one zombie still standing now, retreating from Haru's cry. She would leave them if left to her own means, but after that they'd have no idea how long it might be before she came back, so Sousuke knew that they had to deal with her now. He ran for her, snapping the axe through her side to stop her and then hacking away when she fell.

By the time he'd finished, he turned back to find Haru standing up from the corpse of his victim, blood dripping from his mouth. He looked right at Sousuke, but otherwise didn't move.

“Are they all down?” Makoto called, walking towards them.

“Looks like it,” Sousuke replied, “But I'm not taking any chances. We'll build a bonfire to get rid of the bodies. Then we can check out the cottage.”

“Cottage?” said Kisumi, as he came to join them as well.

“We found one in the forest,” Makoto replied, “It was probably where these people lived. Maybe we could stay there for a while, but we'll have to see.”

“That's one good thing at least. So, what are we going to do about Haru...?” said Kisumi.

“We'll have to tie him back up,” Sousuke insisted, “I know that he helped us, but he's still too much of a risk. What you did was too much of a risk, Kisumi.”

Kisumi looked away; “I'm sorry...”

“It all worked out okay,” Makoto soothed, “I'll... go get Haru's rope.”

He walked away, over to the stationary Haru. When he picked up the end of the rope, Haru let himself be led back to the tree without objection. Once again, Sousuke found himself wondering what was going on with him.

“Thank you!” Hayato called after Haru and Makoto. It made Sousuke jump. He hadn't forgotten that they were there, but he'd put them out of his mind while he dealt with the problem at hand. Once Hayato got over to them, he beamed up at Kisumi and said, “I told you it was a good idea to bring him with us. And I knew you trusted him!”

“Hayato, please... not now,” Kisumi sighed, “Thank you for looking after him, Noriko.”

“You don't need to thank me, I didn't do anything,” Sousuke's mother claimed.

“You stayed back and that was more than some people did,” replied Sousuke, “Anyway, while we were out we found somewhere that we might be able to stay. So we can go there once we're done disposing of the bodies.”

“That's good. How did the hunting go, by the way?” his mother asked, “I see you don't have any animals with you.”

Sousuke shook his head; “The glass is always half empty with you, isn't it?”

“More like two-thirds empty,” laughed his mother.

But regardless of the state of the glass, Sousuke knew that they'd made progress today. They might have found somewhere to help them and Haru had proven himself to be... something. Sousuke didn't know what yet, but he wanted to believe that he could trust him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While they watch the bonfire, Sousuke talks to his mother about Rin and also about what he hopes will come of the cottage.

As the smoke from the fire billowed up into the sky, Sousuke wondered if it would attract attention. Not from zombies, although that was also a possibility, but from anyone passing through, like a search team. It was nice to dream. Maybe once they were finally settled somewhere they could put more thought into how to gain the notice of anyone who might help them.

It was just him and his mother right now, watching the bodies burn like observers to the most sadistic bonfire. That almost would be the true, but neither of them were getting any enjoyment out of the sight.

Everyone had insisted that Hayato not be around for this, even though he'd kept saying that he could manage. It dawned on Sousuke in that moment that this was now the world Hayato would potentially grow up in. On one hand, it was better for his survival that he accepted this early. But on the other hand, what sort of poor, jaded person would Hayato become growing up like this?

So Kisumi had taken Hayato away for a while, further down the winding road to somewhere that they couldn't see what was happening. This time he'd taken the shotgun. It seemed that Kisumi had changed his attitude towards it after discovering how badly he faired with the axe.

Makoto had stayed around long enough to help Sousuke and his mother load the bodies onto the bonfire, but to neither of their surprise, he'd left soon after the fire had started to blaze. It was too hard for him to watch. And it wouldn't take him long to reach Kisumi and Hayato, so he didn't take the axe with him when he left. That remained sat on Sousuke's lap like his prized possession.

Several minutes passed in silence before Sousuke's mother spoke up.

“You can go after your friends, I'll be fine here,” she said.

Sousuke snorted; “You say that like I'm seven years old and we're going to the park. No, I'm not leaving you alone with this.”

“I'm not alone, I have company,” his mother replied.

She humourlessly gestured towards Haru, who was tied to a tree, a little distance from the bonfire. For once, he wasn't watching them, despite their talking. What he was watching was the fire, perhaps due to the crackling noise it made.

“He makes everything awkward, doesn't he?” Sousuke said, feeling that he could talk more openly about his feelings on the situation when it was just the two of them.

“Certainly. But he did help us before. Perhaps I'm still not convinced that taking him with us was the best idea, but I'm starting to think that it might work out,” his mother replied. Then after a pause, she added, “I don't know him though. I can tell that he's close to that Makoto, but was he a friend of yours?”

Sousuke looked at Haru for a long moment and then replied, “...Yeah. We didn't know each other that well, but I'd call him a friend. Probably should have said it to his face before all this came about as well.”

“If you start regretting things you never said then you'll keep on doing it forever,” warned his mother, “Don't go down that path.”

Sousuke nodded. He knew that she was right, but that didn't stop his traitorous mind from doing just that. So he stared out at the fire, pretending that he was checking on the progress of the burning bodies. Though as expected, his mother could tell that he had more to say on this matter and stayed quiet until he was ready.

Might as well get it over with.

“He wasn't even back in the country for that much longer. If this damn infection had held off for a few more weeks then Rin would've been safely back in Australia,” he said.

“What makes you think Australia is safe?” his mother asked.

“I don't know if it is, but even the possibility of safety is an improvement to here,” Sousuke muttered, “And I feel even worse because... at first I was glad that he was there with us. Before he got infected, I mean. It was a shit show-” he flinched as his mother glared at him, “...Sorry, I mean, it was awful, but Rin took control like he always does. He was probably just as scared as the rest of us, I didn't dare ask him, but even so he acted like he would get us all out of there safely. He was so confident... We need that.”

“We need to work with what we have,” argued his mother, “I don't mean to be harsh about it, but no amount of wishing Rin was here will change his fate. And if he could see how you're acting right now then he would scold you.”

Sousuke gave a hollow chuckle; “He's always been like that... The amount of fights that his mouth would get us into when we were kids. But he always got us out of them as well.”

“You don't need to tell me that. Who do you think bandaged your cuts and kissed your bruises better?” his mother replied.

“I know, I know... And I'm... glad you're still here,” said Sousuke.

“Even if there are only a few of us, you should be glad of everyone who's still here,” reasoned his mother, “Kisumi has been your friend for a long time as well and Hayato has a lot of life ahead of him. Plus, you're obviously fond of that Makoto.”

“I didn't know him that well before this and, honestly, I still feel like I don't,” Sousuke stated.

“Yes, but I said you were fond of him, not that you knew him well,” his mother corrected.

“Maybe if we ever get somewhere safe I can stop to think about that, but not right now,” dismissed Sousuke, “And speaking of that, I wanted to check out that cottage again once this is done. We can't know for sure what use it'll be to us until we have a proper look around it.”

“Do you think we'll stay there?” his mother asked.

“I don't know. But if it turns out all right then part of me would like to. The idea had been to keep going until we find some people who haven't been infected, but so far it seems to be one step ahead of us as we're travelling. What if we go from town to town just to find the same story in each of them? If that was the case then we'd regret having passed up somewhere that could have been safe. The country is always going to be less risky, since there aren't as many people,” Sousuke answered.

“That sounds like good reasoning to me,” agreed his mother, “I was... hesitant to leave the shop at first, but now that we're out here I can see that it's perhaps safer than back home.”

“Do you think the others will agree?” Sousuke checked.

“I think they're all quietly fed up with travelling, even if it hasn't been that long,” his mother replied, “If you give them a place to stay then they probably won't need that much convincing.”

“Let's hope not. Though it does depend on the state of the cottage to start with,” said Sousuke, “But even if it does end up being worthless, if we find another place in future then we should think about settling. Let help come to us.”

As his mother nodded in agreement, they both seemed to realise that they'd reached the end of the conversation and had said everything they felt that they could say for now. So to pass the time, they instead watched the fire and the horrible scene that unfolded within it.

Even if his mother had told him not to dwell on what was gone, Sousuke couldn't help it. He knew that in the midst of protecting the others he had to disconnect from the people he was... essentially murdering, but in a quiet moment like this it all caught up with him. Those five people in front of him were probably a family, living off the forest and not bothering anyone. They probably didn't even know about the infection until it was already too late. As for everyone they'd left behind, well... they were all people they knew, which made it even worse. The old lady from Sano who no one ever bothered to help when she was around, but they'd helped themselves to her shotgun when she was gone. That guy who Makoto and Kisumi had said they'd gone to middle school with – Sousuke had taken him down without even knowing any of that. And back in Iwatobi it was even worse. The image of Rin being eaten alive by Haru was forever burned into Sousuke's memories, but it was even more than just Rin... When they'd first met up, Makoto had told them that it was already too late for Rei and Nagisa, he'd found them infected and had to leave them. They'd headed quickly to Samezuka only to find that the same was true of Nitori, Momo and Momo's brother, whose name slipped Sousuke's mind, but who must have been there visiting. A family visit to have ended in such a way... Speaking of family, Rin refused to talk about Gou, no matter how desperately Sousuke wanted to ask about her safety. It was clear from his silence what had happened.

All those people... It was an entire community's worth of friends that Sousuke had known and even people he didn't. They could have all lived their lives and grown up looking after each other in little ways and now they just... can't.

He didn't realise he was crying until his mother pulled him close. But realising it didn't make him stop. Instead he put his arms around her and cried softly into her shoulder and all the while she hummed a lullaby he remembered from his childhood.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group have gone to inspect the cottage in the forest, but while they're doing this, Makoto wanders off. When Sousuke realises, he heads out to find him.

“This looks good,” Kisumi said, as he came out of a shed attached to the side of the cottage.

It wasn't the first time he'd said those words. In fact, he'd been saying them over and over, probably without realising it, since they'd arrived to check out the cottage. Sousuke tried not to get too annoyed by it though, because he could read between the lines – Kisumi wanted a safe place to settle. Or at least, as safe as they could get, given the situation.

They all shared that sentiment, Sousuke felt. But regardless of how eager they were, they had to be thorough about it. Should they decide that this place was good enough, only for something they'd overlooked to cost them later, then the consequences could be dire.

He stared up at the thatched roof and frowned.

“Looks like it could do with some repairs,” he muttered.

“We can do that,” his mother said, “A bit of hard work never killed anyone. I can understand why you're cautious, but I can tell this house is built on strong foundations and that's what's important. Anything else we can repair ourselves.”

Sousuke grunted, “Just so long as we do it sooner rather than later. There could be more of them around than just that family and we don't know if animals can be infected yet.”

“Yeah, but it's not like we've seen any zombie deer or anything. If they could get infected then you'd think we'd have come across something by now, given how far through the mountains we've gone,” Kisumi replied. He paused for a moment and then added, “Speaking of deer, has anyone seen Makoto?”

Although Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him for such a comparison, it was his mother who replied.

“He headed out into the woods a little while ago. Said he was scouting the area. I told him not to go too far,” she said, “You should go check on him, Sousuke.”

“Yeah, he's been distant since the bonfire,” Kisumi agreed, “He told me everything was fine, but sometimes it's hard to tell with Makoto.”

“I'll talk to him,” Sousuke said, though he wasn't at all sure what he was going to say or why his mother felt that it was best for him to go. He checked that his axe was at his side, not feeling so bad for taking it with him now that they'd found plenty of tools at the cottage that the others could use to defend themselves. Before he turned away, he added, “Keeping looking around this place while I'm gone. I want us to know about every broken window or squeaky floorboard before we make a decision.”

“Then can we stay?” Hayato called. He'd been sat on the porch, listening to them talk.

“We'll see, but I hope so,” replied Sousuke.

It wouldn't do to build Hayato's hopes up, but Sousuke didn't want to let him down either. If they were going to stay anywhere then the cottage wouldn't be the worst place they could pick. The forest surrounding it meant that there'd be plenty for them to hunt and enough cover for them to do so. Though on the other hand, it also meant that any potential threats would have an easy time sneaking up on them, too...

The trees were certainly doing a good job of hiding Makoto, as Sousuke wandered for a good ten minutes without finding him. He assumed that if he'd been going the wrong way then his mother would have stopped him, so it must have been that Makoto had wandered off the beaten path. In so far as there even was a beaten path through the forest. It was faint, but Sousuke noticed the tracks that the family probably used when they were travelling around.

He scanned around the area and just in the distance he saw a mop of brown spikes that must have been the back of Makoto's head. He was crouched down close to the ground, so it was hard to spot him.

A wave of fear ran through Sousuke.

If Makoto had been- ...if one of them had got him, then it would most likely already be too late. Sousuke had seen them crouched over bodies before, eating the insides of those who weren't able to get up. He didn't want to think that was what Makoto was doing, he didn't, but he had to be careful.

So he crept over as quietly as possible. Makoto stayed still all the while, which did nothing to ebb Sousuke's worry. When he reached him, Sousuke held out a less-than-steady hand and tapped Makoto on the shoulder.

“Shit!”

Makoto whirled around, shoving the shotgun into Sousuke's face. Sousuke stumbled back and fell to the ground, at which point Makoto realised it was just him and lowered the gun, although it didn't stop him from feeling angry.

“What do you think you're doing, sneaking up on me like that?” he demanded.

“I was worried that you might be infected...” admitted Sousuke, as he pulled himself up and dusted his trousers off, “If you were, then I wanted to be able to run.”

“If I had been then I'd hope you'd cut my head off before you left, instead of leaving me wandering around,” Makoto replied.

Sousuke couldn't answer that one, so he pressed on, “What were you doing down there like that anyway?”

“I was... practising...” Makoto mumbled. He looked sheepishly down at the gun, “I need to be able to do this right for everyone's sake. And I thought that if I could keep very still then it'd help next time something comes along. I'm convinced that deer got away because it could sense my fear.”

“No, it got away because your aim wasn't right. But practising keeping still is never a bad thing either,” said Sousuke.

Makoto chuckled, “Don't worry about sparing my feelings.”

“I won't. But it's not as if your aim is terrible either. You did a good job against those zombies,” Sousuke reasoned.

“Yeah, because I had no choice. If I messed up there then people could have died. But maybe that means I don't take hunting as seriously as I took that...” said Makoto.

“You're out here doing this when no one told you to, so I think you're taking it seriously enough,” Sousuke said.

“Okay, I guess you're right...” Makoto murmured. He looked away from the gun and up at Sousuke, “I appreciate you being so direct about everything. It helps keep us all grounded, I think.”

“It's not easy,” Sousuke confessed, “But we need it, don't we? If we don't keep rational heads then we might be dead before morning.”

“I'd hope there's not that much risk out here, but I see what you mean. Anyway, should we get back to the others now?” asked Makoto.

“Might as well. They're still checking out the cottage. Kisumi seems pretty determined to stay there no matter what, but even my mother thinks that its in decent shape and her judgement's usually quite good. We maybe didn't see the best of it back in Sano, but I trust her to make the right choice when it comes to something like this,” replied Sousuke. Then he turned back the way he'd came and gestured for Makoto to follow.

“It's easy to see that this situation doesn't bring out the best in most people. But I know that everyone here is just trying to do what they think is right. With your mother, she didn't want to leave a secure house with food and shutters, even if staying in Sano was too dangerous. And with Kisumi, he's so desperate to find a safe place for Hayato to stay that he might be quick to make a rash choice sometimes,” Makoto mused. Then after a pause, he added, “...With me, I couldn't bring myself to leave Haru.”

“That hasn't been the worst choice so far,” Sousuke stated, though he didn't add anything else on the matter.

“Maybe not... but even so, I admire you for staying so rational. Every choice you've made has been with our safety in mind. I wish I could be more like you,” Makoto sighed.

Believe me, you don't,” snorted Sousuke.

“Come on, don't be like that-”

“-Heeey, you guys! There you are!”

If Makoto had been hoping to practise any actual hunting while he was out today then that opportunity was snatched away by Kisumi's loud yell. And Sousuke irritably thought to himself that it also would have alerted and zombies to their location, but he did want to believe that they were safe on that front for the moment.

“Sorry, I didn't think we'd been gone that long,” Makoto called, as Kisumi rushed over to them.

“Don't worry, you haven't,” assured Kisumi. His face was red from running, but he looked pleased about something, “You've got to come see what we found just close to the cottage though, you're not going to believe this!”

He tugged on Makoto's sleeve, though it didn't take much to convince him to follow them. Kisumi's positivity was infectious and it felt like so long since Sousuke had seen him this happy. It was almost as if, for a moment, they could be normal again. Just a bunch of friends on a cross-country trip through the mountains...

As Sousuke followed, he decided that so long as Kisumi hadn't found that any more of the infected had done a Haru and followed them then whatever it was couldn't be all that bad.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group falls into the mistaken belief that they have a moment to relax, but it doesn't take long before they get a reminder of exactly how dire their situation is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my birthday, so this chapter has more nudity in it than any of the others so far.

Sousuke was trying his best to look grumpy, even though he had to admit that this was easily the most relaxed he'd felt since before the outbreak. There'd been a bath back at the shop, of course, but the heater hadn't worked properly for years, to the point that Sousuke had almost forgotten what a proper soak in decent warm water was like. It was good that Kisumi and the others had found a hot spring, even if Sousuke wished that it didn't also result in Kisumi dropping all sense of caution.

“Come on, this is nice, right? You have to agree this is nice,” Kisumi whined. He elbowed Sousuke, who merely grunted at him.

“You can tell the family used this place a lot. There's buckets and towels lying around everywhere,” Makoto commented.

“They can't have been very tidy then...” mumbled Sousuke.

“Well, I hate to put it like this, but their loss is our gain,” dismissed Kisumi.

“We could be bathing in infected water right now,” Sousuke pointed out.

“Would the hot springs boil it out?” asked Makoto. From the look on Kisumi's face, he was about as unsure of the answer to that question as Sousuke was.

“It's not like we're going to drink it,” said Kisumi, “We'll still boil anything up before we do that. Don't want to take too many chances.”

“This whole place is a big chance,” Sousuke reminded him.

“You keep talking like you don't want to be here,” said Kisumi, “Look, I get it. But this is the best option we've got.”

“And I just want to be certain that it is before we settle, that's all,” insisted Sousuke.

“Hey, we should get a move on so that your mother and Hayato can have a turn,” Makoto prompted, though it was obviously more an attempt to defuse the potential argument between Sousuke and Kisumi than anything else.

Sousuke's mother had said that the three of them should have the first dip in the hot springs, since they'd all worked so hard since they left Sano. Meanwhile, she would go further into the forest with Hayato to collect some firewood for later that evening, which was a big part of the reason why Sousuke was on edge. He didn't trust the forest at all. Though it seemed that Kisumi now did. Or he trusted Sousuke's mother to look after Hayato for a while at the very least.

They weren't sure when she'd be back and, despite Makoto saying they should get a move on, the warmth of the springs was pleasant. None of them were in that much of a hurry to get out of it before they had to. Even Sousuke had to surrender his stubbornness to admit to himself this was nice. He didn't tell Kisumi as such, but when he slumped down and closed his eyes it must have been obvious.

“Aww, look at him,” Kisumi teased.

“I'm awake,” warned Sousuke.

“Doesn't mean we can't marvel at how cute you are,” Kisumi went on.

“I'm not marvelling!” Makoto hastily promised, his voice suddenly high with nerves.

Sousuke opened one eye and frowned across at them; “Makoto can look, if he wants to.”

“That's not fair! How come Makoto gets to-”

But Kisumi's protest was silenced by a sudden scream from back towards the cottage. Or at least, it might have been a scream. It had an inhuman quality to it, but not in the same way that Haru's cry from the zombie attack had, so it can't have been him.

Whatever it was, Sousuke didn't plan on sitting around to ponder over it. He was already climbing out of the water by the time the second scream came. Then the third. After that they were constant, but the longer they went on, Sousuke realised that they sounded more like squeals than screams.

“They went the other way, didn't they? They're not at the cottage?” Makoto checked, as he and Kisumi joined Sousuke's example and climbed out.

“Guess we'll find out,” said Sousuke.

He grabbed his axe from where he'd left it and hurried off back towards the cottage. Behind him, he heard Makoto calling out that they should get towels first, but as far as Sousuke was concerned, saving whatever was making that noise, if they could, was more important than decency. Some things took priority over others in a zombie apocalypse.

Though by the time he got back to the cottage, the chill of being out of the water had caught up to him and he did regret not waiting a little longer. But then he looked towards the source of the noise and suddenly all other thoughts left his head...

“Haru...” Makoto whimpered, as he and Kisumi caught up with the stunned Sousuke.

The sight before them was a mess. Not the worst one they'd seen during the outbreak by a long shot, but still deeply unsettling. The boar wasn't even dead yet, it continued to squeal as Haru bit into it again, but the sound was much weaker now than the frantic cries from before. It must have accepted its fate. What a way to go...

Next to Sousuke, Makoto covered his mouth. Strangely enough, it seemed to be Kisumi who was taking this the best out of all of them. He cautiously approached Haru, though he still kept enough of a distance away that he wasn't in the range of Haru's rope. Not that it mattered, since Haru ignored him entirely and carried on with the boar.

“How did he even get it?” Kisumi wondered.

“He can stay as still as he wants when he's not trying to follow us,” Sousuke pointed out, “Maybe you could get some hunting lessons from him, Makoto.”

“That's not funny,” Makoto muttered from behind his fingers.

“No, it's not. Because that boar could be infected now,” Sousuke said, “We could all be in danger.”

“I reckon he's going to finish it off before it can come back,” said Kisumi, “There isn't much of it left.”

“Its head's still attached to its body. That's all they need,” Sousuke replied.

There was a sickening crack. As if to spite Sousuke, Haru had snapped the boar's neck in his mouth. That put an end to the squealing, at least...

“Are you... trying to protect us, Haru...?” Makoto whispered. His voice was unsteady and when Sousuke looked over at him, he saw there were tears streaming down his cheeks, dripping onto the hands that still covered his face.

“Just don't leave anything that could come back,” Sousuke warned Haru, “We've given you our trust this far.”

He didn't even know if he believed that Haru could understand them. It was a possibility and there must be something going on in his head for him to have followed Makoto so far, but all the same, he was still infected. If he actually cared about them and had the will to do so, then it was only right that he tried not to put them at risk.

“We... we sh-should go get dressed...” Makoto said. He finally moved his hands, but only to wipe away the tears; “It's freezing out here now a-and... the others don't n-need to... to see us like this...”

Without waiting for Sousuke and Kisumi, Makoto turned to leave. He couldn't stay with Haru right now and Sousuke knew that. If it had been Rin there... well, Sousuke wasn't sure how he'd react. As Makoto walked away, Sousuke followed him. It didn't take long to catch up and when he did, he put an arm around Makoto's shoulder, pulling him close. He was bitter cold, they both were, but keeping close together helped.

When he looked back over his shoulder, he saw that Kisumi was knelt down near to Haru now, within the range of the rope. Sousuke couldn't fathom what must have been going through Kisumi's head any more than he could do Makoto's...


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After an unsuccessful day of hunting, Sousuke and Makoto find themselves back out on the road through the mountain for the first time in weeks. There they learn that they might not be the only survivors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic on AO3 to reach over 1,000 views, so I just wanted to thank everyone who's read this story and any of the others I've posted here. I haven't been on AO3 very long, but I've certainly felt welcome here in that short time and it especially makes me happy that people seem to be enjoying my first baby-steps into the world of zombie AUs.

It was getting dark now, too dark for them to catch anything, and yet Makoto trudged on. Sousuke didn't bother to stop him, because he knew that this was a matter of pride. Although maybe that made it all the worse that it was going to be fruitless. They'd walk for a while more, eventually Makoto would conclude that they weren't going to find any more animals and then they'd head back to the cottage, if Sousuke's predictions were accurate. At least they still had enough food from yesterday to keep them going tonight and, given how late it seemed to be, Sousuke had no doubt that the other three would have started cooking already. He'd rather they kept themselves fed than wait for him anyway and Makoto probably felt the same.

They had decided to stay at the cottage in the end. Sousuke still wasn't sure about it, but he did agree that it might be there best option for the moment and in the weeks that followed this decision there had been no further upsets. Haru remained the only zombie that they saw and any animals they came across had been fine, which was making Sousuke believe that the infection only harmed humans.

During the short while that they'd been there they'd already fallen into a routine, with different people hunting, cooking and keeping watch over Haru each day, depending on who'd rather do what at the time. They all took turns to bathe as well. For the most part they tried to keep in groups of at least two at any given time, but there were occasions when they needed time alone and everyone respected that. If Makoto was watching Haru then he didn't want any company, though Sousuke felt the most unsure of that one. It wasn't that he didn't trust Makoto, but if Haru was to turn on them one day then Makoto probably couldn't be counted on to react the best in that situation...

But for today, Sousuke and Makoto had been out hunting. It could have gone better, but it was almost over now. They walked in silence for a while longer, Makoto up ahead, until suddenly he turned to look up the hill and Sousuke followed his gaze.

“We're close to the road now,” Makoto said.

“Looks like it,” agreed Sousuke.

“There won't be any animals up that way,” murmured Makoto, his voice resigned with acceptance.

“No,” Sousuke replied. It'd be a waste of time to get Makoto's hopes up about that.

“All the same, it's been so long since we've seen the road... I understand why we've been avoiding it, but it's probably safe, right? We're so far into the mountains that if we're not seeing zombies in the forest, there won't be any up on the road either,” reasoned Makoto.

“If you want to go there then we can,” Sousuke said. He didn't think there was any point to it, but he also doubted it'd cause any harm to do so. If it was what Makoto wanted then Sousuke would go along with him, as he knew their lack of success today had put him in a bad mood.

“Yeah... I'd like that,” replied Makoto.

Then, without waiting, Makoto changed his course to walk up the hill towards the road. Sousuke followed along behind him and now neither of them were bothered about the amount of noise they were making as they stepped over fallen twigs and other such things. Even though they hadn't said so, it seemed they both agreed that today's hunting was over, so it no longer mattered if they scared everything off.

After a short climb they made it out onto the road. The tarmac felt strangely solid underfoot after so long of walking on nothing but earth and Sousuke stamped his feet a few times just to hear the sound. The soft thuds resonated around them into the night.

“The bonfire that we burned the family on is up ahead,” Makoto said, “Think we should check it?”

“We can if you want, but there's no need. My mother has been back there a few times and she says that it's only the bones that have been picked dry by whatever found them. Haven't seen any skeleton zombies so far, so I reckon we're all right,” Sousuke stated.

There was a low chuckle from Makoto. Honestly, Sousuke wasn't sure if he'd intended that skeleton comment as a joke or not, but he liked the sound of Makoto's laugh all the same. Makoto had been so miserable all this time, even if he tried to mask it. He was a far cry from the cheerful person Sousuke remembered from back before all of this. Though then again, Sousuke hadn't known Makoto all that well before. Perhaps he'd been wearing a mask the whole time and the outbreak just made it harder for him to keep that mask on his face...

“Nah, we don't have to go,” Makoto answered, “But I appreciate that you would have done if I wanted to. You're like that, aren't you? If I want to do something then you don't object, even if I can tell you think it's pointless.”

“If something keeps you happy then it's not pointless,” Sousuke insisted, “None of us have much going on in our lives any more and we need anything we can have, even if it's just a walk to the road.”

“You're right about that,” replied Makoto, “It's so weird when you think that not too long ago we were all caught up thinking about university, bills, our futures and now... none of that matters. Now it's just about staying alive as long as we can.”

“Ignoring all that other stuff, I think that staying alive as long as we can was always the general idea anyway, zombies or no,” Sousuke mused.

“You're so blunt,” Makoto laughed.

“Someone has to be,” said Sousuke.

“Yeah, well... I'm glad that it's you,” Makoto admitted. He turned to look at Sousuke and there was a weird, almost fond glint in his eyes that Sousuke hadn't seen there before; “We wouldn't be here without your cool head, I reckon. Kisumi and I both don't have a clue really and your mother would have stayed in the shop if you hadn't told her to leave. We're all very lucky that you're with us.”

Sousuke shrugged; “I'm glad that everyone who's here is still with us.” Those weren't his own words, he was echoing what his mother had said to him that night at the bonfire, but it felt like the right thing to say.

However, Makoto shook his head. He was still smiling and the overall effect made Sousuke's stomach shift with nerves. Right now he had no idea what Makoto was seeing when he looked at him.

“Can't you let me be thankful for you? Specifically you? It's not that I'm not glad of everyone else, of course, but with you...” Makoto trailed off. It seemed that he wasn't sure what to say and that frustrated him. After a pause he continued, though his words seemed to lack the good spirit they'd had only moments ago, “...We keep dancing around this, don't we? Unless I'm the only one that feels this way. In which case I'm being an idiot.”

“You're not being an idiot,” Sousuke firmly replied. Though if Makoto was talking about what Sousuke thought he was, then Sousuke didn't know how he was going to address it. He had developed a sort of fondness for Makoto through everything they'd gone through together, but he had no idea how obvious he was being about it or if Makoto felt the same way.

Another laugh from Makoto. Not a nice one.

“I'd love to carry on talking about this, but there's something coming up the road,” he said, all too calmly.

Sousuke whirled around in a panic, but the sight that greeted him was neither a zombie nor whatever large beast might be out this way. It was lights in the distance. Two lights. The headlights of a vehicle. They were far away at the moment, but they were getting closer.

“It's people!” Sousuke gasped, “We've actually found people!”

This was the best news that he'd had in a long time. Since the infection began, the only living people Sousuke had seen were the ones that were with him right now. He knew that they couldn't have been the only survivors, but after so long he'd almost lost hope of finding others. And now here they were, coming towards them in the pale blue of the early night.

“Yeah, but they're heading towards Sano, not away from it,” Makoto pointed out.

Sousuke wasn't sure what he meant by that. Since what that could mean was that they were headed into Sano to seek out survivors. The road had been dead for so long that he had no doubt the rest of Japan was aware of what had happened. They'd probably roped off the whole area and it had taken this long for them to prepare a team to send out and search for survivors.

The two of them stayed stood in the middle of the road, so there was no chance that the vehicle could pass them. And it did slow to a stop as it came closer, though now Sousuke could see that it was only a car. There were three people inside it, a woman who was driving, a man next to her and another woman in the back. They all looked to be a few years older than Sousuke and Makoto were and it was obvious they weren't military types out on a rescue mission. They were just people.

The man leaned his head out of the window and yelled, “You two gonna move or do we need to run you down?”

“Lando, I'm not running anyone down!” snapped the driver, “Not when they're uninfected people like us.”

The guy called Lando sneered; “Are we sure they're people like us? I'm through with taking in liars who turn out to be infected. It's not worth it.”

“We're not infected,” assured Makoto, “There's a group of us and we've been living down in the forest. You're the first other people we've seen.”

“What's it like in the forest? Are there zombies there?” Lando asked, clearly not convinced.

“Oh, for pity's sake, Lando! What do you think there's going to be, zombie deer? I bet there's not a person for miles out here, so I don't blame them for settling down,” said the driver, as the woman in the back cowered from their arguing. From the sound of it, the driver had put up with more than she cared for of Lando's accusations.

“No point in staying out here, no one will find us in the middle of nowhere,” insisted Lando, “Best if we carry on to Iwatobi and-”

“There's only zombies in Iwatobi,” Makoto cut in, “That's where we've come from. We thought that it might be better the other way...”

Lando slammed the dashboard, making the woman in the back flinch.

“Fuck! We can't have driven all this way for nothing!” he snapped, “This guy has to be lying... We keep going to Iwatobi!”

“He's not lying!” Sousuke retorted, his hackled raised now. How dare this horrible stranger accuse Makoto like that. Anyone who knew Makoto knew that he was a gentle, honest sort.

Now Lando's frown redirected to Sousuke; “You guys didn't answer my question earlier about if there's any zombies in the forest.”

Sousuke saw no reason to lie to them either, as rude as this guy was. They might be their ticket out of here, even if they were headed in the wrong direction.

“There was a family who were infected, but we took them out and burned their bodies weeks ago. There hasn't been anything else since and we always boil the water just in case,” he explained, “There's five of us altogether.”

“...Six of us,” Makoto reminded. The bottom dropped out of Sousuke's stomach when he suddenly remembered that was true.

“How'd you manage to forget someone?” the driver asked. Even she sounded suspicious now.

“Because Haru is... is...” Makoto started to reply, but they both knew that any answer they gave about Haru wouldn't sound good.

Even so, it seemed as if the people in the car got the gist of it without them needing to explain about Haru.

“I knew it! They've got an infected with them!” Lando screamed, “We're moving on!”

“Please, don't go! It's not like that!” Makoto protested.

The driver looked at him with pity, but shook her head; “I'm sorry. I wish you all the best of luck, but I can't put Sharo at any more risk. She's very ill and we're all she's got...”

“So you're just going to leave us here?” growled Sousuke.

“If you value yourselves, then take out that infected person, no matter how hard it seems,” the driver explained, “Some people take longer to turn than others, but it always ends the same way. Trust me.”

With that, she revved the car back into life. Sousuke stood his ground, hands balled into fists. But Makoto tugged at his arm, shaking his head.

“We can't lose you... I can't lose you...” he begged.

That was what made Sousuke move. Because when he thought about it properly, he didn't doubt that these people would run him down – they'd seen enough death already and one more stranger lying on the roadside would mean nothing to them. As far as they knew, they were potentially abandoning Sousuke and Makoto for dead anyway, leaving them here with an infected person.

The two of them stepped to the side of the road and the car sped past with a noisy roar.

“They're wasting fuel that way. I hope they run out,” Sousuke spat, “Actually no, I hope they get all the way to Iwatobi. See if they like what they find there.”

“You don't mean that...” mumbled Makoto.

“Probably not? But I'm just so... ugh. This ruins everything!” Sousuke retorted, kicking out at the nearest tree in frustration, “I don't mean those guys leaving us here, because it looks like we're in a better position than they are. But all this time I thought that there might be some hope further away. That... maybe the infection was spreading out from Iwatobi, so it'd thin out the further away we got. Though if they're coming from the other way then it must mean everywhere is the same. We can't get away from it!”

“Come on, you don't know that for sure,” Makoto replied, “Okay, so wherever they're coming from has been infected, maybe even all of Japan, but... it can't be everywhere. Someone will come save us.”

“Maybe, but I'm not setting myself up for disappointment by believing it any more,” said Sousuke, “My life is here now. And if I can keep all of you alive as long as possible then that's good enough for me.”

He stormed off back into the forest, needing to not talk until he'd settled down from his anger at those idiots. Heck, he was already feeling bad about what he'd said to Makoto, but if they kept talking then he knew he'd only say more things that he'd regret later. Best to leave it there for now, which was exactly how he felt about his hopes of making it back into society safely.

Behind him, he heard the heavy footsteps of Makoto, following him at a much slower pace.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after they came across the car on the road, Sousuke is tasked with keeping an eye on Haru. It turns out that Haru is pretty good to talk to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to wait until at least tomorrow to post the next chapter, but Holly wanted to read it and I'm excited about it anyway, so you get a double update today.

“You're watching Haru today. Makoto spends too much time doing it and you don't spend enough,” Sousuke's mother told him, “It's time we change that.”

“Don't I at least get any company?” Sousuke debated, though his mother had already turned to leave.

“Not until you cool your head.”

He grunted, but didn't make any response other than that. Once his mother had disappeared out of sight he plonked himself down against a tree a good distance away from Haru and stared at him, with Haru staring right back. The one thing Sousuke did agree on was that Makoto spends too much time here, wallowing in the pity that was this train wreck. Though Sousuke didn't like that the solution to this was that he had to spend time with Haru instead. It was a long and dull way to pass the day, especially when Sousuke would rather be out hunting.

They'd told the others about the people in the car from last night. It hadn't been the best news they could have given, but that was just the way things were now. Everyone had taken it hard that this seemed to imply there wasn't safety the way they'd been headed before they'd stopped here, but none of them were quite as angry about it as Sousuke was. Probably because he'd been the one who'd had to deal with those stubborn people...

But his mother was right that he needed time on his own to get his thoughts together. She knew him well enough to know that and he knew himself enough to know deep down that she wasn't wrong. So he sat in silence, with nothing but Haru for company. And now that Sousuke had stopped talking to his mother, he lost Haru's attention as well, with Haru lowering his head once more.

Time went by, turned into hours and Sousuke felt his body grow numb from sitting for so long, yet he didn't move.

He later thanked himself that he had stayed so still though, because through this he learned something. In the early afternoon silence, a rabbit made its way out into the clearing. It was cautious, it must have known there were people in the cottage nearby, but it seemed to have decided that this area was safe enough. If Sousuke had the shotgun with him then he knew he could have had it, but it was Kisumi's turn to hunt today. So instead he just watched the rabbit as it slowly made its way across the grass. Moving closer...

Closer to the tree where Haru sat dormant...

Closer...

Much closer, until...

There was a cry. Rabbits made the worst noise when they were distressed, but everything was over before it knew it. Sousuke barely even saw Haru move, he had been so quick. Yet it had happened and now the creature lay dead in Haru's jaws. He set it down and started chewing on it as if this was the most normal thing in the world. Perhaps for him it was... Had he stayed still this whole time waiting for something to cross his path? Sousuke wouldn't have been surprised if the animals just thought he was a corpse anyway. At least until it was too late.

Once he recovered, Sousuke finally got up and walked towards Haru, who seemed to ignore him at first.

“So this is how you do it. I'm impressed. We could learn something from you,” he said.

The noise made Haru look up at him, a large chunk of rabbit flesh hanging down from his mouth. It was an unpleasant sight to say the least.

“Don't worry, I know they don't come back when you eat them,” Sousuke said, as if Haru had expressed any sort of emotion that he needed comfort from, “And even if they did, you're good about breaking their necks. Makoto wants to believe that you're doing that for our sake.”

And Sousuke wanted to believe that Haru understood when he said Makoto, but that was probably just wishful thinking.

“Hey, so... about Makoto, you must know how hard this is for him. You must know that you need to let go of him,” Sousuke went on. Though as Haru continued to stare up at him, he realised that wasn't fair and corrected himself, “...I guess it would make more sense to say that he needs to let go of you. And you know that, right?”

Silence. There could be nothing else.

“Look, I don't know how much you understand. I want to believe that you understand at least something about Makoto, because why else would you have followed him if you didn't? Maybe I'm just wasting my breath, but I need someone to talk to so you're going to have to listen,” Sousuke insisted.

As if to spite him, Haru lowered his head again and carried on eating the rabbit.

“Yeah, whatever. You just do that,” Sousuke replied, “The thing is... this is about Makoto anyway. I think that there's... something. I don't know what it is yet, but I think there's something between us. At first I thought it was just me, but last night we were talking, before those idiots came along, and it seemed like he was saying that... maybe he felt something as well. But I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it.”

The sound of meat being chewed was all that greeted him. Zombies didn't care about being noisy eaters.

“The thing is, if he was saying that... if he does think there might be something there then... I wouldn't mind going through with it. I've come to care about Makoto a lot... Even just talking about him like this makes me feel weird inside. I think that... maybe I might be falling for him in some way...” Sousuke admitted. It was strange to say it out loud, but he felt better for having done so. It made the whole situation seem more real.

Haru stopped eating now, even though he wasn't finished. He stared up at him and Sousuke just felt as if he could still see him out of at least one of his eyes.

“You understood that, didn't you?” Sousuke mused, “I bet you did. Part of me wants to know how you'd feel if something did happened between Makoto and me. But I guess I'll never know... I'm asking anyway though. Would you be okay with it?”

Haru lowered his head and Sousuke decided he was wasting his time in asking. But then just before he turned to go back to the tree, Haru raised his head again. And then he lowered it once more, very slowly...

“Are you... nodding?” Sousuke asked.

“Hey, Sousuke! Your shift is up, time to go!”

It was Kisumi, coming down the trail from the cottage. He looked all too cheerful, considering that he was about to take over on zombie duty, but Sousuke was still too confused by what he'd just witnessed to question it.

“I think he understands me,” Sousuke mumbled, before he knew what he was saying.

“Yeah, I think that too sometimes,” replied Kisumi, “I used to dread doing this, but now I kind of like it. We sit here and I talk for hours about anything, let him know how everyone's doing and all that. I've always liked running my mouth off and I think he appreciates the noise, whether he understands or not.”

“No, but I asked him a question and he nodded,” Sousuke explained.

“Did he...?” Kisumi gaped. He turned to look at Haru, “...Huh. You never answer any of my questions, Haru. That's so rude.”

“Look, just don't get too comfortable around him,” warned Sousuke. He needed to get his head back into reality, “I also saw him snatch up that rabbit in an instant. If we let our guards down then it could be a mistake.”

“I know, I know. Don't you worry about that,” Kisumi dismissed, “Now get back to the house and keep Hayato company while I'm here.”

“Will do,” Sousuke assured.

He bid Kisumi goodbye and then turned to head back towards the cottage. After walking a little distance away, away through the trees, he looked back at the two of them. Completely disregarding Sousuke's advice, Kisumi was now sat right next to Haru, talking away to him as he finished off the rabbit.

Suddenly it seemed that, when it came to Haru, maybe Makoto wasn't the one who Sousuke should be the most worried about.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They have some unfinished business with the family whose home they'd claimed. Which is why Makoto's decided that him and Sousuke are going to bury them.

He'd left a note saying he'd gone out hunting, so there was no reason for anyone to worry. All right, so they had agreed that they should stick to groups or at the very least pairs where possible, but Sousuke knew in himself that all of them were slipping on that front. There just didn't seem to be any immediate danger out here, save for whatever potential threat Haru possessed, though he was at least tied down. And other than him, it would take a determined zombie to come this for out into the mountains with no other people for miles around as a source of food. Perhaps it was wrong to grow complacent, but at the moment Sousuke would rather be on his own.

Yesterday he'd been keeping an eye on Haru for most of the day and looking after Hayato for the rest of it. Not that he minded doing either and he certainly did get a lot of time to think when he was around Haru, but even so, he'd rather be doing something useful.

Hunting was useful.

It was also turning into something that Sousuke was somewhat decent at. He was the best at it out of the lot of them, although that statement once again ignored Haru. It was only early afternoon and he'd already bagged up a boar and two rabbits, which was more than enough for one day.

Perhaps because of his success, he'd began to wander without purpose. There wasn't any point in bringing too much back, since they didn't have means to freeze it and leftovers would go to waste. But at the same time he didn't feel ready to go back to the cottage just now. A nice trek through the forest was what he needed.

And then, after walking for a good hour at least, he found himself back out on the road again. He hadn't meant to go there, but that was where his feet had brought him and it made hot anger about the other night run through his veins once more. Those people in the car were long gone now. No doubt they weren't sparing any thoughts for those who they had left behind...

For once, Makoto didn't take him by surprise when he came up to join him. Sousuke wanted to believe that his reactions were getting better from the hunting and he heard the footsteps approach before he saw who they belonged to. After that he just waited for Makoto to climb up the hill to join him on the road.

“I thought you said you weren't going to wait for anyone to come along any more,” Makoto said, once he'd joined Sousuke.

“I'm not. This is just where I ended up while I was walking,” Sousuke replied.

“Must be because you're thinking about it. I can tell that you're still annoyed,” Makoto said, “We all can.”

“Well, can you blame me?” retorted Sousuke, “It's not so much that they didn't take us with them, because those idiots didn't seem to know they were driving into a death trap even after we told them, but they took away our hope that anywhere else might be different.”

“We had this same conversation that night,” Makoto reminded him, “And I'll say it again – you don't know that for sure. Okay yeah, it is... disappointing that more places than we thought have been infected, but we still don't know the full extent of it.”

“Maybe the next time someone drives through we can ask them,” said Sousuke, without even trying to hide the bitterness from his voice.

“Do you think anyone else will come this way?” asked Makoto.

Sousuke shook his head; “Not likely. We're too far out and I think it was more a case of those people having not heard about Iwatobi yet. If I was to put money on it, I'd say that they'd been driving from place to place and Iwatobi was their next stop. But ignoring them, we've been here for weeks and haven't seen or heard anything else drive past. It isn't worth getting our hopes up for that. But on the bright side at least it means we're not seeing any zombies out here either.”

He got the impression that Makoto was only half listening to him, which was fuelled by Makoto staring off down the road instead of looking at him as he spoke. It was a little annoying, but when Makoto replied to him what he said was at least in line with their discussion.

“Even with all that aside, assuming that the unlikely happened and someone did come along... would you go with them?” Makoto asked.

“That depends,” said Sousuke, “If they had room for us all and they knew somewhere safe then yes. But if they were just driving around aimlessly then no.” He paused to regard Makoto, who was still looking down the road, “...Would you go?”

“No,” Makoto answered, “Because no one would take Haru with them. There's no way that they could. And I wouldn't leave him.”

“You're right there. And if you wouldn't go then neither would I,” Sousuke stubbornly stated.

“And if you stayed then so would your mother. And Kisumi and Hayato. It really would be my fault...” Makoto mumbled.

“There's no point in worrying about it anyway. No one's going to come along,” assured Sousuke. Those words had sounded much more comforting in his head, but they seemed to do the trick. Makoto finally broke his gaze away from the road and looked at him.

“You're right. So I'll stop thinking about it if you do too,” Makoto said. There was a slight hint of mischief hidden in with his melancholy.

“Were you trying to trick me?” Sousuke checked.

“Maybe. Or maybe I'm just making it up as I go along. But even so, I don't want to see you sulking over what happened. So can we make a deal that we'll both try to cheer up?” said Makoto.

“I walked right into that one. But fine... No more hanging out up here getting angry over something that we don't know for sure anyway,” Sousuke agreed.

Even if he felt in himself that he was right about Japan being in the worst state right now, it wouldn't do them any good for him to be wandering around just thinking about that and he knew it. They'd be better off if he just put the whole incident with the car behind him and left this road well alone.

“Glad to hear it,” Makoto replied, “But while we are up here there's something we should do.”

“What's that?” asked Sousuke.

“The family. We killed them, burned their bodies and then left to take over their home,” reminded Makoto. It sounded as if he couldn't believe what he was saying, even if it had been weeks since it had happened. But when he put it like that it did seem crazy; “At the time we just wanted to get to somewhere safe as soon as possible, but we don't have an excuse now. We should bury them. Or what's left of them, I guess...”

He was serious about this, Sousuke could tell. When Makoto looked back down the road again he realised it was because he was looking towards where the bonfire was, not because he was thinking about the people from the other night. And honestly, he was right. It made Sousuke feel terrible for not having considered such a thing, but then again his mind had been more on keeping the living alive than dealing with the dead. Now that it had been brought to the table though he had no excuse.

“That sounds like a good idea. Should we get the others?” Sousuke offered.

“No... It's not like we're having a funeral. I'm thankful for what they left behind for us to use, but we didn't really know them. ...Actually, that sounds awful, doesn't it? They probably do deserve a funeral, but right now I'd rather it was just us,” Makoto replied, seeming more like he was trying to justify this to himself than to Sousuke, “And I doubt Kisumi would want to bring Hayato to look at piles of bones anyway. Maybe your mother would want to pay her respects though...”

“Don't worry, I'll let her know so she can do that later if she wants,” assured Sousuke, “I think she'd just appreciate that we buried them at all.”

“If you're sure...” Makoto said.

“I'm sure. Now let's go,” answered Sousuke.

Both of them made to walk towards the bonfire and as they did, Sousuke put an arm around Makoto, because it seemed like he needed comfort. It wasn't the first time he'd done this, Sousuke thought, and even if he did feel a little unsure of doing so without asking, Makoto never seemed to mind and would welcome the contact. This time was no exception. They walked like that and Sousuke realised Makoto was smiling over at him now.

“I'm glad you're here.” It wasn't the first time Makoto had said that, either.

“...There's the bonfire. Looks like there's not much of them left.” And it certainly wouldn't be the last time that Sousuke ruined the moment. Why did he keep doing this to himself?

He wasn't wrong in his assessment though. Given how long the bonfire had been left abandoned, what hadn't burnt away during it had been eaten by the local wildlife. They probably should have known better than to leave it like they had done, but if Haru's eating habits were anything to go on then they didn't seem to have to worry about the animals being infected. If something like that had happened from some creature eating the carcasses then they'd have known about it by now. So as it stood, all that was left were slim pickings of unwanted bones, bleached pale white by days in the sun. Not pretty, but Sousuke had seen enough dead things at this point to be desensitised to it.

“There's enough,” Makoto said firmly, “Now let's gather them up and find somewhere to dig.”

Too many bizarre events had happened in Sousuke's life recently for him to be able to rank them, but if he tried then carrying bones through a forest with Makoto Tachibana, looking for an ideal place to bury them, would definitely be up there. They ended up choosing somewhere that wasn't too near to the cottage or the hot springs. Perhaps the family might have wanted to be buried with what was their own, but it would be too depressing for Sousuke's merry band of freeloaders to have to look upon their grave everyday and it wasn't as if they had any way of asking what the family wanted regardless. So they'd go where Sousuke and Makoto decided they were going, which was a little distance away from anything of use, in a patch of soft soil.

“We should have gone to get shovels from the cottage,” Sousuke grunted, as the two of them pulled out clumps of dirt with their bare hands.

“Then we'd have to tell everyone what we're doing,” replied Makoto.

“And why aren't we doing that again?” checked Sousuke. More hands made light work and that applied quite literally to the current situation, his throbbing fingers were telling him.

“Because I don't want to deal with anyone else right now,” Makoto said.

“I'll go then.”

“Don't you dare.”

Sousuke had started to climb back out of the hole as a joke, but the sharpness of Makoto's tone had him lower himself back into it. He stared over and Makoto stared right back at him. At this point Sousuke had seen Makoto in the mornings enough times to know that, should it come to a battle of wills, Makoto would have him beaten any day of the week. But he liked to believe that he still had the edge when it came to reasoning with a situation, so he tried his luck.

“What are we even going for here anyway?” he asked, “It's not like we need six feet just to cover a few bones and we don't have anything to measure this with us anyway. I reckon this'll be enough.”

Makoto stood up to look at the hole from a higher vantage point. It was probably bigger than what they needed it for anyway and there was no getting around that. So he nodded.

“All right, let's go with this,” he said, “If you want to put them in and cover them over then I'll get some rocks we can use for a marker. Just in case your mother wants to come pay respects.”

With that he was out the hole and off before Sousuke could argue, not that he would have done anyway. By now he already had dirt crusted right down into his fingernails and had spent more time carrying bones around than he'd planned to when he'd woken up this morning. A bit longer floundering in the earth wouldn't hurt.

So he got to work. First he lay the bones into the hole and then he climbed out and started to unceremoniously shovel back in what they'd just taken out. By the time Makoto returned with the rocks, he was pretty much done.

“It looks good,” said Makoto, lying down the rocks in a pile above the patch Sousuke had just covered over.

It didn't look good, it looked terrible, but at least it was something.

“Sure,” Sousuke replied, “Now let's get back while these animals I caught are still good to cook.”

“Your mother will never let us into the cottage looking like this,” Makoto pointed out.

“Then we stop off at the hot springs first and hope we don't have to explain ourselves to anyone,” said Sousuke, “And if we do then I'm going to be honest and say it was all your idea.”

“You're terrible,” Makoto laughed.

“You're worse,” Sousuke promised.

“...Agreed, now let's go. Suddenly I don't want to hang around here any more, at least not right now,” said Makoto.

Sousuke couldn't blame him for that. When all was said and done they had just finished putting less than fresh remains into a shallow grave and were now covered in dirt from doing just that. It wasn't only them that would need a soak in the warm water, but their clothes as well.

The two of them headed off from the grave without another word, but as they walked away, this time it was Makoto who put his arm around Sousuke first.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One morning Sousuke finds himself talking to Hayato about their situation. But he doesn't have too long to reflect on how hopeless this all is for a kid like Hayato, both because Hayato won't let him and because someone who shouldn't be is out for a morning walk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of shameless advertising here, but I've recently wrapped up another multi-chapter Free! fanfic I'd been working on called Moves Across the Land. It's an AU where Makoto dies a few years post-ES and now each of his friends are receiving letters that he wrote to them before he passed away. There's chapters focused on Makoto's relationships with Sousuke, Haru, Kisumi and a bunch of other characters. So if that sounds like something you might be interested in and you fancy reading a multi-chapter that's entirely finished and posted then I'd love it if you checked it out.

It was unusual enough for Sousuke not to be the first person up, but when he did a head count and realised that two of their number were gone, that left him feeling uneasy. Especially since one of those two was Makoto, who notoriously wasn't good with mornings. Still, it was no reason to panic, so Sousuke pulled himself up off the sofa and went over to where Hayato was sat by the window, as his mother was still asleep and he didn't want to disturb her.

“Been awake long?” he asked, not even trying to stifle the yawn that came with it.

Hayato shook his head; “About an hour. I woke up when I heard Kisumi leaving.”

“So him and Makoto didn't go together?” Sousuke checked.

“No, Makoto was already gone when Kisumi left,” answered Hayato.

Why did they have to be that way? Everyone had agreed that travelling in numbers was the better option, even if Sousuke himself had been disregarding that rule a lot lately. But it still annoyed him when the others copied his example. Since some of them weren't as apt at looking after themselves as others, if he was honest. Still, no point in getting worked up over nothing when the forest had been safe the whole time that they'd been here, which was definitely longer than a month now, perhaps even going on two months. So he took a seat next to Hayato and joined him in looking out of the window at the early morning mist.

“Any idea where they went?” he said, figuring that it was a pointless question if Hayato had only woken up when Kisumi was leaving, but he might as well check.

“The shotgun's gone, so one of them might be out hunting,” replied Hayato, “I didn't see if Kisumi had it with him when he left though.”

“It's a good time in the morning for hunting. And with this fog they won't have to worry about the animals seeing them coming as much, though I guess that works both ways,” Sousuke mused. Then as Hayato nodded in agreement, Sousuke realised how sad their situation was. It didn't seem right for a kid Hayato's age to have to know so much about survival when he should instead be in school or hanging out with his friends. Both of which he probably had been doing up until the infection ripped his life away from him. Sousuke sighed and said, “...I'm sorry you have to live this.”

“I don't mind,” Hayato insisted, without looking away from the window.

“But you should mind. You've lost so much and there might not be a chance of getting it back,” said Sousuke. As soon as the words left his mouth he was kicking himself for putting it so bluntly, since he didn't want to destroy any hope that Hayato might have had.

“So has everyone else,” Hayato countered, with a shrug.

“Yeah, but everyone else is an adult,” said Sousuke, “You have a lot more ahead of you than we do.”

Now Hayato did turn from the window to look at Sousuke, with a gaze that was sharper than Sousuke had seen from him before. Then, much to Sousuke's surprise, he started to laugh. Getting laughed at by a kid wasn't a great feeling.

“Mrs. Yamazaki always says you talk like you're going on fifty, I understand what she means now,” Hayato chuckled. Before Sousuke could argue, he carried on, “All of you are only just not teenagers any more, right? You lost your lives as well.”

“Can't you just let me feel sorry for you?” Sousuke argued.

“You can, but it doesn't change anything,” said Hayato.

“That's... you sound too much like me,” Sousuke grumbled, “I've been a bad influence on you.”

“Probably, but Mrs. Yamazaki talks the same way and I've been around her the most,” Hayato reminded, “It just seems that you two make the most sense in all of this...”

“Even more than your brother or Makoto? Wasn't Makoto your swimming teacher once? Kisumi told me that you really admire him,” said Sousuke.

“I do, but... teaching swimming is different to living out here. And Kisumi knows he's not the best at this, though he tries very hard,” Hayato reasoned.

“Maybe you're right. But even so, I don't feel comfortable with you modelling yourself on me. I'm not a good person to copy,” Sousuke tried.

“You don't have to like it, but I'm going to do it anyway,” informed Hayato.

“Huh. In that case you're a lot more like Kisumi than you probably realise,” Sousuke teased, “But getting back to the point, it's okay if you feel sad about all that you've lost. The rest of us all feel that way as well, so you're not alone.”

“I like it out here,” Hayato replied, again to Sousuke's surprised, “Don't tell Kisumi, but back at home I didn't have that many friends in school. I'd go there each day and just wait for it to end so I could get to my swimming class or go home and see Kisumi. I did talk to some of the kids in swimming class, but we didn't hang out.”

“At least you had the chance to hang around with kids your own age there. Here you only have us boring adults,” Sousuke said.

“Yeah, but at least you all don't talk to me like a little kid,” Hayato answered. His stare towards Sousuke turned harsh, “...Most of the time.”

“You are a little kid,” Sousuke teased.

“Well you act like on-”

There was a crack from outside, as if something had stepped on a tree branch, and both of them turned to look out the window. It was probably just an animal, Sousuke hoped, since they'd come closer to the cottage when the fog was dense. But as he saw something shift amongst the gloom, he knew that it was the wrong shape to be a deer.

“Maybe it's one of the others...” Hayato whispered.

“Yeah,” Sousuke agreed.

It had to be, there were no other options. Yet even so, Sousuke had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. They watched the figure come closer to the cottage, but he realised it was... just too short to be Kisumi or Makoto. Then, as it had almost reached the porch, Sousuke realised that there was one other option.

“Haru!” he yelled. The noise caused his mother to wake with a start, but now wasn't the time to apologise, so he whirled around and told her, “You need to keep Hayato in here. Haru's gotten untied and he's just outside.”

Fortunately his mother was quick to action. She pulled herself up from the bed and was over to Hayato in an instant, while Sousuke grabbed his axe and made his way to the door.

“But what about Kisumi and Makoto? They're out there!” Hayato cried.

“Don't worry, I'll deal with it,” muttered Sousuke. He wished that he actually had the confidence it sounded like he had, as well as any idea what to do.

“Be safe!” his mother called.

Whether that was possible or not, Sousuke didn't know. But he nodded all the same and headed out, opening the door only as much as he needed to squeeze through and then closing it behind him just as quickly. By the time he'd done that, Haru was already up on the porch. Sousuke didn't know if Haru could open doors or not, but he didn't want today to be the day that he found out.

“What are you doing all the way out here...?” Sousuke asked, wishing that he could hide the nerves in his voice, “Did you chew through your rope?”

Haru stopped walking and looked at him in his usual fashion. He was still for the moment, but Sousuke had seen how fast he could move when he was grabbing for his prey. It was funny, when Sousuke was a kid, Rin and him would scoff at fast zombies in video games, but being faced with the very real prospect of one wasn't nearly as nice. Haru could go from completely still to full speed as fast as Sousuke could blink, it seemed, and that was terrifying.

He didn't seem to be in a hurry right now, but after assessing Sousuke, Haru did start to walk past him and towards the door again.

“No you don't...!” Sousuke snapped.

With that, he reached out to grab Haru's arm. That was when those quick reflexes came into action, with Haru turning back to face him before Sousuke even knew what was happening. His teeth were bared and he was... going to do it. He was going to bite Sousuke. This was the end.

...Then Haru stopped himself. He closed his mouth again, he looked down at the ground and stood still.

“...I knew you were still in there...” Sousuke gasped, once his heart had climbed back down from his throat and into his chest, “L-look... I know you don't want to h-hurt me, but you're still a zombie... You c-can't help yourself. So I can't let you into the cottage. Besides Makoto isn't even there...”

That last sentence instantly fell into the ever-growing category of things that Sousuke wished he hadn't said, because upon hearing that, Haru yanked his arm away from Sousuke's grasp and then he was off again. Faster than Sousuke could follow, he was back into the fog and thus into the forest. Where Makoto and Kisumi were both wandering around alone.

And the worst part was that while he'd been stood there, Sousuke had been able to get a better look at his waist, where there was no trace of a rope having been chewed through. There was no rope at all.

Someone had untied Haru.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sousuke heads out into the forest to find Makoto, Kisumi or Haru, hoping that Haru doesn't find either of the other two first. What he doesn't know is that hidden in the mist is the answer to why Haru ran.

Sousuke shone the torch in every direction as often as he could, but the fog was too thick for it to make that much difference. Still, he felt better for having it. He'd only gone back into the cottage long enough to grab it and explain to his mother and Hayato what was going on. Which didn't take long, given that they'd both been watching from the window and they knew that two of there number were out there. When Sousuke headed out alone, there were no objections, just a stern warning from his mother that he had to come back.

They could be anywhere in this... Sousuke didn't even dare to shout, in case he caught Haru's attention just as much as Kisumi or Makoto's. But then... hopefully he was worrying about nothing. Even if the situation wasn't ideal, Haru had been safe ever since they'd taken him in, hadn't he?

At that moment, his mind chose to bring up the image from not even an hour earlier, with Haru coming so close to biting Sousuke before he stopped himself. Perhaps Haru didn't want to be a risk, not deep down in whatever part of him was still Haru, but it didn't change the fact that he couldn't help himself in some regards. Having him loose was too dangerous, especially when at least one of the other people out in the forest probably had no idea Haru wasn't where he was supposed to be.

As he walked, Sousuke stayed as silent and alert as he possibly could, just like when he was out hunting. It might help to think of this as the same as if he was hunting. For a long time there was nothing, but that wouldn't last forever. There was only so far that any of them could travel when it was like this.

Then, either to reward or punish him for that notion, two sounds came at once. Both from completely different directions.

Not too far away from Sousuke came the sound of gunshot. After that, much further away, came that inhuman cry, the one that Haru had emitted on the day when they fought off the family. Sousuke could have fooled himself into believing that someone had shot Haru, but he could tell that both noises were too far apart for that to be the case. It was more likely that Haru was reacting to the gunshot, even though he'd never done that before.

He could be headed towards whoever it was right now and he was fast...

Sousuke didn't hesitate in choosing which direction to set out in. He went for whoever had fired the gun. If he could get to them before Haru did then maybe he could help them. That was the plan.

There wasn't much point in staying quiet now either. If anything, should Sousuke alert Haru to his presence then he'd rather Haru came after him than anyone else. So he shouted ahead of him into the gloom.

“Hey! Makoto! Kisumi! Are you there?”

“Sousuke?”

A wave of relief ran through him. That voice sounded fine, albeit confused. It was... Makoto's voice. As he made his way through the trees, Sousuke caught sight of the huge shadow that was now coming towards him. And Makoto had the shotgun. That much was obvious as soon as the weak light of the torch could reach him.

“Sousuke, what's going on? I heard Haru. At least... I think it was Haru,” Makoto said. The terror in his eyes made it clear that he was already aware that the sound hadn't come from somewhere that Haru should have been.

It also confirmed something that Sousuke knew down in the pit of his stomach anyway – that Makoto hadn't been the one who untied Haru.

“You didn't shoot at him then?” Sousuke checked. Because even if it seemed obvious he hadn't, Sousuke wanted to be able to rule it out.

“No, I was shooting at a rabbit, but I don't even know if I got it,” answered Makoto, “What's going on? Is Haru... free?”

“Yeah,” said Sousuke, “After you and Kisumi left he tried to get into the cottage, I think. But he ran off again when I said you weren't there. He could be anywhere right now.”

And possibly coming closer to them...

“Oh no... That's... W-well, are Hayato and Mother okay...?” Makoto asked, “What about Kisumi? If he's out there then he might not know-”

“Haru didn't get loose on his own,” Sousuke cut in, his face grim, “Someone untied him.”

“You don't know that,” said Makoto.

“I know that the rope was nowhere in sight when I saw him. But now isn't the time to argue about it, we need to find him or Kisumi before he finds us,” Sousuke instructed, beginning to walk away before Makoto could protest, “And yes, both of the other two are back at the cottage. They should be fine.”

If Sousuke could help it, all of them would be fine, but a lot of factors where outside of their control right now. He was making the best beeline that he could towards where he thought he'd heard the cry coming from before, but the trees and the fog made it difficult.

“Are you sure it was this way?” Makoto called from behind him.

“I think so...” Sousuke muttered.

That was when they were treated to another one of Haru's cries. But alarmingly, it wasn't getting closer like Sousuke would have expected if Haru was coming towards the sound of the gunshot. By contrast he was...

“That's further away,” Makoto said. He'd caught up with Sousuke now and placed his hand onto Sousuke's arm. It was shaking. “...Do you think I scared him off when I shot that rabbit?”

“He hasn't got a reason to be scared of guns, especially not ones held by you. It's not like you would go for a Haru head shot...” reasoned Sousuke, “If he's not coming towards us then he's going after someone else.”

“Haru wouldn't hurt Kisumi!” Makoto gasped.

“You're the only one I absolutely believe that he won't hurt,” said Sousuke, “He almost bit me on the porch.”

“That doesn't make any sense though. If you're saying that Kisumi untied him, then Haru could have bitten him any time he wanted to. You can't accuse both of them,” Makoto argued.

“You know when he also could have bitten Kisumi? All of the many times when Kisumi's sat within the range of his rope and we all turned a blind eye to it, because we wanted to believe that he's not going to do anything,” Sousuke stated, “If you're playing the waiting game with a zombie then the zombie will damn well win every time. He obviously only ran off after Kisumi untied him because he wanted to find you.”

“Then why didn't he come to me?” Makoto demanded, pulling his hand back away from Sousuke's arm, “He must be able to track me, since he followed us all the way from Iwatobi. If he wanted to find me, then why isn't he here right now?”

Another cry. Slightly further away than the last one was.

“I don't know...” Sousuke growled, “If I could ask him, then I would do, believe me. Nothing Haru does makes sense.”

“Let's just... find him and hope for the best,” said Makoto. And Sousuke could almost feel the panic radiating from him. Now wasn't the time to be arguing with each other.

“Yeah-”

A cry. A second cry. A third cry. They seemed to be coming from the same place now at least.

“-sounds like a plan,” Sousuke agreed.

They picked up the pace after that. Because the noise was constant now. Neither of them had any idea what was going on, but something was definitely happening. Then, amidst Haru's bellowing, came a very clear scream that didn't belong to him.

“Kisumi!” Makoto called, “We're coming, Kisumi! Hang on!”

Sousuke hadn't ran so fast in a long time. As much as he was festering in the silent rage that Kisumi had potentially put them all at risk, nothing would change the fact that Kisumi had been one of his closest friends since he was a child. Sure, he acted rash and made mistakes at times, but he was a good person. As good as they came. Nothing about Kisumi deserved to be killed by a zombie, least of all one that he'd shown mercy to.

“...Fuck! Fuck! What is that?” Kisumi's voice. Much closer now. “Makoto! Is that you?”

“We're here!” called Sousuke.

Kisumi bolted out from behind the trees and barrelled into them. Had it not been for the size of both Makoto and Sousuke, they would have been knocked over, but they managed to hold steady. Kisumi was shaking like a leaf. He wouldn't have been able to stay standing if Sousuke hadn't held him up and supported him.

“S-so glad... to see you guys...! There's... there's a zombie...!” Kisumi whimpered.

“We know! He tried to get in the cottage after you let him go,” Sousuke snapped, unable to stop himself.

“What? N-no... not Haru,” Kisumi replied, “A-another one...! Haru's b-back there... fighting it...”

“...Shit.”

Well, if that wasn't the biggest setback... Sousuke pushed Kisumi more towards Makoto. There was a moment when Makoto glared at him and Sousuke glared right back. Because there was so much anger and fear inside Makoto right now. He was annoyed at Sousuke for accusing both Kisumi and Haru, but he was also scared for all three of them and in particular scared for Sousuke, because he knew that Sousuke was going to go. Yet he also knew that Sousuke had to go...

“Be safe...” Makoto said, putting his arms around Kisumi to hold him close.

“I always try,” replied Sousuke. At least his sense of humour hadn't died, even if the rest of him might soon be doing so.

Without another word, he passed the torch to Makoto, because they'd need it more if anything happened to Sousuke. Then he walked ahead towards the noise. And what a noise. There was no denying that Haru was close and now that Sousuke knew he was fighting another zombie, suddenly the cries made sense. They had unnerved the family on the road that day. When Haru went for them, they'd backed away, like animals fearful of a stronger predator.

That wasn't what was happening this time.

As soon as Sousuke could see them, he knew that the other zombie wasn't scared of Haru. In fact, it was going after him, knocking him against the trees in a space where they were all tightly packed together. At first Haru might have been crying as a warning to the other zombie, but now it sounded more like he was crying for help.

“Get off him! He's with us!” Sousuke yelled. Though he wasn't sure why he was even bothering, since it wasn't as if the other zombie could understand him in all likelihood. But maybe Haru could understand. Haru who needed him.

Sousuke surged forward with the axe, going on impulse more than anything else. But his voice had attracted the attention of the other zombie, who seemed to decide that a living victim was a better choice of target than Haru. So while Sousuke was in mid-swing, the zombie started to pull away. The axe only brushed its side before sinking into the tree next to Haru's shoulder. It... hadn't gone without touching Haru either.

Haru turned his head to look at his shoulder and then turned back to look at Sousuke. Right now Sousuke was damn sure he was being judged for his poor aim.

“Shut up, it's only grazed you...” Sousuke muttered.

No time for that now though. No time at all. Haru shot past Sousuke, grabbed at the other zombie and pushed it to the ground before it could recover and go for Sousuke. If Haru had been a fraction of a second later then Sousuke wasn't sure how that would have gone, but for now it gave him the time he needed to pull his axe back out of the tree.

He turned to face the two struggling zombies, the held the axe high above his head. Only a few short weeks ago he'd been asking Haru if he could understand him enough to answer a question. Now he was depending on Haru being able to listen to his command.

“Move!” he shouted.

Then he swung the axe downwards. Haru ducked to the side. The other zombie didn't react nearly as quickly. Its head came loose from its neck with a sickening thwack. The body jerked around for a few seconds and then the nerve impulses gave out and it was over.

They were done.

Haru walked back over to the body. He crouched down and pressed in close, opening his mouth to-

“...Wait,” Sousuke said, “Let me get a look at it first.”

He bent down to look over the body. It was male. And there was something familiar about the clothes. When Sousuke moved to look at the head, he realised why that was. The zombie was that guy from the car the other night. Lando... or something like that.

But Lando hadn't been the only one in that car.

“Are there any other zombies about?” Sousuke asked, “There were two women with this guy when I saw him alive.”

Haru slowly shook his head.

“...Would you be able to tell if there were any?” Sousuke went on. He had to be sure.

A nod.

“Did you... know that this guy was coming?”

Another nod.

“You must have been going frantic at the tree... Is that why Kisumi untied you?”

But this time, Haru hesitated. He didn't answer. Sousuke had a feeling he was worried about dropping Kisumi in it. Just... how much of Haru was there in there? It felt like there was more now then there had been at the start.

Sousuke sighed.

“...Then do you think it's wrong for Kisumi to put as much trust in you as he does?”

A definite nod. Not even a pause.

“Thank you for being honest,” Sousuke concluded. With that, he stood back up and called towards where he'd left Makoto and Kisumi, “We got him! It was the guy he saw in the car that night.”

“Really?”

It took a few minutes for the two of them to make their way through the trees. They were both shaken and Sousuke could hardly blame them. He should probably be the same way, but he felt oddly calm. A lot had gone on in the space of a few minutes.

Makoto went to hug him, but then seemed to think twice about it, which caused far too much disappointment to pass through Sousuke. Maybe Makoto was still annoyed, but more likely he'd realised that everything else that was going on here was far more important than that. Sousuke watched as Makoto went to inspect the body and reached the same conclusion that he had.

“That's him all right,” Makoto agreed, “But this doesn't make any sense... How did he get infected between when we saw him and now? And where are the other two?”

“I have no idea. Honestly, I only care as far as they're a risk to us. But Haru said that there aren't any others about, so if I had to take a guess I'd say that the two women bailed on him when he turned and honestly I wouldn't blame them,” replied Sousuke.

“Haru... said that?” Makoto asked, turning to look at where Haru was waiting patiently by the body.

“Well... he answered when I asked,” Sousuke explained, “At this stage I think it's safe to assume that he knows when other zombies are close.”

“He was throwing himself about at the tree like you wouldn't believe...” Kisumi mumbled, “I knew something was happening...”

“So you untied him?” Sousuke pressed.

“What other choice did I have? I couldn't just leave him like that...” replied Kisumi.

Sousuke rubbed his temple. This was going to cause friction between the group and he knew it, but Kisumi had gone too far today and he couldn't just let it slide.

“...And what if he'd been having a funny turn? What if he was reverting back into what he was before? Like how he was when he bit Rin,” Sousuke said.

“But he didn't,” Makoto replied, standing next to Kisumi defensively.

“He could have done though! Even he agrees that he's dangerous,” insisted Sousuke, gesturing towards Haru.

They all turned to look at him. Sousuke knew that in all those times Makoto had gone to watch Haru, that he'd never spoken to him in the way that Sousuke and Kisumi had tried. Instead Makoto would just sit there and watch him sadly. But Makoto was going to talk to him now. And Haru was going to answer.

“Haru...” Makoto whispered, “Are you... dangerous?”

Once again, Haru hesitated. But thankfully he seemed to decide that he had to do the right thing. So he nodded.

“Haru, no....” Makoto said, sounding more broken than Sousuke had heard him for a long time.

“Let's just get him back to the tree,” Sousuke suggested, to try and break the tension, “I think he'll be safe enough to walk with us that far.” Then when he saw Haru shuffle closer to Lando's body, he added, “I'll bring that back for you when it's lighter outside, but not right now.”

“You're going to let him eat that guy...?” Kisumi asked.

“Less risk to us if he does,” replied Sousuke, with a shrug, “It might even be safer to let him do it now, but I'm more concerned about getting you both back and letting mother and Hayato know that you're okay. I doubt this guy will be getting up without his head anyway.”

“Fair enough. I guess we should go then...” Kisumi agreed.

He patted Makoto on the back and gave him a nod, since Makoto seemed to be suffering worse now that he'd gotten his answer from Haru than he had been even when they were running through the forest looking for him. They started to walk away and, as Sousuke might've guessed, Haru got up to follow them. But Sousuke wasn't done making people feel bad for their own safety, so as he walked after them he carried on talking.

“Kisumi... I know you're not going to like this, but from now on I don't want you watching Haru any more,” he said.

“What! You can't do that...” Kisumi whimpered, looking across at Sousuke with wide eyes, “I made one mistake, sure, but it turned out all right...!”

“Two mistakes,” corrected Sousuke, “On the day when the family attacked us, you untied Haru then as well. I know that you want to trust him and I know that both times it worked out okay, but listen to me, Kisumi, when I first saw Haru he was coming for the cottage. Hayato was in there. Is it seriously worth it?”

He felt terrible, but as Kisumi looked from Sousuke to Haru and then down to the ground, Sousuke knew that he'd realised Sousuke was right. And no matter how much Makoto was glaring at Sousuke right now it wasn't going to change that.

“Y-yeah... I won't do zombie duty any more...” Kisumi replied, “I'm sorry... All of you...”

Makoto opened his mouth to speak, but then seemed to think better of it and changed his mind. Instead he just shook his head and carried on walking. The three (well, four...) of them remained in silence for a while after that, because there was too much weight on their chests and nothing they could do to fix it.

The only change was when they got back onto the trail where Sousuke had found Makoto. Haru darted off ahead of them and slipped ahead in between the trees. But before Sousuke could even make to go after him, he had returned, with a dead rabbit held in his mouth.

“That must have been the one I shot at earlier,” said Makoto, “So I did hit it... Thank you, Haru...”

He reached out to take it from him.

“It's been in his mouth. You can't eat that,” Sousuke reminded, his voice void of emotion. He was far too exhausted for any more of this, “Just let him have it.”

“You might as well...” Makoto sighed, sounding just as fed up as Sousuke was.

Haru didn't start to eat the rabbit, but he did keep carrying it, so they could only assume that was his intention. And when they got back towards the cottage, Haru took the turn off towards his tree without being prompted. That was how aware he was. God, Sousuke hated himself right now... But he knew that, despite everything, Haru was on his side in this matter. Leaving him unchecked was too much of a risk.

“I'll go tie him back up,” said Sousuke, “You two just get back and let them know what happened.”

At least one blessing in all of this was that he wouldn't have to recount what had happened himself, since he doubted that he could get his words in order if he wanted to. Not right now. So he followed Haru down the path towards his tree and the other two left towards the cottage. As they walked their separate ways Sousuke could hear them talking again, though he couldn't make out what they were saying. Most probably offering each other words of comfort.

When they got to the tree, Haru sat down and started to eat the rabbit, waiting for Sousuke to tie him up once more. Which Sousuke did, because there was no other way. Or if there was another way, then he had no idea what it was right now.

“I hate that it has to be like this,” he admitted, while he wrapped the rope around Haru, “I know that Kisumi uses talking to you as his escape. He's the worst suited to living here out of all of us, even Hayato likes it more than he does.”

There was no response from Haru. It was hard to say exactly how he felt about the whole Kisumi situation or anything else, for that matter. As Sousuke tugged the knot he was tying, tight enough to his satisfaction, he let a more selfish question slip out.

“Makoto hates me now, doesn't he...?” Sousuke asked, with a hollow chuckle.

Haru shook his head.

“He does. He hates that I have to be like this, anyway. But someone has to be,” said Sousuke, “And it can't be you or Rin, so it's going to be me...”

To that, Haru didn't nod or shake his head. But he did look up at Sousuke and as they stared at each other, Sousuke reckoned that he had so much that he wanted to say, if only he could.

“Anyway, thanks for today... I'll leave you in peace,” Sousuke said.

He got up and stretched, then turned back towards the cottage. Behind him, Haru carried on chewing through the rabbit. He was a zombie once more.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It can be frustrating having to drag a corpse halfway across a forest for a zombie who doesn't appreciate the efforts you've gone to. But fortunately for Sousuke, someone else appreciates him more than he realises.

The mid-morning sun had burned away most of the mist and Sousuke could feel it burning away at the back of his neck as well. He was going to be red and sore tomorrow, but he had to do this, because he'd made a promise to Haru. It definitely wasn't because he just wanted an excuse to be out of the cottage and away from everyone for a while...

Sousuke didn't like to think of himself as someone who ran away from his problems. If anything, he was the only one in their group who'd properly face up to their problems when they needed him to and they all knew that. But an unfortunate side-effect of doing so was he had to make the decisions that weren't easy and that none of them liked. It was dealing with the social situations which came afterwards that Sousuke struggled with even more than the choices themselves. He didn't want to have to look at Kisumi while he was pretending not to be sad or look at Makoto while he was pretending not to be annoyed... If it was down to Sousuke, then none of them would ever be in this mess where they all had to feel the way they did.

If it was down to Sousuke then everything would have been the same as it had been before the infection. ...Back when he'd only said a handful of words to Makoto due to them both having friends in similar circles.

Was it wrong that, if nothing else, part of Sousuke felt glad that he'd been given a chance to get to know Makoto better? It was probably wrong. And getting to know Makoto didn't mean that Makoto liked him any more. There were... times when they'd been close, but either Sousuke or the universe kept messing that up for both of them.

He tried not to think about this as he dragged Lando's body through the forest, but when he was all alone it left him with little else to do except think. The body bumped about against every rock and mound in the path, but it wasn't as if it could get into much worse state than it already was anyway. By the time Sousuke had gotten back to the body after seeing the other two safely back to the cottage, several animals had already had a shot at eating it. The head had disappeared completely, which left Sousuke wondering what kind of ambitious creature had picked that up and wandered off. Chances were that the last good Lando did on this Earth was provide some fox cubs with their dinner. Well, them and Haru, at least.

Eventually Sousuke got the body back to the clearing next to Haru's tree, where he dumped it down close enough to Haru that he could get it if he wanted. Haru merely looked up at him, but didn't get up from where he was sat.

“You were practically trying to chew this guy up as soon as we killed him this morning,” Sousuke reminded, “What changed?”

Haru looked towards the remains of the rabbit that he'd carried back with him. It was mostly picked to the bone, save for a few parts that even Haru didn't seem to eat.

“You're... full?” Sousuke guessed, “Oh, come on... I dragged this thing all the way here for you.”

But they both knew that wasn't the case. That the real reason Sousuke had gone out of his way to do that was so he could get away for a while. The deed was done now and yet Sousuke still didn't feel that he was ready to go back to the cottage. Would he ever be ready? Probably when the evening rolled in. By that time they'd all be back to acting as if everything was as all right as it was going to get, although under the surface none of their problems had been solved.

Sousuke decided that he might as well stay on zombie duty while he was here, since no one else was going to want to do it right now, not even Kisumi. So he sat down on the ground near to Haru, staring at him as Haru stared right back.

“It's going to get worse from here on out,” Sousuke told him, “Kisumi will close in on himself without you to talk to, because obviously there's so much that he can't talk with Hayato about and he seems to have shut off to the rest of us as time's gone on. You were his escape. I feel awful for taking that away from him, but hopefully it won't be forever. Just long enough that he learns. Then you can have him back.”

There was no response from Haru. Once again, Sousuke wished that he could talk to him beyond yes or no questions. It wasn't as if Haru had been big on talking even before he'd gotten infected, but now that talking wasn't an option at all it left Sousuke all the more desperate to talk to him. And Haru probably felt that even more strongly, since he was the one without a voice.

“Other than that, this Lando thing is a problem,” continued Sousuke, with a nod towards the body, “I know you said that there's no other zombies about right now, but he was with other people. There were three of them in this car that went past a while ago. I got the impression they'd been travelling around for a while. They seemed to think that Iwatobi would be their safe haven, even after Makoto and me told them that was bull. It's been some time since then, but not long enough that Lando could have walked all the way back from Iwatobi if they got there, not as a zombie anyway. So there's a chance something got to him between here and there. Maybe he drank some infected water without boiling it first, but I doubt they'd be so careless. The other option is that they had a run-in with zombies of course... If that's the case then we won't be safe here forever. Not that we were anyway, but I had hoped we'd be left alone. Though you'd know if something was coming. Would you be able to tell us in enough time for us to pack up and go?”

He looked at Haru and was faced with hesitation. It only took him a moment to figure out what the problem was.

“Would it depend on how fast we got our arses into gear?” he corrected.

That time Haru nodded. Sousuke smirked despite himself. Even the zombie knew how hopeless they all were.

“I'd make sure everyone was ready,” he promised, “We have grown complacent here, but not any more. When I go back I'll make sure we have supplies ready to grab and run if we ever need to. And don't worry, we won't be leaving you behind if that happens.”

It'd be nice to think that Haru appreciated the gesture, but there was no way that Sousuke could tell. He looked at Haru, trying to tell if there was any way that his expression could change beyond the blank indifference he'd gotten used to. Heck, if nothing else Haru didn't need facial expressions to convey sarcasm as well as he wanted. Like when they were fighting off Lando and Sousuke had accidentally put the axe through his-

...Oh.

Sousuke redirected his gaze to Haru's shoulder, which had a neat cut in it from the axe. It wasn't bleeding at all and it didn't seem deep enough to cause any real damage to Haru's arm, but it was still a cut all the same.

Without thinking about it, Sousuke got to his feet.

“I'm going to see to that,” he said, “Just let me get some thread from back at the house.”

That should do the trick, surely. Maybe it was pointless, but Sousuke at least felt responsible enough to want to do what he could to make up for it. There was a sewing kit in the cottage that both Sousuke and his mother had been using to repair their clothes then they needed to. It would do the job.

He turned and headed back to the house, dreading what he was going to find there. But the only one left was his mother, sat on a chair out on the porch. She told him that Kisumi and Hayato had gone down to the hot springs, because Kisumi was still shaken, and that Makoto had gone back out hunting, since his prize catch from earlier had gone to Haru. Other than that, she knew that Sousuke wasn't in the mood to talk, so she let him get the sewing kit and go again without questioning him. Honestly, Sousuke appreciated his mother so much in times like these. If the impossible happened and they made it out of this, then he'd see to it that she'd be the best cared for as long as they both lived...

When he got back through to the clearing, Haru was inspecting Lando's body, but he hadn't touched it at all. Well, looking on the bright side, at least it meant that Haru had a supply of food for a while. Though Sousuke didn't know what he did with it. Haru's weight never altered at all and Sousuke had never seen him... well, he'd never seen any waste. Part of Sousuke just assumed that as soon as something got inside of him it burned up via... some kind of zombie acid or whatever. Because none of the zombies seemed to change, they just had the desire to eat.

It must be awful. Haru at least seemed to have enough of a lid on it to regulate when and what he ate, but did he just constantly have the same urges that other zombies did?

“Hey, sit down so I can stitch you up,” Sousuke called across.

For a moment he could tell that Haru was judging him, trying to make up his mind if he should be defiant or not. But Sousuke's stare seemed to be enough to convince him, so he sat back down against the tree and waited for Sousuke to come over.

Haru stayed still as Sousuke crouched down next to him and didn't even flinch when he started sewing into his skin. He probably didn't feel anything, Sousuke knew. Heck, he probably couldn't even feel the injury itself.

“This is pointless, isn't it?” Sousuke asked, when he was halfway through.

A small nod from Haru, though he didn't move his head too much, so not to disturb Sousuke as he worked.

“Well, it makes me feel better, so maybe it's not pointless for me,” Sousuke insisted.

That time he didn't get a response, so he assumed that Haru was just going to let him believe whatever he wanted. And if delusions that he'd done the right thing were the last thread that helped Sousuke get to sleep tonight, then he wasn't going to deny himself that prospect. So he carried on, stitching away. At one point Haru's head shifted slightly, but Sousuke was too engrossed in his work to check why. Perhaps he'd just seen a boar in the distance or something like that.

It wasn't until Sousuke had finished, sat back and stretched that he realised what Haru had looked at. Because as he tilted his head back he found that Makoto was standing right behind him.

“You're getting good at sneaking up on people. All that hunting practise must be paying off,” Sousuke complimented. The other clue it had paid off was that he had a pheasant slung over his shoulder.

“I have you to thank for that. As well as for... everything else,” Makoto said, crouching down to sit next to Sousuke.

“You're not still angry about this morning?” Sousuke checked.

“Eh. I was being unreasonable, as always...” admitted Makoto, “It's not your fault that someone has to set us right.”

“Don't change the way you are, don't stop getting angry,” Sousuke heard himself say, “Maybe we keep making all of this awkward for ourselves, but the part of you that gets angry is the part of you that's human. As soon as we all accept this without question, the sooner we've all become too cold. I don't want you to be that way.”

“So you think of yourself as too cold?” Makoto asked, shuffling in closer. His eyes looked sympathetic and Sousuke almost couldn't bear it.

“Someone has to become like this. And I don't want it to be anyone else,” replied Sousuke, with a shrug.

“And what if I don't want it to be y- ...actually no, that's not fair. It's too late for that anyway,” Makoto said. He gave a sigh; “I've said this before, but I'm glad you're here, even if I wish we all didn't have to go through this.”

“We keep repeating ourselves because there's little left to say. Saying the same things over and over,” Sousuke mused, “At least this morning will give us something new to talk about for a while.”

“God, you're right...” Makoto said. It seemed like he wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. So he settled for something else, “Maybe we should... make other things to talk about.”

Sousuke snorted; “What could you make around here? Unless you where planning on taking up wood whittling.”

“I guess I could... do, um...”

It was hard to say why, but Makoto was hesitating. He was nervous about something. In his usual comforting fashion, Sousuke raised an eyebrow at him. Which seemed to do the trick.

“Stop that...” Makoto warned.

“Stop what?” asked Sousuke. It'd be different if he was teasing Makoto on purpose, but he was genuinely confused right now.

“Stop being so...” Makoto gestured towards all of Sousuke, which didn't make the situation any less confusing.

“Sure, I'll try to stop being so me if that's what you want,” vowed Sousuke. Even if only a moment ago Makoto had said that he was glad of Sousuke being the way that he was. He should just make up his mind.

“No, I mean that- ...Ah, you know what? I'm never going to be able to say it right,” Makoto sighed.

At that point, Sousuke felt as if he'd half-clicked about what Makoto was getting at.

“If it's about us, then believe me, anything you say will be welcom-”

He was cut off. Because Makoto had lent forwards and kissed him. It wasn't even that big of a gesture. After all of the build up and dancing around it that they'd done, part of Sousuke expected a huge and passionate moment. Yet they lived in a world where most of the life and optimism had been sucked out of it. In such a place, this small kiss from Makoto meant more than all the grandest expressions of love that anyone could give. Because it said what they'd both been wanting to say for a while – _that I like you and, even if everything's shit, I want you to know that._ By the time they pulled away, Sousuke felt warmer than even the heat of the sun had made him feel.

They looked into each other's eyes... Sousuke had to say something! But the smirk that Makoto was giving him made it clear that his face was saying more than his mouth could anyway.

It was Makoto that spoke first.

“That could have gone terribly if I'd misread you this whole time,” he chuckled.

“Nah, you had a pretty good read on me,” assured Sousuke, finding his voice again now that Makoto had set the stage, “So does this mean... I mean, I'd like to if you would, but would it even be okay?”

“Doubt anyone back at the cottage would have a problem with it,” Makoto replied, “I reckon your mother's been expecting us to hook up for a while.”

“She knows me,” Sousuke agreed, “So then... do you want to?”

“I love that you have to ask, even though you already know the answer,” teased Makoto. Then he thrust the pheasant he'd been holding towards Sousuke; “Here. Take this back to cottage. I feel like sitting out here for a while. We can meet up after dinner and I'll give you my answer.”

“You're so difficult,” Sousuke replied, “And I'm glad that you are.”

He took the pheasant and then got to his feet. Only then did he remember that they'd just acted out the last few minutes in front of Haru. But when he turned to look at him, it seemed that Haru at least had the decency to pretend he hadn't been watching.

“I'll see you at dinner,” said Sousuke, looking down at Makoto, “...And then after.”

Makoto nodded in response, giving a small smile that Sousuke felt right down to the pit of his stomach. It was too much. So he turned to leave, heading off out of the clearing before he could say anything else that might embarrass himself.

Once he was into the cover of the trees, he heard Makoto talking to Haru. It probably hadn't meant to be something that Sousuke was supposed to hear, but his voice carried across all the same.

“Are you... happy for me, Haru?”

Sousuke turned his head back in time to see Haru nodding. Suddenly he felt a lot better about their situation. And he hoped that Makoto did, too.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a short while, Sousuke and Makoto are allowed to have something that they both want and deserve, be damned to whenever the universe catches up with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say a big thank you, both to Bricker for drawing some amazing fan art for this fic and also to Starryamber for always leaving such thoughtful comments - both of you are better than the fic itself, haha! But seriously, it's this kind of encouragement that's helped me keep going with this fic and I'm so glad that the SouMako community is such a welcoming part of the fandom.

The only conclusion Sousuke could reach was that he lived with a family of trolls. Ones that were completely unfair, for that matter, because Makoto had gotten none of this treatment when he'd left. Soon after dinner, Makoto had said he was heading out without even an excuse to justify where he was going and none of them had batted an eyelid.

But when Sousuke said he was also going out a little while later, it was all knowing smirks from Kisumi and his mother. Hayato was the only one who didn't think twice about it, since he didn't know what was going on. Yet somehow the other two did, even though neither Sousuke nor Makoto had said anything about it. They'd only been maybe-dating for a few hours and everyone was already onto them. It was a good thing the two of them had no intention of keeping this secret once they'd figured out exactly what was going on between them, because Sousuke couldn't be bothered with sneaking around about this kind of thing.

“Thank you for washing up before you leave,” his mother said. That was the worst part, they knew that he knew they knew, so they weren't going to say anything directly about it.

“No problem,” Sousuke grunted.

“Want to take a torch? It's pretty dark out,” Kisumi asked.

“It's fine,” said Sousuke.

“Well, as long as you can see what you're doing,” Kisumi agreed.

They were acting like a couple of high school students! Sousuke wasn't going to put up with this. So he turned and headed towards the door before he could say anything else that might incriminate him.

When he got there, his mother called over to him; “Sousuke, you really should take care out there. I don't want any of us to be caught off-guard if there's more of them about.”

“Haru said that there wasn't. Well, he didn't 'say' it, but you get the idea. We're fine for now,” Sousuke replied.

“If you say so,” his mother answered, with the same kind of general disbelief that he knew he'd inherited from her.

“I do. So... don't wait up for us, okay?” Sousuke said.

After that he could almost feel their silent smirks on the back of his head, so he shuffled out awkwardly without waiting for a response. Part of him wanted to stubbornly insist that whatever happened between him and Makoto was none of their business, but given that it was just the six of them (he included Haru) at the end of the world, they didn't have much else to talk about besides each other. If Sousuke and Makoto were providing the gossip right now then that was just something they had to put up with.

As he headed out into the darkness, Sousuke realised that they hadn't arranged where to meet up, but thankfully he found Makoto was waiting just beyond the clearing, loitering around the trees and looking about as uncomfortable as Sousuke felt.

“So do they know?” he asked, when Sousuke walked over.

“Definitely,” Sousuke replied, “You got lucky, they let you go without any hassle. I had to deal with their knowing faces.”

“Poor you,” Makoto chuckled.

Hearing him laugh like that made Sousuke feel light. He realised how petty he was being to get caught up in what the others knew about them. If he was going to get to spend some time with Makoto where they weren't killing anything or being sad about killing anything, then surely that was what mattered. It was going to be a good night.

“So where are we going?” he checked, as the two of them started to walk down the trail without a clear direction in mind.

“You mean to say you're taking me out and you haven't even got a date spot in mind?” teased Makoto, “You're not the romantic I thought you were, Yamazaki.”

“Might as well clear out all of your delusions early. Saves disappointment later,” said Sousuke, “But seriously, we're pretty limited for what we can do here. I mean, there's the graves were we buried the family, the remains of the bonfire where we burned them up on the road, a tree with a zombie tied to it if you'd like an audience or some hot springs that we're not entirely sure aren't infected. Take your pick.”

“When you put it that way, maybe we should just walk for a while, see where our feet take us,” Makoto suggested, “Nice night for it, at least.”

“Yeah,” replied Sousuke.

To him, it could have been pouring down burning rocks from the sky and as long as he got to be with just Makoto for a while it would still be a nice night. Now if only he knew how to put that into words that didn't sound even more dreadful out loud than they did in his head. It seemed that the only language Sousuke had a decent grasp on was sarcasm, though luckily for him Makoto kind of liked that. Maybe he appreciated the bluntness after a lifetime of complications.

They walked together in companionable silence for a while and in many ways it wasn't unlike a lot of other times they'd gone out like this together. But the big difference was that this time they were... well, not together in that sense, Makoto hadn't given his answer yet, but their feelings were at least out in the open instead of hanging thick in the air like they had been before today.

He wanted to ask so badly what Makoto's answer was, even if they both already knew it, but now wasn't the right time. Part of him did feel as if they should go to some special place, even if he'd already established that there weren't any. They both knew the immediate area around the cottage too well by now and going too far away, into unknown territory, was foolish when neither of them were all that prepared for what they might find.

So they just walked, until eventually Makoto stopped. He stared up at a tree, where what looked like some kind of owl had just taken off to fly away. Sousuke wouldn't have paid it any mind otherwise, since they weren't out looking for food, but it seemed to have prompted something in Makoto.

“Hey, so... I'm much better at hunting than I was before, right?” he asked.

“Yeah. You are. I mean, you couldn't even hold a gun before, but now you bring something back almost daily,” Sousuke said.

Makoto turned his eyes towards Sousuke. He was grinning.

“You didn't know how to hold a gun back then either, but you still stood behind me and acted like you did,” he said.

“So you figured me out,” Sousuke replied. No point in denying it.

“Only ages back. But I'm glad that you acted like you were an expert for my sake, even if you were lying. I needed that at the time,” assured Makoto, “So how nervous were you when we were stood there like that? I've been dying to know.”

Sousuke snorted; “Pretty damn nervous. Not about the gun, I knew we'd figure that out, but back then I was just starting to get stuck in the mess of whatever it is you do to me. Still not sure if we'll figure that one out.”

“Might as well make a start,” Makoto offered.

Even if Sousuke couldn't see his own face, from the way Makoto looked at him he could imagine it was quite a picture. He hated how he suddenly became expressive at the worst of times.

“So... do you want to... I dunno, it seems weird to say go out, but you know what I mean,” Sousuke asked.

“Yes, Sousuke, I would like to 'you know what I mean',” laughed Makoto, who clearly had the upper-hand in all of this, “Let's just not make this complicated. We have enough complicated in our lives. You like me and I like you, so we can at least try out dating for a while. I... want it to work out.”

“Me too,” Sousuke replied, a little too quickly, “I mean... well, I don't know what I mean, but I do mean my feelings for you.”

“I can tell,” assured Makoto, “Been able to for a while now. Even if I couldn't figure you out right away.”

“Eh, I still can't figure you out even now,” Sousuke admitted, “But I'm going to keep trying, for the rest of my life, if I can help it.”

“Slow down there. That sounds like a lot of commitment for a first date,” said Makoto. He was still laughing though, so Sousuke must have said something right.

“Yeah... um, sorry. When I fall for someone I... fall hard, I've been told,” he mumbled.

“Kisumi said as much. And from what I saw of you and Rin, I kind of already knew that,” replied Makoto, “I'm glad that you think I'm worth those feelings.”

“You're worth so much. Anyone could tell you that and probably put it in better words than I could,” said Sousuke.

“Your words come from the heart though,” replied Makoto. He reached forward to place his hand in Sousuke's own. A jolt of electricity seemed to shoot through Sousuke's being.

“I just wish they didn't stumble getting out of the gate,” he murmured, before said words could dry up again over the sheer shock of contact from Makoto.

“It's fine...” Makoto whispered.

Which didn't seem like a very convincing argument to Sousuke, but then he realised that was because Makoto didn't want to carry on with the debate. Instead Makoto pressed forward and... oh god, why was Sousuke so nervous? They'd already done this earlier today, so it shouldn't be that hard. Even if Sousuke had been taken off-guard back then and right now he had more time to... to... prepare? He didn't even know. And before he could figure it out, Makoto got in there, kissing him for considerably longer than he had done before. That part Sousuke found he could figure out. He pulled his hand away from Makoto's, instead wrapping both of his arms around him to pull him close. He just wanted to hold this man tightly until the end of the world. However far off or close that might be.

They carried on for longer than Sousuke kept track, before Makoto eventually pulled away so they could both catch their breath. Makoto looked so... ruffled right now, even though they hadn't done very much. It was a look that Sousuke had never seen from him before. And he wanted to see it so much more...

...Sousuke pressed in again, both of them more ready for it this time. He heard himself moaning ever so slightly, which was apparently too much for Makoto, who broke away just long enough to swear into Makoto's mouth, before going back to what they were doing. Makoto's hands were gripping at his back now, it was unbearable. Yet Sousuke didn't let go.

Without breaking away, he took a step back, knowing they were close to some trees that they could lean against for support. But he misjudged the distance and slipped backwards, with Makoto being pulled down along with him as he fell to the ground. Suddenly he was flat on his arse and the uncomfortable stinging pain wasn't helping with the uncomfortable everything else.

“F-fuck...” he muttered, as they broke away, “Are you all right...?”

“Yeah, I'm fine...” assured Makoto, still sounding breathless, “How about you...? You're the one that hit the ground. I had... um, you to cushion my fall.”

“Eh. I'll live. Feel worse that it killed the mood, to be honest...” Sousuke replied.

That was when Makoto sat up to right himself. Suddenly Sousuke found he was worried that Makoto might leave, but that wasn't what happened. Instead Makoto lowered himself back down, close to Sousuke's face. His eyes were wicked and Sousuke realised that Makoto's hand was creeping up his side, under his shirt.

Damn this guy.

“It hasn't killed the mood,” Makoto purred.

Then before Sousuke could reply, they were kissing again. Out on the bumpy forest ground, which felt fitting, after everything. And Sousuke didn't want it to stop. He wanted more and more of everything. They would have tonight. If nothing else, they would always have tonight. Sousuke would never forget. Surely Makoto wouldn't either.

Whatever tomorrow would bring, they had somehow managed to find each other now.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Sousuke and Makoto return to the cottage, Sousuke falls into an uneasy dream, with noises that can't be real.

It was still dark by the time that Sousuke and Makoto stumbled back into the cottage, so they couldn't have been out for as long as it seemed like they had. Not that it mattered since, to Sousuke, it had felt like the perfect amount of time. If he could have a few more nights with Makoto like this one then he'd definitely not be complaining.

At least it seemed that the others had listened to him when he said not to wait up, as Sousuke counted three bodies in their various makeshift beds around the corners of the living room. No one stirred, despite the noise that Sousuke and Makoto made when they came in. And now that Makoto realised how nervous Sousuke was about waking them up, he started to silently laugh into his hands. Sousuke could see his shoulders shaking up and down. It was ridiculous. But the angrier he pretended to look, the worse Makoto became, until Sousuke was also trying not to laugh along with him.

“You'll wake everyone up...!” he silently hissed at Makoto.

“Then you stop, too,” replied Makoto.

Sousuke shook his head at him and then made his way over to one of the actual beds, which had been left free for them tonight. He shrugged off his jacket and then climbed into it, noticing that Makoto had followed him, which he'd admittedly hoped that he would. It'd mean they'd have to explain themselves to the others tomorrow, but then again it seemed that Kisumi and his mother already knew anyway. Now that Sousuke and Makoto had a definite answer about what was going on between them, he didn't see any point in hiding it.

So the two of them climbed into bed together, a lot more innocently than they'd been in the forest earlier, and Sousuke put his arms around Makoto, holding him tight. Which prompted another chuckle from Makoto, but of a different kind to the teasing laughter from just before. It made Sousuke feel weird in his stomach, though that statement could have been a summary for his feelings towards Makoto all on its own.

They were here now and they were safe. With that thought securely in mind, Sousuke let himself realise how tired he actually was. He wanted to stay up to revel in the two of them just being here for a while longer, but his eyes had grown heavy. As he fought to keep them open, he noticed Makoto was watching him, smiling warmly. He tried to smile back, but by that point he was already well on the way to being out of commission. He would... smile at Makoto... tomorrow...

...His subconscious took control of the wheel and shifted him to a place that seemed to make perfect sense at the time. He was back at the shop, back at the place he'd once called home. His mother was there, as always, sat behind the counter with a newspaper and a look of indifference. She asked him to deliver a parcel to one of the neighbours, which was a job that Sousuke had often done when he was a kid. She said that his dad would have done it, but he was busy in the garden right now, so it would have to be Sousuke. Not that Sousuke minded, he took the parcel and then headed out of the shop, his old childhood bicycle seeming to materialise beneath him as he left. He didn't question it.

Sousuke rode the bike down the street, seeing faces that he recognised as they went past. Many of the people he'd grown up with. But no Rin and no Kisumi. Maybe he'd call on them later. But then... Rin was in Australia now, wasn't he?

Before Sousuke could think too hard on that, a house came into view that wasn't like any of the others. It was shabby and old. Which was strange, because he recalled it looking better before. It stood out amongst the rest of the pristine street. The door was wide open, some of the windows were broken in and out in the garden stood an old lady, sweeping as if she hadn't notice any of this.

They always avoided the old lady. She was grumpy and yelled at them for hanging about. Which often made Rin yell right back at her and then they'd run away before she could go get the gun that everyone claimed she had. Except that now Sousuke had the gun, he realised. And as if it was the most normal thing in the world, he wanted to thank her for it.

The bike seemed to have disappeared. Sousuke opened the gate, just like he had done on that day when he'd taken the gun, and walked up the garden towards the old lady, who only stopped to look at him as he got close.

“We took your shotgun,” he said, “It's helped a lot. So... thank you.”

She didn't say anything and it was hard to tell from her face exactly how she felt about his admission of theft. But that was when a noise reached Sousuke's ears from inside the house. A low sound, like... _chukka-chukka-chukka..._ repeating over and over.

“What's that?” he asked.

“Just the cat,” said the old lady, “She's going to be sick again. Must have eaten something bad.”

“Don't you want to stop her?” Sousuke said.

“I do, but I can't move that fast. It's easier just to let her be sick and then clean up after her later,” she answered.

“Maybe I could stop her-”

That was when the noise grew much louder. Before Sousuke knew what was happening, the cat had ran out of the open front door, the same _chukka-chukka-chukka_ repeating as she heaved her head, ready to be sick, yet she didn't stop running. Sousuke realised in that moment that he didn't know a lot about cats. The cat ran, the noise was unbearable, then she went by him and was gone down the road before he could catch her, the noise following along with her.

There was no way the old lady could have stopped that. She was too frail and she was all alone. Everyone was scared of her because she was angry, but she needed help. Why had nobody seen that? Why had nobody made the effort?

But Sousuke would. He knew better now. So he turned towards the old lady, who was watching him, and opened his mouth to say that he'd help her from now on. He'd come visit and make sure she was all right. But suddenly the words felt heavy. Reality was taking a grip on him once more. The old lady, the house, the cat and her noise, all disappeared in a hazy swirl as he opened his eyes into the pale blue light of the morning.

He jolted himself upwards, looking around to make sure he was still there. They were all in the cottage, all safe, with Makoto now sleeping soundly next to him, undisturbed by Sousuke's sudden movement and his limbs splayed about in different directions. He looked beautiful.

Before Sousuke could properly admire that, he realised that the noise from his dreams seemed to have persisted, like a very faint ringing. He looked towards the window and realised that Hayato was sat there. The only other person awake right now.

“...Whu wazzat...?” Sousuke muttered.

“Nothing, just animals outside,” Hayato replied, with a shrug.

Maybe Sousuke should have questioned that, should have realised that it can't have belonged to any animal, not even a cat trying to be sick, but he was... still too far gone at the moment. So he nodded, lay back down and before he knew it, he'd gone back to sleep. Maybe Hayato had even been part of the dream. Maybe none of this had happened at all, not really... But if he could see that old lady again, he could tell her that he would help her...

… Yet Sousuke didn't have any more dreams with the old lady in them after that.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the morning comes, Sousuke goes out to find Hayato and Kisumi without any reason to worry. At least not until he finds one without the other.

“I think it's a great idea,” Makoto said, though Sousuke suspected it was because he was too scared of his mother to disagree with her, “The more of us who can go out hunting the better, right?”

They were lucky that when they'd gotten up that morning none of the others had interrogated them about last night. They were the last ones awake – Kisumi and Hayato seemed to have gone out for a walk and his mother was sat out in her usual spot on the porch. When they'd gone outside, instead of asking them about what they'd been up to, she put forward the idea that she wanted to learn how to hunt, so she could be more usual. Not that Sousuke understood where she was coming from, since his mother did plenty for them already. She had no reason to not feel useful.

Yet when Makoto agreed with her, Sousuke knew that he had no chance in arguing against their combined power, so he resigned to agree.

“Okay, sure,” he said, “We've still got enough shells in the cottage to spare a few for this and it can't hurt for more of us to know how. So why don't you go show her how you hunt, Makoto?”

With some kind of twisted satisfaction, he watched Makoto's face fall. Maybe Sousuke was an awful person after all.

“But I thought... wouldn't it be better if you did it?” Makoto asked.

“You're the best when it comes to sneaking up on animals,” replied Sousuke, “And you put stuff into words better than me. She could learn a lot from you.”

Though the real reason was because Sousuke knew that if he went with his mother to teach her this, then the two of them would inevitably end up falling out over it somehow. They were both too stubborn. Whereas with Makoto, Sousuke knew that his mother would be more patient. Like many people, she seemed to believe that Makoto was this perfect angel who could do no wrong.

“If you say so,” said Makoto, “But what about you?”

“I'll go check up on Kisumi and Hayato, then probably head off for zombie duty. Someone's got to do it,” answered Sousuke.

“Right... well, we'll see you later,” Makoto mumbled.

“It'll be fine,” Sousuke's mother promised him, “We used to go camping when Sousuke was younger, but we never tried anything like this. I've always wanted to.”

She took the shotgun from Makoto's hands and he was powerless to stop her. With a last resigned look of self-pity towards Sousuke, he turned to leave with her, the two of them disappearing into the forest. Sousuke had a feeling that by the time they got back, his mother would know all about him and Makoto dating, having gotten it out of someone who couldn't lie to her. Maybe Sousuke had set himself up for that by letting the two of them do this without him, but he did feel they'd be better off not having the further risk of bickering if tempers got frayed.

Once they were gone, he set out to find the Shigino brothers, wandering in a different direction where to his mother and Makoto went. He decided to check by the hot springs first, since that was often one of Kisumi's usual haunts. But when he got there he only found one of the people he was looking for. Hayato was walking about, head darting here and there as if he was looking for Kisumi. The bottom dropped out of Sousuke's stomach as he realised that was probably exactly what he was doing.

“Hey, where's your brother?” he called over.

Hayato jumped, but then hurried across when he realised it was Sousuke.

“I don't know...” he said, “When I woke up, Kisumi was already gone. I, um, didn't want to disturb you guys, so I went out looking for him.”

Something seemed off to Sousuke. His brain started to whir and he realised that he vaguely remembered Hayato being sat at the window, up before anyone else that morning. Although maybe he'd just dreamed that?

“Weren't you already up before him?” he said, because it couldn't hurt to ask.

“I was, but I went back to sleep after you did,” said Hayato, who seemed to look troubled that Sousuke recalled that at all, “When I woke up again, Kisumi was gone.”

“He won't have gone far,” Sousuke replied, “In fact, I can take a good guess where he is if you want to go look.”

Hayato took hold of his hand as an answer and the two of them headed away from the hot springs, with Sousuke making a beeline for the clearing where Haru's tree was. If he knew Kisumi, then the one place he'd want to sneak off to was the place he'd been told that he couldn't go. And he did know Kisumi.

It didn't take them long to get there and they heard Kisumi before they saw him. Hayato gripped Sousuke's hand tighter as loud sobbing reached their ears. He urged them to hurry forward, but when Kisumi came into sight, he stopped abruptly before they were out of the cover of the trees. The sight was probably not one that a kid like Hayato should have seen of the brother he looked up to so much. Kisumi was doubled over on the ground, clutching at his hair and sobbing his heart out. Now that they were close enough, they could hear him talking. Loud, frantic muttering...

“...Shouldn't even be here...” Kisumi cried, “...So selfish... so awful... But I c-can't do this any more...! I've been t-trying so... so hard for everyone's sake... They all like it! Hayato l-likes it better h-here than back home... S-sousuke and Makoto h-have each other n-now... Noriko seems fine... Am I b-broken because I hate it...?”

He lifted his head up to look at Haru, who was watching him with the same unreadable expression as always.

“...Should be happy, right...?” Kisumi went on, with a tearful hiccup, “Could be much worse... could be back there, could be dead, c-could be... like you... B-but maybe if I was dead, if I'd died at the beginning... then I-I wouldn't have had to k-know that the world is like this now... Hayato would be fine with the others, right...? But I need to... to...”

After that, Kisumi fell to the ground crying again. Sousuke almost moved to go to him, but then Hayato tugged him to stop. When he looked down at him, Sousuke realised that Hayato was frozen in fear, his eyes wide and staring at Kisumi. While Sousuke was looking at Hayato, Kisumi started talking again. He turned to look back and saw that Kisumi had raised his head slightly once more.

“...Where's all this coming from, right...? I've been d-doing fine, right? I'm good at acting, r-right...!” he wailed at Haru, “Well... last night I h-had this dream... that a helicopter came... I heard it s-so loudly th-that I thought it was real, that people had come to rescue us...! But then I woke up... and we were here, just like always... There w-was no helicopter... No one is coming for us... Th-that was when I snapped... I had to go... J-just for a while... I want to be w-with you, who d-doesn't judge me... Or at least you c-can't say so if you do... I need to... to pull m-myself back together... Need to pretend it's all fine... There's no people coming...”

That was when Hayato let go of Sousuke's hand. But he didn't run towards Kisumi. Instead he ran away from him. Ran into the forest, as the guilt of what Sousuke just realised had happened took hold of him. There had been a helicopter.

Sousuke followed him. He tried to stay quiet as he ran, because he didn't want Kisumi to realise that they'd overheard him, as that wasn't Sousuke's place to say. That had to be between Kisumi and Hayato. Thankfully, because Sousuke was so much taller than Hayato and pretty damn athletic, it didn't take him long to catch up. He grabbed onto Hayato's arm, stopping him in his tracks. Hayato kicked at the ground and cried out in frustration, which Sousuke had never heard from him before. Then he looked up at Sousuke, with fat tears forming in his eyes.

“It's my fault! I did this to him!” he shouted, “We could have been saved, b-but I didn't want to go... I thought we were all happy here... But now Kisumi is... is like this, because of me...”

“That's not true,” said Sousuke. He crouched down to be level with Hayato; “It's not your fault Kisumi is sad. You didn't poison our water, did you? It wasn't you that caused the zombie outbreak and that's why Kisumi is sad.”

“But someone could have come saved us...” Hayato mumbled.

Sousuke shrugged; “Maybe you should have said something, but the helicopter would have passed over before we were all awake anyway. There's nothing you could have done. Nothing any of us could have done.”

“...Well that's just terrible advice.”

When Sousuke looked up, he saw that Makoto and his mother were walking out from between the trees. They had nothing with them except the shotgun, but then Sousuke supposed that they hadn't actually been away for very long. Hayato must have stumbled across the area near them by mistake.

“It's true though,” said Sousuke, as he drew himself up to stand again, “We can't blame Hayato for what happened.”

“I didn't mean that part,” said Makoto, with a dismissive wave of his hand, “I meant the part about there being nothing that any of us can do. That's a terrible thing to tell a kid, Sousuke.”

Part of Sousuke was surprised, because he'd always been led to believe that he was good with kids. He didn't have much experience with them, but that was part of the reason why he just talked to them the same way he did anyone and they seemed to appreciate that. Kids didn't like being talked down to, especially not one as bright as Hayato. But then... maybe it was more a case of Sousuke's opinion being wrong...? He did have a pessimistic outlook on all of this, because he'd had to be that way to help them survive. Hayato himself had admitted that he'd singled out Sousuke and his mother as being the best people for him to learn from in this situation, so Sousuke should have taken that as a cue to become a better role-model. He didn't want Hayato to end up losing faith completely.

That was where someone like Makoto was probably a better influence...

“There's always something we can do,” Makoto assured Hayato, smiling at him, “We can build an S.O.S. out of rocks, we can light a fire in the cottage and keep the smoke going for if they come back. There's so much we can do, okay? Never doubt that there's something you can do, Hayato.”

Hayato surged forward to hug Makoto's legs, crying loudly once again. Makoto patted him on the back, giving him a few moments before he went on.

“How about we go back to Kisumi now? You and me. We can try to cheer him up,” Makoto suggested.

All he got was a nod in reply. Then Hayato pulled away, took Makoto's hand and tugged him back towards where they'd come from. He did look back at Sousuke with a small smile, which Sousuke returned, but then the two of them were gone. Leaving Sousuke and his mother on their own.

“That was... fast,” Sousuke said, “I don't know how you ever managed to raise a kid if it all happens in that much of a whirlwind.”

“Some of it goes fast, some of it goes slow,” reasoned his mother, “Honestly, I don't think I did as good of a job as your Makoto might do, but your father and I tried our best. And you turned out all right.”

“If you say so,” Sousuke replied, “Now we've just got to make sure that kid turns out all right as well, don't we?”

“I have a feeling that he'll be fine,” said his mother, “Why don't we go get started on those S.O.S. signals? It'll give all of them hope if we do it, especially Kisumi.”

“Especially Kisumi, yeah...” Sousuke echoed.

Inside himself he'd already decided that it was pointless, but for everyone's sake he needed to act as if it wasn't. That was just what life was all about, wasn't it? So he walked back to the house with his mother, ready to light the fire, even though they had nothing to cook.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And as they call out for help, the monsters come to take Sousuke's family away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're close to the ending now! Only the epilogue and then a one-shot sequel story to go after this. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this.

They all sat out on the porch, watching the almost clear smoke drift up into the afternoon sky. It was probably too light for it to be seen from far off and it made the cottage too warm for them to sit inside, but it had given them hope. Just like the mismatched rocks they'd used to spell out S.O.S. in the clearing had done.

Kisumi was with them now. He'd spent a long time trying not to cry and apologising for it, but everyone assured him it was all right and eventually he seemed to believe them. Weirdly, what had helped was something that Sousuke would have expected to make it worse, which was talking about what they'd all do if they somehow made it out of this and back into a civilisation that wasn't filled with zombies. Kisumi talked animately about how he wouldn't waste a single second, he'd make sure Hayato had the best of everything, he'd spend as much time as he could with the friends he still had and also go out to make new friends, so he could appreciate all the people that the world had to offer. As he talked, Sousuke was reminded that Kisumi was at his best when around other people, which was why being here had led him to reach an all-time low. If only for Kisumi's sake, Sousuke suddenly hoped they could make it out somehow.

After Kisumi was done talking, they went around the circle. Hayato was sat next to Kisumi, curled up at his side. He said that what he wanted to do was help as many people as he could, so he would learn how to do that if he was given the chance, which sounded a lot like what Makoto had said to him that morning.

Next was Sousuke's mother, who shrugged and said that she was getting old, so as long as she could be somewhere safe and get to keep an eye on them, she was happy.

Sousuke wasn't old, yet he felt the same way that she did. When it was his turn, he realised that he didn't know what to say. He hadn't put much thought into it, because after that night when they'd had their run-in with Lando's car he'd decided that it would never happen. It was just them and the mountain, with thankfully as few zombies as possible. To Sousuke, that was fine. But he knew that if he said that, well, it wasn't the answer that the others wanted to hear. It wouldn't be right for him to bring the mood down.

“I guess I'd just wait and see what happened when I got there.” That was the best answer he could give. So he turned to look at Makoto, who was next to him, “What about you?”

“Hmm?” Makoto mumbled.

It was then that Sousuke realised Makoto wasn't listening. He was staring out in the direction of Sano and, beyond that, Iwatobi. Now that the focus was on him, the others joined in looking at the sky and they realised why it had caught his attention.

There was a speck in the distance, up in the air. It looked like it was moving.

“That's it, isn't it?” Makoto said, his voice quiet and breathless.

...And Sousuke realised that it was. Everyone reacted in a different way. His mother got up, grabbed more logs from the pile and hurried inside to throw them onto the fire, to make the smoke signal stronger. Kisumi and Hayato danced around. Kisumi picked up Hayato and spun him in a circle, with the two of them laughing as hard as they'd been crying earlier.

Yet Makoto... stayed sat with Sousuke, looking up at the speck in the sky. He reached across and put a hand on Sousuke's knee, stroking it lightly. Somehow he knew what Sousuke was thinking.

“We have to do what's best for everyone,” Makoto said, quietly enough for only Sousuke to hear him.

“I know,” assured Sousuke.

In time, the helicopter came closer, with Sousuke never having let it out of his sight, just in case looking away from it stopped it from being real. They couldn't just see it now though, they could hear it too, with the same noise from last night sounding much clearer than it had done in Sousuke's sleep-addled state. He had no idea how he'd managed to mistake it for a cat, but right now it couldn't be anything else.

Kisumi and Hayato shouted for it, even though it couldn't hear them. But it turned out that they didn't need to. It knew they were there. It was coming for them.

There wasn't much space in the clearing, but the helicopter somehow managed, even despite the rocks they'd arranged. It hovered just above the ground, probably to avoid damage. All of them backed away when it lowered itself. They pressed up against the cottage as best they could. The smoke from the chimney was being battered every which way now. It was chaotic.

Then... the door on the side of the helicopter was pulled open and... people came out. Actual people. They were dressed in uniform and as they ran over to them, Sousuke realised that not just Kisumi and Hayato, but also his mother was trying not to get too upset. They were going to be saved. They were going to leave this place.

...So why did Sousuke feel bad about that?

“Are you safe?” a man called over to them, as they got near.

“We're not infected,” Sousuke replied.

“That's good,” said the man, “The girl we found in Iwatobi said there were people here, but we were worried it'd be too late.”

“Girl...?” Kisumi mumbled.

“She said that she saw two of you guys while she was travelling through with her friends, but that there might have been more,” the man clarified.

“From the car!” gasped Makoto, “Yeah, we did see them sometime ago. There were two women and a man, though the man must have gotten infected, because we found him wandering in the forest as a zombie. Didn't... both of the women make it?”

“Afraid not. There were two of them when they sent out the distress signal, yet when we got there one of them had turned. So there's just this poor girl, but she told us about all of you. Lucky for you guys, since we flew right over here this morning and assumed the cottage was empty,” he said.

“You could have checked,” Kisumi tutted.

“No can do. It's too risky just to stop in any old place and we wanted to get to that distress signal while there was still someone to save. She must have been the last person alive in Iwatobi, so they would have gotten her if we'd dawdled,” dismissed the man, “But we're here now, so tell us what we need to know. You're not infected, so we can take you onboard. Though if you're lying and one of you turns during the flight, then I'll gladly kick you out of the door myself, no matter how high up we are. Anyway, is this all of you?”

“No...” Makoto answered, “No, it's not...”

The blood inside Sousuke froze over as he realised what Makoto meant. Suddenly he sharply recalled that day when Haru had wandered into their lives as a zombie. If Sousuke hadn't voted to bring him with them, then Makoto would have stayed behind with Haru at that bus shelter.

So right now...

“...I'll go,” Makoto said. He didn't look at Sousuke, but he must have known what he was thinking, “I've put you all at risk over this for too long, so I... won't do that again. I won't make you worry. I'll come with you all to safety. Haru will... understand... He wants what's best for us...”

“Makoto...” Kisumi whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder.

The man looked between them, clearly confused; “Is there another person you're not planning on bringing?” he asked.

“Yes. He's infected,” Sousuke's mother answered, “He turned at the start of all this, but he's been travelling with us. We've... kept a good eye on him and he's mostly safe.”

“Mostly safe? That's the first I've heard of a zombie being like that,” commented one of the women in the group, “But you're right that if he's infected then we couldn't bring him with us anyway.”

“Can I... go say goodbye to him...?” asked Makoto, “I could... untie him and let him know we... won't be back.”

“Sorry, but no. Just in case he bites you,” said the man.

“Haru would never...!” Makoto protested, “You don't understa- ...Actually, no... you're right. I said that I wouldn't put you all at any more risk, so I'm not going to...”

That was when something shifted inside of Sousuke. Makoto's sense of doing what was right should perfectly align with Sousuke's own. They all wanted to get out of here alive. Even though Makoto didn't want to leave Haru and Sousuke didn't want to leave at all. Sousuke didn't want to leave. He repeated that to himself with a firm realisation.

He wasn't going anywhere.

“No, that's not fair,” he said, which caused all of the others to turn to look at him, “Haru is part of our family. If he can't go then I won't leave him behind.”

“But this could be our only chance...” Makoto said.

“Maybe so, but all the same, I won't go. Not until someone finds a way to take Haru as well,” stated Sousuke. He looked towards Kisumi, who stared at him through fearful eyes; “You have to go though. And you have to take Hayato with you. Because this... all of this is wrong for you, Kisumi. You need to be somewhere that's safe and full of people. Somewhere that you can raise Hayato right.”

Kisumi fought back the tears. Yet he looked stronger than he had done in months. Sousuke had lit a fire behind his eyes and there was no stopping Kisumi now.

“You're right. We'll have to go,” he said. Then he looked down at Hayato and added, “I know that you don't want to, I know that you kind of like it here, but we can't pass up this chance. Then maybe one day we can come back, when the world has a cure for Haru...”

Hayato nodded; “...I'll go. I'll go and do everything that I can until we can come back.”

Deep down inside Sousuke and Kisumi, they both knew that he'd never come back, that this was the end. The final goodbye. But Sousuke wasn't going to kill this child's hope any more.

“We'll be waiting for you,” he promised, “Look after Kisumi for us, okay?”

That was when Sousuke's mother stepped forward. She'd been silent throughout most of this, she was silent very often, but she was going to say her peace now and Sousuke knew it. So he braced himself for what was coming.

“I'm going to go with them,” she said and, even though he'd half-expected that, it still hurt. She looked at Sousuke and continued, “It doesn't feel right, leaving my son behind, but you are good and strong. You have someone with you to look after you who is good and strong as well, who can do a better job of it than I can now. It's time for you to fly the nest, even if I'll be the one who's leaving. Because I'm old and I need to rest. I also need to look after Kisumi and Hayato more than I need to look after the two of you.”

Although Sousuke opened his mouth to say something, say anything that was meaningful in the last moments he spent with his mother, but none of the words came out. Instead he just staggered forward, grabbed her in a hug and cried into her shoulder. The others gave them a moment and Sousuke was thankful. He needed this. They both needed this.

When they pulled away, his mother was crying. Which was perhaps the first time Sousuke had seen her do so.

“I'm proud of you everyday,” she told him, “And I'm going to keep being proud of you for as long as I live.”

“You'll live for a long time,” predicted Sousuke, “Not even a zombie apocalypse could take you out, mother. You're made of strong stuff.”

“It's the Yamazaki way,” she concluded. Then she took a step back, “...This is goodbye then.”

“No, this is 'see you later',” Makoto vowed, “And I promise I'll look after Sousuke for you, okay?”

“He's lucky to have you,” she said, “In that case, I'll see you both later. We all will...”

It was too much for both Sousuke and his mother after that. They knew their feelings, but it was too hard to put them into words. So as his mother turned away, escorted towards the helicopter by a couple of the uniformed people, Sousuke just watched her go.

“Can you... tell Haru that I said goodbye? And thank him for always listening to me,” asked Kisumi, picking up Hayato.

“We'll tell him,” Makoto said, “I think that he'll miss you.”

“Maybe, but I was never his favourite person, was I? But... times change. People change,” Kisumi laughed.

“He liked you more than he let on. I'd know,” replied Makoto, “So you can leave knowing that and... also knowing that Haru will be in good hands. Just like we both know that Hayato will be with you and mother.”

“With Noriko more so than me, but I'll do my best,” Kisumi chuckled. It was a sad laugh though. For the moment, he'd put the mask back on where he pretended to be all right when he wasn't. They were all doing that right now. They could all let their feelings go later, once Kisumi, Hayato and Sousuke's mother were safely away in the helicopter...

...While Sousuke and Makoto were still here.

“Are you sure we can just leave them?” the woman who'd spoken earlier checked with the man who seemed to be in charge.

“We can't force anyone to come if they don't want to. But you two know that, once we leave, you'll have no way of getting in touch with us should you change your mind? Not unless you get to the radio tower in Iwatobi,” said the man.

“That's fine,” replied Makoto, “If you... ever find a way to help Haru as well, then you'll know where to find us.”

“We won't be coming back,” said the man, “Nothing anyone can do seems to help those who've been infected.”

“Well, maybe one day I'll be right and you'll be wrong,” hummed Makoto.

It was hard for Sousuke to hide his smirk as the man looked at Makoto with a slightly mystified sense of anger. No one ever expected Makoto to be so savage until it happened and then afterwards those who didn't know him had little idea how to deal with it. Heck, even those who did know him struggled at times.

“You all better get going then,” prompted Sousuke, before anyone could change their mind about their decisions.

“Right... well, take care, both of you,” said Kisumi.

“I'll see you when we come back,” Hayato added.

“Yeah, see you then,” agreed Makoto, with a distant smile.

“And don't let the world walk all over you. That goes for you as well, Kisumi,” said Sousuke. Because it seemed like good advice.

His mother was already on the helicopter now. Sousuke could just see her sat with the woman who'd been in the back of the car that night on the road, the one who they'd said was very ill. They were both wrapped in blankets and talking together, both of them crying. Even though Sousuke barely knew that woman at all, he knew that, just like them, she had lost a lot. And now... some of them were going to be all right.

Kisumi and Hayato walked away with the rest of the uniformed group, Hayato looked back over Kisumi's shoulder and waved the whole time. Makoto waved back at him, but as they got onto the helicopter, he took hold of Sousuke's hand and squeezed it hard.

“I would have gone with them... I still would, if you change your mind,” he said.

“Haru's one of us. It wouldn't be right to leave him,” Sousuke insisted, “I want to stay with him as much as you do now. So if he can't go, then neither will I.”

“But for them... it was right...” Makoto whispered.

“For them it was,” Sousuke agreed.

They watched the door of the helicopter be pulled shut, the final image that Sousuke had of his mother before she disappeared from sight. At the last moment, she looked up at him and he looked across at her. They both knew. They both accepted it.

Kisumi and Hayato sat at a window though, watching them until the helicopter took to the air again and moved up too high for Sousuke to see them any more. But Sousuke knew that they could still see him, so he stayed there with Makoto until the helicopter was gone, just a speck in the distant sky, headed away from Iwatobi, away from the mountain, away from them...

...It was over.

When Makoto turned to face him, Sousuke realised that he could hardly see him through the tears. And Makoto... he was the same way. They hugged each other tightly as the weight of their situation settled into them. It was just them now, but they... they would survive. They would manage.

He wasn't sure how long they were there like that for, but eventually Makoto spoke again. He whispered into Sousuke's ear. “...We should go untie Haru. There's no need to keep him there any more, is there?”

“You're right... Let's do that,” Sousuke agreed.

So they broke away and walked quietly to Haru's tree. The marks in the ground implied that he'd been tugging hard, try to get away. He must have known what was happening, must have known there was a chance that they'd all leave. But now he sat there, hunched over and staring out at them. They had stayed for him. He was seeing that they'd stayed for him.

“Have we got a lot to tell you, Haru,” said Makoto, talking more casually than any of them felt, “But first, let's get rid of that rope, okay?”

As Makoto walked over to untie him, Haru stayed completely still. He didn't move a muscle when Makoto took the rope away from his chest and a small part of Sousuke was on alert, just in case Haru did try to bolt. But he knew there was no need. Haru would never run from them or do anything that might hurt Makoto.

“There we go...” said Makoto, as the rope dropped the the ground with a dull thud. He stepped back, to give Haru some space.

But Haru did not move. He looked up at them, really looked up at them and then... he started to cough. It was a sound unlike any that Sousuke had ever heard from him before, nothing like the cry that he made to warn off other zombies. It was a rattling sound, like a punctured lung trying to grab at air as it made to escape. Which might have been exactly what was happening. The coughing went on for several long moments and Makoto took Sousuke's hand again, because neither of them knew what was happening. Yet then, amidst the broken noises, came a small voice that could only have been Haru.

_“...Th-than...nk... y-y-yo...ouuu...”_


	22. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The world has already ended twice in Sousuke's lifetime, but he's getting along just fine. Sure, everyday brings the curiosity of what he's lost, but he has Makoto and Haru, so that's what matters. It isn't as if his world's going to end for a third time, surely...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another big thank you for sticking with me through this story! I never expected it to do nearly as well as it has done and that makes me so happy. You've all made this so much more for me. Even though this is the end of Trail Mix, I will be posting a one-shot sequel called Prison Food, which I'll talk more about in the end notes. I hope you'll keep an eye out for that as well, but regardless, thank you for seeing the story through to the end. You're all great!

Every single day, Sousuke told himself that what had happened was real. As the days turned into weeks and then months and then years, it became harder to accept that there ever could have been a time when his mother, Kisumi and Hayato were with them. But there had been. Even if it had only been for a short while in comparison to how long Sousuke had been here now, bits of what happened leading up to when they left stayed so vividly in his mind. He would think about them each in turn, make himself remember that it was real, that they were real and they were... somewhere that Sousuke didn't know, but were probably doing just fine. They had to be. After what they'd been through, they deserved to be.

Yet for Sousuke, now his life wasn't them. Now his life was Makoto and Haru. The three of them living out in the mountains, hunting and surviving and never once thinking about that radio tower in Iwatobi that part of Sousuke wished he could have thought of all the way back at the start of the infection. It would have saved them a lot of time.

Though if Sousuke had taken Makoto to the radio tower, then they never would have found the others in Sano and they also would have left without knowing that there was any of Haru still in that zombie. As Haru stood chopping wood out in the clearing, Sousuke knew that he could never want a world where he and Makoto didn't take Haru with them.

_“...You co-ould... help... y-you kno-oww...”_ Haru rattled, turning his head to look at where Sousuke was sat on the porch. He spoke with much more clarity these days, though his voice was still shattered. At first he'd only said a few words every once in a while and had to build himself up to it, but now there were times when Sousuke could do with hearing less of him talk. Especially when he was just as sarcastic as ever.

“I could, but I'd rather just watch you get on with it,” Sousuke replied, able to dish out as much as Haru could in that department.

_“...Lazy...”_ Haru muttered.

“He's the one that cut down the tree, so he's not that lazy,” replied Makoto, who'd just come back from hunting.

Both of them perked up upon sight of Makoto, but it was Sousuke who got up and went over to hug him. It was always Sousuke. Because they'd... stayed together. And Haru wanted them to stay together. He'd told Sousuke as much.

“How'd it go?” Sousuke asked, as if he couldn't already see the fish that Makoto was carrying. Haru had long since assured them that the fish from the river were safe to eat.

“Same as every day. One for each of us. I can even cook yours if you want, Haru?” Makoto said, looking over Sousuke's shoulder at where Haru was stood with his growing pile of chopped wood.

_“...Th-thee-ere's no n-need...”_ said Haru, _“...It'sss... fii...ine raw...”_

“To think you used to love cooking when you were... um, alive,” Makoto sighed.

It wasn't a touchy subject any more, at least not most of the time. There had been... an incident back when Haru had first started to talk to a greater degree. In a moment of desperate sadness, Makoto had asked Haru if he could recall what he'd done to Rin. After a long silence, Haru admitted that he could remember it, but he'd had no control over himself back then. That getting back to being... the most of Haru he could be, had taken time. Which was the answer that Sousuke had quietly expected. He didn't blame Haru now, not after everything they'd been through, but Haru blamed himself. He didn't talk to them for months after that. But eventually he spoke again and then they all kept on talking until they knew what was fine to say and what wasn't. Comments about Haru being undead were usually acceptable and tended to be more of a joke these days than anything else.

With the menu agreed upon, Makoto untangled himself from Sousuke's embrace and went to gather up some of the wood that Haru had been chopping for the fire. When Makoto disappeared inside the cottage, Sousuke had the same conversation with Haru that he'd had a thousand times before.

“You can come in with us, you know? It's starting to get colder out,” he said.

_“...Too riss-ky...”_ dismissed Haru, _“...Bessides I d-don't fee-eel... the cold...”_

Yeah, but Makoto does and he'll still insist on sitting outside to eat with you if you don't come in with us – was what Sousuke didn't say. He knew that Haru had good intentions by refusing to go into the cottage, even if he'd always been fine. Haru claimed there were moments when he struggled worse than others and he sometimes still had the slight temptation to bite Sousuke (but not Makoto, never Makoto). When they'd all talked about it, Makoto made a sly comment about how in a different situation he wouldn't have minded watching that, which had shut both Haru and Sousuke up completely. Even so, the general conclusion Haru reached was that he wasn't coming into the cottage with them, especially not overnight while they slept.

“It's only autumn,” Makoto said, sticking his head back out of the door, “So it's not that cold yet.”

“Yeah, but it'll get there,” Sousuke assured him.

“We're all stocked up this year, so it won't be a problem,” replied Makoto.

“This year...” Sousuke repeated, though his mind was on a different track now, “It's weird that the passing of seasons is the only way we can tell that the years go by now.”

_“...T-time isss... an illu-usion...”_ claimed Haru.

“You would say that. You just keep living indefinitely,” Sousuke snorted.

“We're not having that conversation again, it just gets too depressing,” warned Makoto.

“Yeah, might as well choose from all of the more light-hearted dinner time zombie topics,” said Sousuke, “Like whatever happened to that guy's head or how Haru's digestive system works.”

_“...I t-t-told yoo-ou... his sskull is in a d-ditch some...where...”_ replied Haru, _“And th-that you ca-aan mind your own businee-ess about... that other quess...tion...”_

“You only say that because you don't know either,” Sousuke said.

With that, Makoto shook his head at them both and went back inside to cook two of the fish. He'd purposely also taken Haru's raw one inside, to try to tempt him indoors before the winter came, but Sousuke knew it was fruitless. He couldn't blame Makoto for trying though, because sometimes those false hopes were what you needed. He'd learned that a long time ago.

Sousuke and Haru stayed out on the porch in companionable silence. It was a usual day, filled with nothing of note that would merge into all of the other days. Sousuke almost resented himself that he remembered all these similar days more than he remembered the times at the beginning, but that was why he'd tried so hard to hold onto those memories. He so clearly pictured the faces of those who were gone, even if they probably didn't look like that now...

Was his mother finally as old as she always acted like she was? Did Kisumi now also struggle with the odd white hair poking through? Though Sousuke doubted it. He knew that because he had darker hair, it was more noticeable on him, even if Makoto claimed to like it...

Their lives must have gone on in a place that Sousuke didn't know, with other people who had somehow made it out alive. Other people who were safe from the zombies that... weren't like Haru. Were there any others like Haru at all? Sousuke often wondered about that as well.

The day drifted towards sunset, much earlier now than in months gone by. They all sat on the porch and ate and talked and planned for the weeks ahead, in their same, predictable ways. It was soothing to Sousuke and he liked to believe that the other two felt the same.

But on that day it was Sousuke who looked to the sky, just like Makoto had done during what felt like a lifetime ago. And he saw... he saw the dot in the distance. It wasn't a bird, he knew that. Even though he had no reason to recall what it looked like, he instantly recognised the helicopter on the horizon. It was coming. It was coming for them.

_“...It m-might bee... juu-ust passing... over...”_ Haru pointed out.

“It's not,” said Sousuke.

He didn't know how he knew, but he just knew.

And sure enough, the helicopter came. A different one to the one that took the rest of Sousuke's family away. It looked newer, all sleek and shiny. Freshly manufactured, even. The world couldn't be doing that badly if it could still afford to make helicopters, Sousuke's cynical mind pointed out. It lowered itself down into the clearing, which was both bigger now after years of cutting down the surrounding trees and was also free of any rocks, given that they'd had no more need to make any S.O.S. signs.

Sousuke had no idea what was going to happen, even less so than he had done the first time. If anyone had bothered to remember the crazy couple who opted to stay in the mountains, then surely they also must have remembered that they refused to go anywhere unless they could bring their zombie with them. Yet here this helicopter was...

The door opened and people piled out. Still in uniform, but it looked completely different to the one from before, almost like they were out for a walk on the moon instead of in the Japanese mountains. Their faces were all covered with masks and not a single part of their bodies were exposed to the air. It must be the latest anti-zombie gear, Sousuke decided.

But then one man stepped out after them who looked nothing like the others. He wasn't wearing any of the protective clothing, not even a mask to cover his face. Instead he wore a bright white jacket and when he walked, he sauntered. He actually sauntered. Sousuke had never seen anyone walk like that for such a long time. Or even be surrounded by enough people with something prove to for someone to even need to walk that way in the first place. But this guy obviously had some authority over those around him, since none of the others protested to him being out here like this.

Sousuke didn't recognise him, but Makoto did. Even before the man had gotten close, Makoto clasped his hands up to his mouth in disbelief.

“Oh god...” he whispered. Then before Sousuke or Haru could react, Makoto had rushed forward towards the man; “Look at how you've grown...!” he cried, “Look at you!”

That was when Sousuke clicked, though he wasn't sure that he could believe it. He made his way over to join them, noting that Haru held back.

“Way to make a guy feel old,” Sousuke muttered, smiling at Hayato.

“I told you I'd come back,” Hayato replied. He beamed right back at Sousuke.

“Yeah, but... we didn't think you actually would,” said Sousuke, “That was just... lies you tell kids, you know?”

Hayato shrugged; “Well, it was a good thing I didn't know that, because now I'm here. And I'm... sorry that it couldn't have been sooner, but it took me a long time to get clearance.”

“You don't have to apologise, you're here now,” Makoto assured, “Please, you have to tell us everything... How is everyone?”

“They're doing fine. Mostly...” Hayato replied, with some slight hesitation in his voice, “I mean, mother's doing well for sure. She almost cried when I told her that I was going to see you all at last. And Kisumi... well, he has good days and bad days, but he's safe and that's what matters, isn't it?”

“I'm glad you're all safe...” Makoto replied, which wasn't an answer to Hayato's question, though worked in the place of one, “But why are you here? It's not that we aren't glad to see you, but... our answer hasn't changed from before.”

“Ours has though,” informed Hayato, “There are other zombies like Haru. Not many of them, but there are a few. We're... doing tests on them now. No cure as of yet, but we're coming to understand that they're safe enough on their own.”

“So Haru can come with us if we go?” Sousuke asked.

“Yes. He won't be able to live with you, since zombies of any kind are kept separate from civilians. But I'm working on it. And I feel that if I had Haru on my side, then it'd really help,” said Hayato.

It didn't sound like an ideal answer to Sousuke. In fact, it was a very cryptic and guarded one. All that was being said for sure was that they wouldn't be able to stay with Haru any more, whereas by contrast, out here they could all stay together without following the rules of anyone else and be just fine. It wasn't that Sousuke didn't trust Hayato, but he didn't trust the unknown world that the helicopter would take them to.

“I don't know...” Sousuke replied, “We're a family, we stick together...”

_“...Aan-nd half of y-your fam-ily has... been k-kept awaay... from you th-thisss whoo-ole time...”_ Haru argued, having come up behind them while they were talking, _“...Let me m-maake my own ch-choo-oices... Souss...uke...”_

“You can talk, that's great,” Hayato chimed. He sounded a bit too cheerful for the situation, “I mean, I figured that you'd be able to by now, since what I remember of your development from when I was a kid implied that you weren't far off regaining that, but obviously I couldn't know for sure.”

Haru looked at Hayato, taking him in through the one eye that could still see. And when Hayato didn't look unsettled in the slightest, Sousuke realised that this kid had spent enough time around zombies to become desensitised to them. Well, Sousuke had always wondered what kind of person Hayato would grow up to be in this world and now he had his answer.

_“...Why am I... l-like thii-iss...?”_ Haru asked. Because it was the first time he'd been presented with a person who might know the answer.

“All I can give you are theories,” replied Hayato, “Do you have any history of synesthesia? Because some of the theories behind that align with the theories that I've been pushing – that in some people, when one part of the brain becomes unable to keep functioning as normal, another part steps in to pick up the slack. It seems that the zombies we've brought in who are like you all talk about a 'recovery process', as if over times their consciousness has been rebuilding itself until it becomes almost normal, save for the obvious physical differences.”

_“...Gonna be honn-est... I h-have no idd-dea what you're t-talkiiing... about...”_ Haru admitted, _“...But I t-trussst you... k-knowww wh-haat y-yoou'ree doing...”_

“I do. And if everything goes well, then you might be able to live with all of us like just another person one day. But the first step towards that is the three of you coming with us,” said Hayato. He'd been working up to this part, Sousuke could tell. Particularly because he looked the most nervous towards Sousuke as he went on, “...I can't force you to come with me, of course. Mother even said that you might want to stay and that she wouldn't blame you for it. But I had to at least come out here to ask. So... will you give us a chance?”

Makoto and Haru were looking at him. Just like that, after years of living as equals, Sousuke was the leader again. If he was honest, his mother knew him well – part of Sousuke didn't want to leave the mountains. They'd been doing fine out here for years and the alternate was going to somewhere they knew nothing about, on the vague testimony of a guy who seemed to be hiding a lot of the details from them. And while they might be able to live with Haru again in the future, for now the definite answer was that he would be separated from them. Even if... he didn't seem to mind that notion. Maybe after all these years, he'd been given back the slim chance that there could be a cure for him and he wanted to take that chance.

And also... they'd get to see his mother and Kisumi again. Kisumi who apparently had 'good days and bad days'. With them there, maybe they'd be able to help him have more good days.

The pros and cons were probably about equal, but Sousuke could tell what the other two wanted. He would make it work for them, just like he always did.

“...Fine, we'll come with you. If that's what everyone wants,” Sousuke answered.

He could feel Makoto's smile on him, as warm and understanding as always. It was almost too much. Sousuke shot a frown in Makoto's general direction.

“Thank you,” Makoto whispered, “You've done so much for us. Now it's time for us all to rest, don't you think?”

“I'll believe that when it happens,” Sousuke retorted.

But Makoto was right - it was over. They were given time to fetch a few things from the house and, once they were done, followed Hayato back onto the helicopter, with Haru winding up the uniformed people by making biting motions whenever they looked at him. They all backed away when he did, except for Hayato, who knew that he was joking.

Once they were inside, the doors were pulled shut and Hayato leaned in to tell the pilot that they were good to go. When he thought that none of them were looking, Hayato flashed the pilot a particular smirk that made the man come over a little flustered. Sousuke saw it, even if no one else did, and he quietly wondered just how much like his brother Hayato had turned out.

There were no blankets for them, not like when the others had been taken away all those years ago, but then Sousuke supposed they didn't need any. He wasn't going to complain about the lack of in-flight blankets, though maybe he would about the lack of in-flight meals, depending upon how long it took them to get to wherever they were going.

Sousuke sat down, with Makoto and Haru on either side of him. The three of them looked out of the window, down at the cottage, down at their cottage, on their mountain. Which was about to get smaller and smaller...

“We didn't leave the fire burning, did we?” Makoto asked.

“Nah, I put it out after dinner,” replied Sousuke, “Look, you can't see any smoke.”

“Did you... bring the shotgun?” Makoto slyly checked.

“...And the axe. I rarely don't have the axe,” promised Sousuke.

“That's good. You can never be too careful,” said Makoto, “Huh... it's kind of weird looking at it all from this high up. You can see the hot springs and Haru's old tree and I think the family's grave is out over there somewhere. It's all... what we made of it.”

_“...Th-thiss will b-be... wha-aat we make o-of... it as wee-eell...”_ insisted Haru, _“...It's n-n-not... the end ye-eet...”_

“We're too resilient for that,” Makoto agreed.

And with that, he looked away from the window and rested his head on Sousuke's shoulder, allowing the weight of their situation to finally drop, before the weight of a new situation could settle in when they got to wherever it was that they were going. But Kisumi would be there and Sousuke's mother would be there and Hayato was right here, so that was good enough for Sousuke. He thought that, as much as it sounded like something you'd find printed in floral text on a fridge magnet, home was where your family was. So if he was going to somewhere that all six of those people were going to be, then he would make that place his home.

With that belief now in his mind and two people he cared about resting against him, Sousuke allowed himself to finally fall into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I can't thank you enough for reading Trail Mix. 
> 
> Now, I suppose I should talk a bit about that sequel, Prison Food. It will be a direct follow-up to Trail Mix, dealing with what happens once they get to the ominous place that Hayato's being so vague about. Specifically, it will be from Haru's perspective instead of Sousuke's (which is why it's going to be a separate fic instead of just more chapters in Trail Mix), though all of the other characters will be making appearances as well, especially Kisumi. So you can look forward to that.
> 
> But no pressure of course. If you've followed Trail Mix up to this point and you want to think of this epilogue as being the ending then that's fine as well, you've earned it. I'm sure that they'll all be completely okay wherever they're going. They'll probably even send back postcards. Maybe. ...But for real, it means so much to me that you've even read this much and Prison Food is more for those who are morbidly curious. Which includes myself, since I wasn't able to let this story go as easily as I thought I would.
> 
> Also, concerning Hayato's theory, synesthesia is a real thing. I know because I have it, though I doubt it'd help me at all during a zombie apocalypse. Whether or not it's actually the reason behind Haru's condition is open-ended, which is why even Hayato himself was unsure. I'm pretty new to zombie writing, so I didn't want to bog this down with too many bullshit explanations and I hope you'll forgive me this one.


End file.
